G_A_L_E_X_Y

The first time I hit changa, I slumped over like someone had flipped my power switch. Then I was in the presence of a council of 3 or 4 “ancients” huddled together. One turned to the others and said, “well, he’s here.” Then the next said, “yes, but he’s uninvited.” The third said “We can at least show him beauty.” Then bodily awareness returned and I was given a spectacular show.

Congratulations! I quit a few months ago and I feel the same way. I was taking around 12 - 15g a day for about 4 years. A very good decision indeed.

Dear Razard. Love you.

I am so filled with love reading this entire thread. All of the comments and replies. Thinking about the planet, the mouse ? I am legitimately distracted by overwhelming love to fully appreciate all of this. I have been in this “state” for a short while now since I had my last breakthrough awakening. Anyway, this feeling of love is so much fun that I have to stop typing so I can just drink more of this ambrosia. I will come back to this more seriously in the future I’m certain, but for now - I love you all. Thank You Leo for this beautiful doorway of love.

“Enjoying the process” is only sustainable the more One is able to “see through” all the maya. The separate self is attached to its suffering. It holds on to the sources of suffering as parts of the contracted identity, part of the story. The more you awaken, the less it becomes “a process” and the less it even becomes about “enjoying” things. What I mean is that the true Self accepts life and life moves in and through the Self with equanimity of acceptance and love instead of looking at separate events and labeling/judging them. Should we enjoy the process more? Yea sure, it can be good advice for people at certain stages, but understand that awakening doesn’t just make this act easier. IMO the lightness of being experienced in the absence of suffering is what one truly enjoys as the illusion drops away. It’s not that hardship CANT be enjoyed, it’s just that the whole thing is flipped once awakening is the case. Sorry for rambling. I’m not trying to be nitpicking btw, I just want to help and to inspire more contemplation and perhaps lift each other. Thanks everyone for your words.

This practice, these glimpses. I can’t imagine anything else being more “important” than this. That’s a silly word to use. But yeah, it can be terrifying. For anyone feeling a small seed of fear, just remember that nothing lasts. It’s all just appearances and stories and nothing sticks to you. Love you all

I love @Razard86 - every time I think about responding, I look and it appears “I’ve” already responded with exactly what I intended to say. Hell, it’s better than what “I” would have typed. ? thank you for allowing me to stay quiet most of the time. ?

https://youtu.be/YhRybYyrNaI this whole album is insane.

Your descriptions of the dxm experience are dead on, 100% accurate. I used to feel bad for having done so many trips with it in my teenage years, but I don’t feel like I have lasting damage. I think the drug that took me the longest to feel fully recovered from was Lyrica. Anyway, dxm is weird.

The “pure stuff” is just as heavy and taxing on the bodily system as dxm found in otc drugs, maybe more so. While the risk of overdose is extremely low with pure dxm, the vomiting and sickness are not really worth it when viewed in contrast to something like shrooms or acid or k. DXM has its own realm that it takes you to, but it’s not for everyone and it’s not always fun.

I posted a long response in the other dxm thread a couple weeks ago or something. It is a strange drug. Hard on the body. Not extremely beneficial. Quite strange.

FWIW - I recently got some sulbutiamine for the first time in about 8 years just to try it out again since I remembered it having a positive impact on my reading and memory during professional school. Long story short - I can’t take this stuff ? I forgot how bad it makes my pee smell AND - on top of that - I get this intractable bitter vitamin taste in my mouth and I can’t make it go away for hours and hours. Has anyone else experienced this? The only thing that ever made my pee smell worse was Adrafinil. Makes your pee smell like industrial solvent ??

As a INTP, I concur. ?

I thought the latest video was really great. I understand why it could be troubling for people. No doubt. As others have stated, I think that’s exactly why the disclaimer is posted at the beginning. Going back over the video today I was thinking about why that message was just not offensive to me (I first listened that same day all the way through mostly while in a 190° sauna, wow. [I had a cold water cooler with me]). Maybe it is because it is so fresh on my mind because of the long post I made regarding my history with DXM, but I think that may have something to do with it. Though I still don’t recommend dxm because I think it is kind of dirty and not very enlightening, one big thing it did for me over and over was convince me that I was going to die then and there and I HAD TO accept it peacefully. The funny thing is this was never terrifying or bad, but it was very deep and real maybe the only lasting impact dxm made on me. When it comes to grabbing hold of the terrifying aspects of reality, I can at least see something familiar beyond the threshold.

