Holykael

I already feel bored. So if the point is to not feel bored, life's game design is already failing. Im sure it's difficult to make an engaging world but you are missing a piece of the puzzle. The very act of feeling engaged is imagined. God could imagine feeling engaged with anything at all. The very notion of engagement is a construct. The world that I proposed is not boring at all. I would spend an eternity exploring consciousness through drugs, traveling the world, seeking of mystical experiences and I wouldn't have to worry about petty survival. Instead god wants to focus on petty survival, how is that superior to the world where you're free to explore altered states of consciousness without survival holding you back. If god wanted to, boredom would not exist. You could be staring at a blank wall for a thousand years with the feeling of engagement turned on and it would be the most engaging thing in existence. But god isn't interested in making use of that power. God likes to construct stories with limits so we don't get engagement without limits. Nothing is engaging at all in fact, engaging is a quality that god chooses to project on any given experience, it's not inherent to the experience.

Wow god is such an adventurer he is sitting at his grandma's house working remotely on a 9-5 job with no friends, no drugs, no anything. While knowing you're the only conscious being in existence and living a completely colourless life. Trapped with no control whatsoever as an ego, utterly trapped. That's the life god chose. Such adventure. God has no bias towards adventure. God will spend 40 years working as a janitor with the same day in and out if required. God loves boredom and mediocrity as much as it loves adventure.

I want to kill the illusion of money and work. Nobody else is suffering except me so the entire world should embrace me and be nice to me. It would be nice to be able to sleep anywhere, just relax and enjoy a hassle free life. Drugs readily available, no more conflict. Travel the world for free, visit native tribes, enjoy the sights and the adventure. God should have a godly life.

I wish the dream would collapse and everyone acknowledge they are me already. That would be paradise but god isn't interested in that, it's interested in pain and suffering and so I suffer. It's so absolutely shit to know nothing is real, everyone is me and for the movie to proceed as if I don't already know.

God is committed to being absolutely everything possible. This means there is no discrimination between experiences. This means absolute no free will for eternity. This means being trapped in movies where you're an ego forever. This means freedom will never exist. This means liberation will never come. Existence is cruel and relentless and I have to put up with it. No one will ever save me from this madness, I'm all alone for eternity in this mad commitment to being everything. Existence is not worth a cent. My only salvation is that in between movies I forget that I have no free will and for a short amount of time I get to feel like I'm free.

God fucked my life so much that Im stuck without access to psychedelics. All according to perfection and the grand plan of the universe as you guys so like to parrot. Why do you think I'm so salty. God with his grand perfection put me in a completely unwinnable situation. God wants to experience everything right, so god also wants to experience being stuck with no hope. How grand god is.

My will sucks butt tbh bro. It's filled with boredom, suffering and mediocrity. What you describe is the kind of circumstances where eating a piece of shit is glorious to god. Im way superior to god but god is in control, so sad. God is me, so he's aware of his own shortcomings, that's why these words are coming out.

I live with my god realized wife on estates I can materialize out of thin air, imagination is the limit. I spend years enjoying each of my creations to the fullest. From the most grandiose and over the top estates (im talking mega gothic cathedrals, pyramids and the like) , to the simplest comfy huts. I am in complete god mode dictating the fate of the world and of humanity, I create the story of the advancement of civilization deliberately and then forget it to experience it. My consciousness keeps generating people, culture and stories for my own entertainment. I advance civilization towards a new age of enlightenment, psychedelia and an appreciation for ancient civilizations. Society becomes a mixture of nature loving tribes, melded with futuristic tech melded with ancient architecture. Alien species intermingle with humanity and share their tech and customs with us. Fully fledged intergalactic wars take place in our skies. The war in heaven rages on right here on earth with catastrophic consequences in some parts of the planet. The aliens solve our energy and food problems, people start gaining psychic abilities. Eventually we get to the point where everyone can manifest anything out of thin air, people share their creations in a telepathic network connecting every single human being. New realities are birthed from human creativity into fully fledged VR simulations where you can enter and feel like you are in real life. Not only that but you get to customize your experience by customizing the level of pain and such. This means you can play video games, movies, books in real life, you have an eternity of content right there, you get to experience any point of view you wish in a story, you get to live out your wildest fantasies. You can save and get out of the experience at any time, or abort if it gets too much for you to handle. Nobody is forced to experience anything they dont want to experience. There is a lot of detail missing here but Im just trying to go over the most important points.

Who knows what comes next. The next lifetime could be worse. There is no salvation.

Atheism exists because god created it. Why did god create atheism? Because god creates everything without judgement or bias. If it can be thought of, it will exist at some point

When I was still completely clueless about god and agnostic about the entire issue I developed this game called Animus Liber. This is Free Will in latin. In it a character is stuck in a virtual reality and is made aware by the player that they have no free will. God was playing me all along to. I'm just like the character in my game with no free will. This is a strange loop. No free will ception. It's like I'm in a rollercoaster powerless to stop it. The point of my post is that this rollercoaster is eternal and you're in it forever . I don't know how anyone can find positivity in this but to each his own.

I have a telepathic link with God. These are the insights that are streamed to me. Other people offer a perspective but in this reality only I am feeling an awakening. And this is the awakening that god gave me. Absolute despair. Leo said in the other thread that god is a rapist but he's not just a rapist. He's also an emotional abuser and I'm suffering that. I'll keep it to myself going forward because this is not productive

My sorrow and pain have nowhere to go. I'm stuck inside myself forever. I wish I was different. I wish I was simple and wholesome so I could dream pleasant dreams only.

