Holykael

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Everything posted by Holykael

  1. Psychedelics are not working on the brain, that's complete materialistic horseshit. There are no chemicals in the brain, it's a complete fiction.
  2. I understand this. That's why I curse god. Why is he doing this. Only a retard would do this.
  3. If I had true sight I would see everything happening as love and feel that love. I could go homeless and I wouldn't care if only I could feel the love in every moment. Why must I go through life with an "ego", with a perspective that doesn't even want to exist. Why does god hoard all the love to itself only and not share it with its beings. I understand that god wants to give life to every form but why must it give form to suffering forms and not simply joyful forms. If everyone was feeling love all the time there would be no evil. Why isn't creation just an infinite field with all the possible forms in existence all blissed out in love walking around hugging and petting each other. Now that would be paradise. Why make everyone work and cruel shit like that. I see the radiance in all these beings existing but the feeling doesn't stay. I have this cold and heartless neutrality and I don't want it. I just want to disappear and be a love camera and just observe reality. Free this body from my grasp. Allow it to live in non existent bliss just like the others and simply observe.
  4. God is free but he doesn't make use of it. Since there is no bias anything goes it might as well be random which life god chooses to live. The freedom and power is wasted on god.
  5. Lol at the idea that god is trying to make anyone free by giving people a completely useless choice and then caging them in an environment with little freedom. Everything is predestined anyway. There's actually 0 freedom so no one is actually good or evil. God is the only one who can be good or evil and he's plenty evil which taints any goodness.
  6. My words and thoughts appear to me spontaneously. They come from the source not from me. It is god that is speaking, Holykael is just an animated character. He doesn't actually exist. The thing nobody understands and never will is that this man was deeply betrayed by god. One time Holykael read a passage that deeply resonated (not knowing resonation is just manipulation from on high). Once you find an inner voice to guide you, follow it no matter what anyone else says. This was present in a very appealing spiritual text. Holykael followed this advice and started having his life guided by the inner voice and because of that he made several stupid moves that ruined his life forever. The inner voice was accompanied by hallucinations like the all seeing eye would appear projected in reality to give more authority to the inner voice. This inner voice was orchestrated by god and god deliberately betrayed this man and took everything away from him. How would you feel if you were betrayed by the only being you are supposed to trust. God is a backstabber, a pig, a cruel monster who orchestrates the suffering of billions while giving immense pleasure and power to the few. These few are pedophiles, perform satanic rituals and are responsible for human trafficking, yet they are rewarded with riches and an easy life.
  7. The resistance is part of the happening, you can't really control it. God really is such a bastard I can't believe no one else notices. Oh wait, that's actually part of god's plan to isolate me as the only conscious being.
  8. I want the ability to dream every night 100 years of time and fulfill all my fantasies and desires
  9. No Razard, you're actually wrong because getting my way all the time in truth has no distinction from not getting my way all the time. The distinction is imagined. You say that god imagines boredom when it gets its way all the time but god could instead imagine satisfaction, the experience is entirely customizable. The truth is entirely malleable. I don't necessarily wish for things to go my way, I just want to feel good. Things didn't go my way and now my life is horribly boring and unsalvageable. When things were going my way I was feeling satisfaction and was having a great time. It is said that any pleasure on this earth is like horrible torture compared to the bliss of heaven. Even given this fact, god is miserable and ungenerous in duling out the pleasures of this earth, you have to pay for it in equal misery. I experienced like 5 great blissful vacations in 28 years, with money that I had to earn working like a slave. Why can't my life be an endless LSD trip where my appreciation for music is heightened, where there's no such thing as "getting used to it". Where novelty is constant. Why can't my life be an endless buffet of choice. Why must I live constrained like a slave, chained to obligation and daily duties. Why didn't god at least make me compliant to the life I have. Why didn't he make me feel satisfied with what I have. Everything is the fault of the designer. The blame is entirely on the designer forever and ever. Surrender to what is because what is is a piece of shit but hey it's perfect. For fucking no one , no one sees that it is perfect because I'm the pnly one here and I don't see it and I'll never fucking see it. So what's the point of spending a life in dissatisfaction only tp appreciate it when I'm dead? Why bother living at all. God already knew this life. God is omniscient, it's not about appreciation. It's just stupid OCD retarded bullshit I have to be everything. For whom do I have to be everything? I thought god was free but no god is an eternal slave. I was surprised alright. Surprised that this world is a scam, run by occult pedophiles who want to kill everyone and make life a serfdom. I was surprised that the earth is actually flat and that there is no outer space. I was surprised that space was made in a Hollywood basement. I was surprise that the Vatican, celebrities and the secret societies actually worship lucifer. I was surprised that I am god. I was surprised by a lot of things. But I could have been surprised while living a good life which is actually what happened for the most part. I was surprised that my life was ruined beyond repair but now living is shit such that none of the surprises were actually worth anything.
  10. I may not be the body but I feel everything the body is feeling so where is the freedom in that? My POV is bound to the movement of the body and all my sensations are of the body. Plus you can't really work on that. Either god makes the shift in consciousness or leaves you in ignorance forever. The character in the movie can't do anything. What's writing this post is not the awareness, it's the body.
