Chives99

How do you expect to meet girls if you aren't social

When the dance floor is empty get on in and dance and don't give a fuck if a girl gives u a smile and good eye contact and beckon for her to come over she'll come with her mates cause she's shy dance with her be physical give her a twirl and hold her hands etc make small talk are u alright , having a good night what's your name are you from this city , then go in for Kiss but you can go in slowly enough for her to back out , buy her a drink , chat to her make her laugh at the end of the night she'*LL drag u back to hers or ask if she wants to come back to yours but don't be pushy respect her answer give her your addy on Facebook and say you'd like to speak to her again. Job sorted

Thats not very social, their might be a cute girl in his class

I'd get with my co-workers tbf I'm only in a basic job so awkwardness doesn't matter

Have you tried meetups and other social groups, I go to a zen sangha a few times a week, thats also very social when we're not meditating, but on a weekend i love to hit the bars, whilst you're developing your career/ acquiring skills, you could get a job in retail, thats very social and will help build your confidence, just dont do what I did and got so drunk at the christmas party and kissed my boss.

@Tyler Robinson do you like going to social stuff, whatever your interests are they'll be a social group for it if you live in a populated place, im from the countryside so i had to get out of that environment as people around me were far too conservative and now i can chat to like minded folk. If you're on your own it will just go round and round in your head. therapy and psychedelics are also a good addition to this

how old is he? sounds like he might be retired from the industry , football managers are too old to play but they have the best experience and knowledge to lead and train

You could always scramble your details so noone could identify you then delete your account

You lack vision, what do you love , what are your values, what gets you motivated about life? all things to deeply contemplate and journal on. I like going for long walks or drives, to clear my head, I talk to myself constantly being neuro-divergent so I like to do that alone so i dont annoy people with my ramblings. Most people are just coasting and dont know what they care about, nows the time to figure this out,

What I currently love is my zen sangha meetup, being cozy, this channel and the forum and the deep conversations. Having a laugh with friends at work and old friends from university ( dont talk to anyone from highschool never fitted in there). Doing weed and psychedelics on a late evening i dont like being high during the day. Talking to women, I like girls that are REALLY sweet plenty of guys find them boring and want someone a bit more fiesty but i like them very sweet and feminine, I just love flirting it feels really good and makes me tap into my authenticity. I love nature and going and exploring places. You can relate to any of those???

nah id love a girlfriend but i have very obscure interests so i dont really know who i'd be compatible with

You need a friend right now, have you got mates you can hang out with, my mate just went through a breakup and we're hitting the bars and clubs next weekend. If not going out and doing social stuff is a great way to take your mind off stuff and meet new people, you'll be ready to date again given enough time but just try enjoying your life worse thing is to be on your own ruminating.

I dont like to blow my own trumpet but i would say i have a great sense of humour and am good at flirting which girls love, I'd say my weakness is my sensitivity due to my condition, I can get psychologically overwhelmed quite easily I can't do with people threatening me or shouting in my face I kind of just freeze and my brain turns to mush. I can only gather enough strength to fight back if someone actually attacks me but thats survival adrenaline kicking in. Bullies with not much personality attract girls by acting tough and freighting off other guys, thats their survival strategy. I guess i just have to accept I have a disability and thats its just life as all sorts of people have short comings and to accept who you are. My values on the other hand say I dont want to engage in confrontations as its just stupid cave man behaviour, I would like enough strength to stand up for myself, but I dont see why I should engage with bullies im an adult im not at school , maybe this is just an issue of not avoiding toxic people as much as possible because if i have to defend myself il end up using excessive self defense and then I'll end up in jail. Maybe i just need some resilience to toughen up but not to the point where i engage with fighting. Can anyone else relate on this issue of sensitivity?

@blueberries Its nothing to serious im just nothing too serious im just not used to standing up for myself as I've found it difficult, theres just immature people in my workplace that i have to interact with, practicing to toughen up would probably resolve it, autistic people are quite thin skinned by default.

all this time people in my life and leo have constantly being telling me to stop focusing on and needing to get my life 'right' socially, whether that be getting the right peer group, or romantic and sexual acquisitions. I've fallen down time and time again but my logical brain somehow was determined to weasel its way around this issue and keep on striving and wanting , but too many other factors get in the way and I end up doing more harm than good. I think i'm sick of hitting my head against the wall and letting things happen naturally, although still put my self in social situations.

guns have destroyed america its like a nuclear arms race where everyone feels the need to have one because everyone else has one and now disgruntled people take out their grievances out on everyone, i have some family friends from the states they say they dont attend public events like parades etc anymore its just not safe, so sad

Letting go = accepting who you are regardless.......

@Brandon Nankivell damn

My city in liverpool (UK) does zoom sangha from the zen dojo I attend, I find its more disciplined if your doing it together. its stone water zen

Leo there's only YOU here

My brain is overly logical and i think ive struggled so much as ive tried to model socialisation rather than taking action and just wasted time, looking for the perfect opportunity or the perfect sign. If someone is showing interests after have been chatting for a bit in person I feel now its best just to go for it and message her otherwise she'll get bored. I dont mean it in an overly imposing way just to test the waters and chat. Would be interesting to hear womens opinions on the matter.

Just looking for other styles of how people engage in it, I know theres no ultimate right way, but like to compare. When I've been getting good signals and vibes from a girl and have been chatting, I will slightly cock my head to the side and give and look into her eyes and say something flirtatious, this will usually result in her blushing and looking down coyly. If we're across the room I smile and if she smiles back I increase my smile and we briefly mutually stare at each other.

when it comes to phone texting, texts are for very lite covo as like who texts now a days unless you're like my dad (65) and not in the loop of facebook lol, text to organise a coffee date, coffee is very non committal and if u hit it off u can progress from there, if u get her on facebook u can chat for a bit on their , i'd suggest keeping facebook convo light hearted and fun nothing too serious make her laugh and tap into the authentic. Hope it goes really well for you but, if not then keep your heaad up and get back out there.

I love ambient and drone music, eluvium has always been my one of favs, it just hits you beyond the meaningless of it all