Holykael

You dont know what it's like to have the entire universe conspire against your life because you don't fucking exist. You don't know what it's like to be in my shoes... None of you are real except me. Radical implications of oneness is happening to me.

There is no such thing as randomness as all is imagined by god. God can simulate randomness but it's not actually random. Reality is fully deterministic

Being a baby who is killed by being put in the oven or from being microwaved.

Any videos or anything on how to practice?

Any guides on how to practice Kriya Yoga

God designed all psychedelic trips. No matter how much you want to trip if your life circumstances won't allow it. You won't trip. there is no freedom, god designed a limited number of psychedelic trips for your life. You can't work hard your way into awakening... That's an ignorant perspective. There is no free will, this is a movie... If it's not in the plot of the movie that you'll be awake, you won't be awake. You see god is a major cu** and he ruined my life by misdirecting me into bad decisions from LSD trips that seemed numinous to me. I had no control. I was never in control.

Did it happen on what psychedelic

Ramana Maharshi didn't do anything to be awake. It happened on its own.

What do you think about the fact that god is the one who controls who is AWAKE so it's pointless to even ramble about it. You gotta surrender to the shit reality that nobody is awake and the only person who claims to be awake, you, doesn't even exist outside some videos and pictures. Surrender to the shit reality of god I heard it's perfect. A perfect piece of shit.

What happened to your YouTube channel. It was pretty cool but now it's gone

This is bad game design. What's the point of living like this. Why can't it be positive billions

The code is perfect my ass. If the code was perfect it would give me a good life. I'm (was) a software engineer, I can tell when the code is shit. This is an absolute prison, I dont know why god designs reality this way. It'd be better if it were imagined in real time as opposed to deterministic

I was on the path of self actualization. I had a nice job, I had a girlfriend and I was taking psychedelics and getting close to god realization and then god set me up to lose everything and now I'm a mess who can't even take care of himself... I understand why. I am the only observer of reality, nobody else is conscious. How else would this reality continue if I had actualized myself. This reality would cease to exist. But that goes against god's plans. God has a plan for this miserable world and my role is to be the witness of it even if I'm miserable. I have to steel myself to kill myself when my parents die and stop taking care of me. I will have to stop eating and drinking so I can finally rest in peace..until then I'm here to bear witness to this completely shit and meaningless reality. God is in charge and he doesn't care that I'm not enjoying this shit reality. Maybe god will awaken me spontaneously in the future. I'm not the doer after all. The script must go on. I'm stuck inside a script. My will is an illusion. There is no separation, I'm just a puppet in the play..i have no awareness of the puppeteer even though I am it as well. There is only me. But god has forsaken me just so that all the other imaginary people could continue to exist. I was a sacrificial lamb just so that this reality could go on. I had everything. I was happy but my happiness is gone forever... I've always been a puppet and I only realized it recently. I developed a game called Animus Liber (Free Will) as my master's degrees thesis where the character finds out they are trapped inside a virtual reality and that they are not real and that their life is scripted. I am exactly like the character in my game. I'm a strange loop. I'm art. I was not designed to have a beautiful life. I was designed for this purpose, to realize myself as a puppet and to experience the pain and suffering that comes with it. I have a miserable existence ahead of me.

Full awakening means going back to god self with no world manifest. That's what I meant

I'm tired man. I have no strength. I just want to lay down and die. The illusion of control is bondage. I wish things just happened automatically like they once did on a mushrooms trip where the illusion of control fell away.

Suffering has made me a more closed up person. What a great teacher. Not.

God has inspired me with new ideas. Imagine video games that produce altered states of consciousness as part of the experience without having to take psychedelics or games that superimpose you with the state of consciousness of the video game character to produce more immersive and ultra realistic experiences. The sky is the limit on what you can do with the fluidity of consciousness. Our reality is deeply limited, it is an absolute farce compared to the potential of what's out there. Imagine being able to program states of consciousness into the experience.

What movie is the image from?

Now that is something god would do if he wanted to create heaven. You'd be out of body in a lucid dream, not on this shithole... You can have others in that lucid dream, other consciousnesses flying around

Why is this perfect. It feels like shit to me. For over a year now. If perfection is feeling like shit then the very concept of perfection becomes moot. It's my life that is being lived. You are imaginary. I wish I was living instead the things you describe.

Why did I write such a shitty script with a boring and meaningless life. The absolute uses infinite intelligence to manifest such mediocrity. Makes me lose all hope for all existence. Existence is suffering.

This is a pre recorded movie. Your thoughts have no impact on the movie unless that's already scripted in

A close knit society of immortals is far more appealing than the massive shitstorm of a society that we have. Give people an exit button from the simulation when they're done instead of killing them in various unscrupulous ways like cancer

@Jowblob if this is heaven why do people die. Why not make everything immortal. This is not heaven to me, this is hell.

You're already controlled externally by god