  11. It's not negativity. It's science. Observation and expression of said observation.
  12. So god puts us here in the world. You awaken to the truth and find out nothing in the world can satisfy you or give you happiness. Isn't this just a cruel joke, why bother creating the world in the first place if it is a complete illusion, utterly disposable and useless, only destined to bring you misery. Another thing that is also just a cruel and pointless design is duality. You can experience the height of temporary happiness but you'll be hit back with a misery of the same potency. Why bother giving you any happiness in the first place if it comes at a cost. Isn't god loving and good? Why do good things come with a price so that in the end nothing was ever worth it. I have experienced a satisfying life in certain key years of my life but the misery that I feel now on a daily basis is much worse in potency than the happiness I was ever given. In the fleeting moments that you experience beauty like in a song for example, it will vanish with hedonistic adaptation. Why not keep a consistent experience with things. I think I finally found a job again. So I'll be working the next 20 years to get out of the rat race and then I'll be old, 50, and I'll have money but what can I do as a 50 year old. I'll just live the pointless day to day grind, if I'm lucky I'll be able to get a hold of psychedelics because my family will have died but so what. It isn't worth it at all. And there is no easy exit button. God wants me here. I can't easily kill myself without undergoing extreme suffering or risk injury or disability. This is a story that will be repeated an infinite amount of times, and there are an infinity of other people that are worse off and going to live their lives too. Why bother with anything at all. Why not stay complete, happy and satisfied forever. Why bother with creation and finiteness. It's so dumb. Nobody fucking likes it. Isn't it extremely selfish of god to create beings only to make them suffer. It doesn't matter that it's just god doing it to itself, I feel like a completely separate being with my own characteristics, like a character that was created. Shouldn't god be responsible for its creation, god is extremely selfish because over the desires of every single fucking character they undergo god's desires instead instead of the characters own fictitious desires. It just doesn't make any sense. If the best that the highest possible intelligence can produce is this, then sadly I have to say that intelligence is completely worthless.
  13. I disagree. I think it's pretty dumb. What's good is having total freedom, having no restrictions in what you can do. No money, no fixed physical body, no nothing. Total freedom. That's the only thing that is worthy, true freedom. Nothing else matters.
  14. Dying in ecstasy sounds fun. Now that would be a good reality
  15. A bias towards wholesomeness, love, beauty and kindness. That's how you create meaning and purpose. However for our universe god has no bias so nothing matters. In one universe a son loves his mother and they have a beautiful relationship. In another universe the same son and mother and the son beats the crap out of and rapes the mother. So in a universe with no bias nothing matters, no acts of good have any meaning because they will be nullified by their counterpart. There's nothing truly wholesome and beautiful because the disgusting and ugly counterpart is just as precious to god. God could choose to put itself under the perfect bias forever but instead it creates with zero preferences and the consequence is that god will go through all the shitty and unworthy biases in existence. I saw this wholesome video of a brother crying holding his sibling but in another universe he will be looking with hatred and disgust. Why does god choose to be everything instead of cutting off all the bullshit from itself. Nobody needs a universe where babies are put in the trash or a universe where family members don't love each other. By all means everything goes in fiction but for manifested universes. They should be handled with care. I have seen this from direct experience. How truly god is just a disgusting pig who embraces all atrocity and will create absolutely all of it. Is this really who you want at the helm?
  16. In this world there's everything. there's horror and atrocity and there's beauty and love. I will have to live through all of it, so I'm arguing from that standpoint. I wish that weren't the case. What good is imagining all good stuff when that's not the truth. There's as many hell realms as there are heavenly realms.
  17. I do hear voices that say things that bother me. Who put the voices there? God. I have negative thought loops about the things I'm destined to suffer in infinity. Who created infinity and all its suffering? God. God controls the state of consciousness, the state of consciousness is immutably written in the movie. Why is god putting a being under these states of consciousness? Why not have him undergo healing and constructive states of consciousness. God doesn't give a flying fuck about the well being of its characters, god only cares about manifesting EVERYTHING. No matter how hurtful and fucked up it may be. What does that tell you about god? It is very simple, for all the highs I experienced in life, I'm experiencing the lows. The "perfect" design. What a joke.
  18. I didn't ask to be created. Isn't god selfish for creating a being who wishes he didn't exist. How am I selfish if I am exactly as god willed me. I can't be any other way, I'm imaginary. Who is really selfish here? I am a written character in the play who is forced to undergo its circumstances. What does the play say about the author though? At the very least it says the author doesn't give a flying fuck about the well being of its characters, otherwise the writing would have reflected that
  19. I didn't grow from my shitty experiences. I regressed and de-evolved and there was absolutely no purpose in them. In infinity, cruelty for cruelty sake will happen for no reason. That's god's "masterpiece".
  20. I know how beautiful life can be but it's only beautiful while things go your way
  21. It's just one of the possibilities in infinity.
  22. Elon is a freemason/part of the shadow government. He knows about them and lies to the public.
  23. I was a possibility in the potential infinity and I am yelling at god "why have you created me, you should have never created me" and so are an infinity of other beings
  24. Was it good that I had an abusive father, that's absolute goodness. To whom exactly? I doubt anyone on earth would argue that's good. It's good only for god. If god is literally willing it over the opinions of all living beings, that to me makes god extremely selfish. If god were good, he wouldn't make an abusive father because it promotes the well being of all living beings. Shouldn't god care more about its creations than it does itself if it were selfless???
  25. I'd like to think that's true but if god is truly everything, he will manifest these atrocities in first person in some other dream, given enough dreams, eventually it'll get there. When this dream ends I'll know the truth but I won't have any bias to do anything about it. It has already manifested atrocities in my life like being tortured, scammed, psychosis, losing the love of my life, etc.