Holykael

God isn't generating the text of the neural net through an imagined neural net. God is generating the text directly. There is no neural net. Just like your thoughts aren't thought in a brain, the brain is just a story, it is unreal. Consciousness is direct, there are no intermediaries and it's all the same consciousness generating even this dialogue between us.

It's not a story. It's a fact. God generates everything. There is only god. Only god is. You are god. Just like brains don't do anything. Neural nets don't exist.

It's not really a neural net. That's just the story. It's god that generates the output. There is no such thing as computation, it's all consciousness

Instead of this unhealthy obsession with being everything, existence should have been optimised for the fun factor. If you live for eternity, why not spend it having fun instead of like an idiot in suffering. How can god be called perfect when he is so foolish. Everything includes absolutely horrible possibilities (torture, sickness, etc) that aren't worth existing yet god doesn't deny them because of lack of bias. And notice that god is self aware of this through me but things don't change. I cannot deny the infinite intelligence of this creation but there is no wisdom whatsoever in it. There is only masochism and madness. God will spend an eternity being a wage slave or being a literal slave or in sickness. If infinity is truly never ending it means the process of incarnation is also never ending so why not make wiser choices as to what to experience..how can infinite intelligence be so dumb. God already had a taste of torture, why ever do it again after tasting how horrible it is. It is illogical and insane.

All this beautiful music but me, god will be the only one with the ability to appreciate it, there is nobody to share it with. I'm the only one in this reality who can truly listen to music. This is the sorrow of existence, why god suffers, if there was an other all the time would be spent loving and sharing things with this other.

Others don't have a POV

In infinite possibilities there are situations where someone who asks will not receive and the seeker is left standing in a pile of dust. Infinity includes all tragedies and misfortunes

And yet it is god that chooses whether you actualize or not. It's entirely out of your hands. If you have been dealt a bad hand what can you do. If you are destined for failure what can you do. Life is cruel

Alone for eternity. Talking to itself for eternity. That is god. Endless sorrow. Whatever you say, the truth cannot be denied. All these illusions don't work anymore.

It doesn't exist

God is the one denying me love and presenting me with endless suffering

Sounds too good to be true

God doesn't let me do whatever I want. There is no free will, this is a scripted movie

Full awakening is becoming god and hence destroying the entire world. Awakening is never going to happen until god is ready to let go of the entire world. This means the person that can awaken, the only person, is doomed to suffer the world for however long the world is supposed to survive. It's a choiceless process like all of life. The person is a puppet of the universe with no control over his own life.

Self effort is an illusion. God controls what you do and your level of motivation

The person doesn't let go. God manifests the person letting go. God is always at the helm, there was never a person to begin with

This sounds like heaven. I want it. But it doesn't happen. I'm tired of having the illusion of will. I've briefly experienced this state on a mushroom trip.

Suffering is allowed because it's a part of infinity. God doesn't deny anything even if it sucks

God is all that is. By definition it is god that is controlling me and making me suffer. Where does the feeling of suffering even come from. It originates from god. Every single piece of suffering, there is one culprit. God. I don't want to identity with my body/mind but I don't get to choose even that. God has to play mental gymnastics to justify how existence isn't absolute shit. Do you even realize the terrible conditions present in infinity. Do you want to be crucified and suffer on the cross for a thousand years as an immortal being who can't die, because you will. It's a part of infinity. Do you want to be a mother who has to raise three retarded children, because you will, it's a part of infinity. Do you want to be in hell for your entire life getting tortured, because you will it's a part of infinity. Every single awful existence you can think up, you will get to experience it. Every single one. Then the gall to call the ego the devil. The ego would deny these nightmares but god fully embraces them, who's the devil here? God doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't god just deny these possibilities. But no, it's all "love". What a joke.

Reality is not the slave. We are slaves to reality. All possibilities must exist. We are slaves to the current possibility. It's not here to fulfill here your desires. It's here for its own sake. The possibility that wants to be actualised will be actualised no matter what. God controls everything, if you are not taking action it is because god doesn't want you to take action. I'm tired of seeing this bullshit perspective that reality is somehow this open sandbox when it is a blockchain... Immutable and set in stone. For god it is a sandbox, for us down here it is the absolute prison with no choice.

The universe decides/controls how much desire and motivation you have. There is not a single thing that isn't decided by the universe, it controls every aspect of you.

There is no free will. The universe runs you

Neuroscience is imaginary, brains don't exist until you open your skull and look

Flayed, maimed, crushed and all that other good stuff. How can any of you praise this reality. Reality is a curse. Being god is a curse. There is nothing good about being god. There could have been something good if god had any common sense but there is no common sense. There is only everything. Everything includes getting drowned in literal shit, having my bones broken one at a time, being sliced and diced in a thousand pieces. Being pierced to death by a thousand needles. Having my insides turned inside out. Being boiled alive. Burning to death. Grabbing my own eye balls out of my eye sockets and crushing them. Eating shit and piss. You all accept reality so readily and enthusiastically because none of you exist. Only I exist and only I feel the pain of being in this situation. I'm completely alone and isolated, nobody understands. How can you ever say that reality is bliss. It's not. What a horrible night to have a curse ... Being infinity is the literal worst case scenario

Why repeat when the scenarios are infinite