Holykael

The only thing I'm learning is that reality sucks. Only good when nothing exists.

I had a good life for 26 years. If im to experience the other side of the coin. I have 24 more years of misery, only two years in.

What if it's me getting genocided. I'm feeling it. Actually genocide is good as long as people get a quick death. A quick death is good.

I care about genocide because I still care about people even if they don't have their own consciousness. But facts don't care about your feelings as some say and god is a monster that will commit genocide again and again.

I will feel the character's pains and feelings until it dies. So what does it matter if I'm not it but still I'm feeling it. What value is there in "knowing you're not the character" if you're fucking stuck with it lol. And who's writing this text. Is it the character? Or is it god? That implies a duality. The character and god are one.

Because it is predetermined by god that I be miserable. What does that say about god?

She's just a character in this dream with no life of her own. Her existence is just those videos. You can't really know, it's pure speculation. And sure there may be people that suffer a lot and end up feeling good but likewise there are a lot of people who don't even suffer and feel bad or depressed and people who wish they were never born. It's infinity, anything goes. And therein lies the abomination, the consequence of anything goes is utterly dreadful.

Because god willed it to be negative for me. Predeterminism is inherently neutral but it's also super dangerous when god decides that your life will be shit and you are stuck in a prison with no way out.

Life is a movie. An entirely directed and designed experience. Everything is pre ordained. The transition from state of consciousness to state of consciousness, the flow of thoughts, the flow of actions, the emotions, etc. If you imagine a video editor who pieces together a video by cutting frames and inserting effects and audio tracks, god has video edited your entire life to the tiniest detail. That's why there shouldn't be any blame or guilt, useless and fraudulent emotions because you're not responsible for your actions. That said it is part of the play that people and society will attribute the blame of your actions to you, but that's also handcrafted and purely imaginary. You don't surrender to life, you don't do anything. You transition from moment to moment and everything happens automatically. If you know this, god will have planted some anxiety and discomfort from the knowing but it still changes nothing. The sage Ramesh Balsekar says that life is imprisonment for consciousness. Other sages say that life is a contrast to infinite love and bliss, a way to increase appreciation for the true home of consciousness. The life may include things like astral projection, lucid dreams and psychedelic trips. There is no control even in lucid dreams, you are under the illusion of free will like in waking life but in truth you're being directed by subtle thoughts like "Im gonna do this" This truth turns me into a nihilist because Im entirely powerless while dreaming and I have phases of intense discomfort, pain and suffering already pre planned and there is nothing I can do to avoid them. And how can I trust the architect of my suffering to provide me a good life. A good life is not guaranteed, you may be entirely born to suffer. Free will is literally a non existent fantasy because of the nature of imagination. Imagination has to follow a linear progression of moments, the imaginary is an expression of mind, it doesn't really have a "life". There is no "alive" beings. There is only fluid imagination that simulates life. In one sense it is not incorrect to say that this is a simulation because it is. It just isn't a computer simulation. This is a simulation of life. Actual life cannot truly exist, the only thing that is permanent and truly exists is god. Understanding is a function of the simulation or dream. It's states of consciousness. Like memory, consciousness can hold in itself a sense of understanding. This is a deconstruction of Maya, the illusion of consciousness. Enjoy.

Here's another woman's perspective.

The hardest part about accepting that I'm god is to accept the true nature of god which is infinite cruelty, evil and despair. I will and have already subjected trillions of beings to immense suffering. I have and will continue to bring into existence beings who never wished to exist for no reason at all other than this sick identity game of being infinite. I don't know what's going to happen to this character, the character is innocent but the controller of the character isn't. If I end up in the streets starving to death, maybe I deserve it because after all I have created this rotten and corrupt world. My will is done 24/7 and it's tragic. If god was truly good and selfless, he would lay down his imagination forever, remove the infinite love and bliss and sleep in nothingness forever. Now that's truly selfless. It is my wish and my desire. Absolute non existence. Is there anything more selfless than that, renouncing infinite pleasure and just be nothingness forever?

The outcome of all your coinflips is predetermined, saying it is a probability is a mere conceptual convenience.

I'm averse to falsehood. And probability cannot exist, it can only be simulated. There's no such thing as uncertainty or randomness, the universe doesn't make mistakes.

It's complete nonsense. There's only destiny, there are no timelines, probabilities or anything like that. Here's a better perspective. https://youtu.be/EkaPeO2i79w?si=cCKeLM5HQx10yW1l

Easy I'll drop your confusion. Something that causes pain and suffering is evil.

Direct experience doesn't lie

But it is attached so a single human at the moment through which qualia happens. And it is simulating the feelings and emotions of this single being.

Life is a rollercoaster and you are in it. You can't really change the trajectory of the rollercoaster. All you can do is hope that it isn't a faulty rollercoaster that will give you a gruesome death.

You didn't will the positive love emotions nor did you will your thoughts. You saying that you can sit and do something is a thought. You didn't produce the thought, it happened spontaneously. Also this. It's so annoying that god programmed others to speak like they are free when they aren't.

God is free yes because he is outside of imagination.

I mean any type of love. Love for your mother, love for a story, love for a video game, love for god.

No Im speaking about feeling the emotion called love. However the same logic still applies to attraction.

That still doesn't produce the feeling of love. The feeling of love is spontaneous per god's will or cosmic law. You don't choose who you fall in love with.

How do you actually will yourself into loving someone. You can't. Love is a spontaneous happening out of your control.

Since there is no bias. God's free will means eternal slavery. It means going through billions of lives in wage slavery. It means lives of being an actual slave. It means living as an animal only to be consumed by another animal. If we take this planet to be a sample of what life is like for the infinity of beings. Things are not looking good. This is a planet of slaves or being someone's food. True freedom is only possible when a biased entity is given no limitations. This exists in infinity but is a very small portion of beings so very rarely I'll get a taste of freedom.