In my teenage years I experimented probably 100 times. I used a few different forms. We did extractions after feeling pretty much poisoned by OTC methods. Different otc methods always started out ok (first couple of times) but then the body would get wise to the game very quick and would violently reject the new poison. Then we got ahold of some “pure” powder form. I am almost certain it was fairly impure, but then again, dxm is not a clean feeling drug. Anyway, I took it as seriously as a teen can take an otc psychedelic experience. One funny thing- I never had a bad trip on dxm, though some trips were FAR more visionary than others and some were filled with multiple vomiting sessions and extremely strange imagery. It was wholly different from what I absolutely recognize as a bad trip on the usual stuff. DXM was great at letting me see through the eyes of other beings, but the normal experience was that I would just spiral endlessly into an amazing visualization based on the music I was listening to. I once experienced a prolonged 2D flattening of the visual field. That was really odd. I experienced timelessness quite a few times. One time my brother and I had both dosed and were peaking, laying on recliners on opposite sides of a huge living room. Somehow we joined each other in the same fantasy. A giant white space with a narrow bridge over infinite depth. There was a significant gap in the middle and he and I were on either side looking at a whirlwind of gray dust and light growing stronger and louder by the second. All the sudden the intensity reached a peak and we both shot out of our respective chairs gasping loudly exclaiming and asking if we saw each other in the vision. Truly amazing. The experiences were mostly darker and more brooding and strange, rarely beautiful. Sometimes kind of twisted. The more pure the dxm the more I got crossed eyes. I could literally talk for hours and hours about it but truly to me it is not ideal for consciousness work. It’s great because you can remember the experience very well and because I felt like I had to completely accept the possibility of death quite a few times, but not so great in some ways. It’s all mystery and no revelation. Literally. Not always a bad thing but not very useful. I got to the point where I could no longer take dxm even for therapeutic cough purposes hahahaha for clarity sake I had all sorts of other experiences throughout these same years but none as frequently as dxm and I didn’t go very profoundly into any other territory. It was probably something to do with the dissociative aspect of the effects and my shit growing up From age 21 to 28 I had zero psychedelic experiences and I was totally absorbed in a culty Christian church despite all my cool visions/experiences, thus I feel like the dxm impact was not so stupendous. After those years I began asking questions and reconsidering the nature of those odd experiences. Once I had departed those sillier paths I embarked on a more traditional psychedelic path (along with other consciousness work) and now it feels like almost everything is a chamber of holy light compared to dxm. Again. It wasn’t bad but I guess sometimes you don’t realize how dark things are until you see the exquisite light. Though I had my strongest, most prophesy-like visions on dxm, there are moments, split seconds even on other substances that were able to untie knots in my mind that I figure were just part of existence. I don’t recommend dxm. It is weird and you can learn more and a lot more quickly from other substances, but there is something to be said about traversing a strange land, looking through the eyes of strange beings and then not even beginning to understand said experiences until something else comes along and unlocks your consciousness years down the line. ??‍♂️

Jesus, the OP here is so good. Thank you. Mmmmm infinity. Everything is here.

Desire is funny like that. The belief arises (within the ego) that somehow things could unfold in a better way than our conception of the past have, a better way than where the ego believes they are headed. It’s all imaginary and not grounded in the moment. It’s ok. God is awakening, not you, and not the ego. We love you. We are you.

Because of my daily work, I have to interact with and be really present with many many people each day who are often in pain and call me by a special title and it can be the best and the worst just like everything in our experience. For years I put up a false front of being extremely extroverted and needing outside input as a part of who I thought I was/am. After years of work and many layers of realization, my daily responsibilities in this sphere have not changed, but the weight these interactions and expectations carry is absolutely nothing compared to before. The only weight they have is what I give them because I want to make sure my children thrive and that I don’t unnecessarily add suffering to their experience nor my role as their provider. Nowadays I don’t see myself as extroverted at all - I don’t NEED others to help my ego feel alive. That being said, I have no choice but to accept the beauty of interaction with all of these crazy fragmented figments of god every day. As a provider I get relief the more I actualize the truth of oneness and no-self. I can walk in and look at “problems” so clearly when it literally has nothing to do with the story the little me. So yeah I say all this to hopefully shed light on the fact that these same realizations that make some people feel the need to isolate are the ones that free me to be a transparent, care provider. One time I dreamed I was a intangible ghost caring for my patients, and it was beautiful. I pass through life and life passes through me and yet I can be a channel for relief.

In the drawing, only the drawn ? I’m being silly. But I do agree. Centerless oneness.

If I look back at my life, following and believing the story as a process of causally linked events and so forth, I would say without a doubt that I was FUCKED until I was made aware of oneness. Whatever progress I have made in my experience of oneness over the last couple of years seems to have allowed me to shed many burdens. Daily, I see patients in a context that is often draining and discouraging to the separate self. When I began shedding my small self, my experience with “others” was relieved of it’s weight and illusionary pressure. I have memories of my first time watching this episode of Leo’s. I recall it was a very fortunate time when my family went away for a month and I was left alone to go to work, come home, and contemplate. And while all of these memories are just flickering figments of imagination, a post-hoc rationalization of the self - the truth is that I experience gratitude and love at their appearing. And as you read this in the moment I pray all of your threads of attachment are unraveled and fall away. This truly is an incredibly important message.

I love this so much. Have you played with Mini-Dall-E? It’s nowhere near as impressive, but it is still a ton of fun. My friends and I got some hilarious results typing in the most random stuff for days.

Right? So goofy! Much goofier than I expected.

Questioner figured it all out. Guess it’s time to shut the forum down. ? ?

Very fun and poignant. I didn’t expect it to be so silly at times. I can see where that will pull some viewers out of the experience, but as a whole quite good. When the main character has to say “I love you” sincerely to Diedre as she is being attacked, it was such a powerful and beautiful metaphor regarding non-resistance and the embodiment of unconditional love. To me, much of the movie is about awakening to view life from god’s perspective and living without resistance, expectations or desire. But I guess at some point, if I am conscious enough, I see this as the theme of all reality hahahahahaha cheers everyone.

Yes it would seem so. I don’t have great language to explain this concept (please excuse this extremely rough sketch) but to me, reality is the first order dream built out of concepts within the framework of infinity and that is why it is so consistent and things “work.” And then our sleeping dreams can be thought of as second or third order dreams built out of the concepts existent inside of the finite mind. They fall apart easier and and are much easier to break free from because they are built inside of a pre-existing illusion. This doesn’t explain everything but that’s not the point. You know this.