Chives99

instead up of picking upping why dont you just engage in some fun hobbies and interests and shoot the breeze with women there if your autistic and have a special interest find a woman who likes your interest then you can chew her ear off about it lol, if you try to date neurotypical women well thats just like trying to put a square peg into a round hole , no wonder you cant connect lol.

@Twentyfirst what is underground market lol

I don’t even know where to begin looking for a woman who genuinely wants a soul-level connection. I have zero interest in playing society’s dating games — I crave something raw, emotionally authentic, and real. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places... perhaps I need to start meeting women at personal development workshops, trauma groups, or philosophy clubs — places where depth is the baseline, not the exception. Definitely a different vibe from the surface-level socializing you get in most environments.

@Yimpa And that’s it. The love. The pain. The obsession. The desperation. The loneliness. All of it dissolves into something greater — and you realize: You were never missing anything. You were just chasing a reflection of the divine intimacy that already lives inside you.

your whole relationship is fake then, how can you be happy with that , i kinda get why some cultures do the whole arrange marriage thing cut out the manipulation and tomfoolerly

This is why I like being autistic. Everyone else just seems to be gaming each other—playing roles, performing, keeping everything on the surface with no real depth or authenticity. Being emotionally deep and authentic is lonely, because most people don’t communicate on that level. But I’d rather be real than sell myself out for shallow, surface-level relationships. I see it all the time—couples staying together just because they don’t want to be lonely, not because they truly connect. There’s no emotional intimacy, just a performance. And I’ve noticed in the news how some teachers end up throwing their lives away for a relationship with a student. It’s incredibly stupid, sure—but part of me thinks it comes from being emotionally starved. Society tells us to bottle everything up, to keep up appearances, and they just snap. They always seem to go for the misfits, the emotionally open ones—often autistic teens—not the typical "chads." I bet those kids were sweet and real with them in a way most people aren't. I get why it’s called “game,” this whole dating culture, but maybe I don’t want game. I want to be real. And that scares people—being vulnerable, putting your heart on the line, letting yourself be seen. But to me, that’s the only way connection actually means something.

Shallow , trivial form of happiness

even if you get what you think you want through ego you cant even enjoy it anyway as there is the fear of loss and fear of insecurity and unworthiness. With surrender everything is allowed which creates an openness for things to be authentically be brought into your life

thats because we become conditioned to fit the mould which stifles our individuality

the abrahamic seem very dualistic , any kind of worship fuels seperation

give up on yourself, thats the counter-intuitive thing. In doing so it might bring about the fear of uncertainty, of How will I survive? how will i get what I want? how will i find peace and happiness? With surrender comes freedom from the inner turmoil of the mind and an allowing of openness to let things naturally play out. Trying to control everything only antagonises it

We've discussed on here many time that online dating is shitshow with a winner takes all environment where everyone looking with the abundance of beautiful people on these apps are all chasing after the top 20 percent and ignoring 80 percent of the other profiles, it creates the illusion that any guy could date a super model and any woman could date a rockstar you just have to swipe enough ........... friendship apps are great for building social circle and theres no pressure to score or impress the person etc so you can just relax and chat and they could invite you to a social gathering , party or whatever and introduce you to more people . I've got plenty of friends that were friends with their now partner for years before they went on a date, so completely ignore the advice you have to rush into romance you can very well be with someone on friendly basis and things change, but dont have that expectation though just enjoy socialising. to me its the lack of pressure why these apps are more preferable , desperation is the biggest turn off ever, so theres no needing to get anywhere

@Consept In zen there is a concept calling 'standing in your own way' self sabotage basically where you cut yourself from what you want by pretending that you are seperate from it and need to acquire something to be worthy of it. The irony is this mechanism is what fuels seperation in of itself

its a mental health crisis , mental health support , connections and opportunities to socialise and be part of something is certainly missing . We are a social species , how ironic now that we all live in cities and can connect with each other with a touch of a button ,yet are more isolated than ever. Ignoring incels wont make them go away, I suppose this post is guidance for incels that are not at the point of needing psychiatric treatment. I go to neurodiverse meetups easy to talk to people there than regular drinking ones, other than that go to socials which are relevant your passions like if your into coding , you'd go to a tech meetup or if you like wrestling they'd be something for that etc

i dont blame people for living with their parents in this economy , I know plenty of people that live with their parents and have a partner so thats definately not going to to stop you from finding someone , its your personality or you not looking for someone you are compatible with