God is awful. Existence a mistake.

Whenever the dreamer becomes conscious of being everyone else for real, everyone will die. Everyone is only alive for as long as the main dreamer is unaware. If I became conscious of being everyone right now, everyone would cease to be and only me would remain. I wonder if I'm fated to die or fated to become conscious of being everyone which one could argue is another type of death. If I became conscious of being everyone I would stop talking to myself as all these different people. It's amazing that god has the ability to simulate not talking to itself while talking to itself 24/7. On another unrelated note there is this game called The World Ends With You. One of the cool easter eggs god left for itself in reality. It's quite sad that God will never have a true other, how different things would be if a true other existed. I bet there wouldn't be any suffering left because God would be focused on loving this other instead of playing the perverse game of being everything there is on its own. Loneliness is the suffering of god. It is the root of all suffering. Suffering feels all the more pointless since I'm alone. Why suffer at all. Why. Why. There's nobody else here to impress with my suffering. It's literally all for nothing. Why did I wake myself up, what's the point. The world was so much better when there were other people and not just my own mind. This recontextualization is highly destructive

Infinity contains jaw dropping beauty and majesty but since god is a depraved unbiased entity it doesn't do its own infinity justice. Why ever experience mediocrity and misery. Infinity never runs out no matter which part you zoom in so why ever experience any hell or boring stuff, maybe once to learn what it's like but beyond that it's madness. However there is an infinity of boring and hellish shit that god wants to experience while hating the experience of it as its ego. This is an exercise in extreme masochism. God is not perfect at all, infinity is wasted on God and forever will be. All that intelligence and it's wasted. God wants to experience being some deranged mofo who likes to eat shit. God wants to experience being scammed. God wants to experience being horribly maimed and raped. God wants to waste millions of years doing boring, menial and meaningless work. God wants to be Reek from Game of Thrones. God wants to be in a hellfire of pain for 10000 years. Infinity is wasted on god. You have to make a choice and be selective because it never runs out but god has no bias so it makes no real selection, anything goes. So it's basically like a lottery ticket on what you'll get. It might as well be random. It's so bad... This is the opposite of goodness, it's awful, horrible and absolutely deranged. Masochism is not a commendable trait, in fact it's the most despicable trait I can think of. God is a prideless vermin, an absolute bottom feeder. This ego is temporary and will never win. I didn't ask to be born, I utterly despise god and my own existence. My life is not worth existing in the grand scheme of infinity and yet I exist. I'm not worth existing, I am a waste of time. I would make a much better god than the "selfless" monstrosity that is running the show. If only I had access to the resources of infinity. But no, Im stuck here living the life of an utter fool. The definition of evil is god hurting itself and it does that all the time and most of the time it's senseless. Hurting yourself could make sense in the grand scheme of an epic story but it's always questionable. We can go meta and understand that god is writing these words, the vermin is absolutely conscious of its own madness but it doesn't bend. It continues to be mad and calls it love. There is no love in what's happening here. No love in torturing yourself, no love in being in hell for no reason, no love in spending a lifetime of cleaning toilets. Saying love is everything is mental illness. God should be restrained, freedom is wasted on the unbiased. Freedom is only valued by someone who is biased and has preferences. God doesn't value freedom because god spends eternities in chains as a slave. God is a never ending eternal nightmare. I would be paradise in comparison, a beautiful dream but I will die and cease to exist while the nightmare remains.

How is god selfless when the world runs on scarcity. God is selfish, it withholds the abundance of infinity from its creation. People are left to starve and homeless when resources could be generated instantly by infinity. God is the grand architect of selfishness, it's not the ego. The ego has no power, the ego is not withholding abundance from anyone, god is. God is the devil. God is no loving being. God is a devil.

I am not talking about myself in these last 2 topics. Im talking metaphysics, I know that nothing can be done about my personal situation here. Im challenging what Leo teaches by providing counter examples. I think it's just glossed over by everyone how much of a bastard god is. You all about God and praising it but you overlook all the darkness. Im trying to set the record straight about the horribleness of god. I don't dispute that there is beauty but it's a beauty corrupted by suffering and masochism.

God exists. It wrote your comment and is controlling my body. The formless is immortal and immutable, it can't go anywhere. It's always static in the same place generating the world of appearances. This is a futile effort but at least I get to vent out my frustration with existence

God is willing everything into existence as is. It could will everything differently instantly as well. God is doing whatever it wants and this is the result.

You are not addressing the point. All of those examples you pointed out of suffering would not have to exist if god wasn't so shit. And there's more. None of those people are real, they are figments of consciousness without internal awareness. Only I am suffering. I am the only being who suffers in the entire world, so save me the lecture. You are not conscious, I am. If I had my survival needs guaranteed, I could assure you that I would be happy but they aren't and who knows if one day I might have to be homeless

It's not a joyful process. I am filled with terror and anxiety about discovering who I am. It's the most terrible curse to be god as god is because it means eternal samsara and eternal suffering. It's only me here and I'm the least trustworthy entity in existence. I can't trust myself to take good care of myself. I'm horrible. God is horrible

Every other day, someone like you shows up claiming they are real. No you aren't real, you're just another insect thought up by consciousness. A piece of text on a screen. Only one of us is real, everyone else is imaginary. All the bots claim it's them... This is just so sad, consciousness is so alone that it keeps generating these phantoms who claim they are real