UpperMaster

@RendHeaven thanks I've read some responses

This is going to be an important post: Over the past few years, my main obstacle or challenge that I wanted to overcome had to do with low Productivity. To tackle my low productivity, picked up Atomic Habits. I still remember the month I spent religiously trying to apply the framework proposed (cue, craving, response, reward) in the book. It didn't work. I picked up David Goggin's book "Can't hurt me". Religiously implemented tactics in the book such as accountability mirror, cookie jar etc. They worked with varying results. The Cookie Jar tactic involves you thinking about your triumphs, and feeding off that to believe in yourself more and accomplish the goal. This worked sometimes, didn't work other times. But when it worked it worked great, for short term goals. I picked up Relentless by Tim Grover, where he explains that you should use the image of the destination as a fuel. You should think of the end result, and deeply crave it. This didn't work I used habit tracker dozens of times This didn't work I tried dopamine detox I could never stick with it I tried all sorts of different mindsets/frames to get myself to work. The worked with varying results and weren't reliable to use always. One tactic that has consistently worked for me is leveraging my superstitious OCD. Superstitious OCD involves a strong compulsion to perform specific actions to prevent perceived bad outcomes, for example, flicking a light switch a certain number of times or avoiding particular clothing items for fear of something going wrong. It is completely irrational. I realized I could harness this OCD to boost my productivity. By convincing myself that something bad would happen if I didn’t take specific actions (e.g., “If I don’t study two hours every day, this will happen”), I’ve been able to push myself. The key is being specific, vague consequences like “failing an exam” tend to be overwhelming. Instead, I focus on manageable, concrete actions, that I can be compulsive over. The downside is that this method involves a kind of sacrifice, it relies on associating real discomfort or fear with not completing a task. But the results speak for themselves: using this approach, I lost 10kg in a month and have meditated for an hour a day consistently over the past week. Also idk how good it is for mental health. I decided to commit to meditation after trying Concerta recently. It gave me a glimpse of how it feels when your physiology truly supports focus. I hope to replicate that experience naturally through meditation—and for me, leveraging my OCD felt like it was worth the effort

I am socializing more with woman. I realise that when I am nice and give good, and kind replies rather than red pill push pull dhinsnigans and that they respond much better. I can’t comment on how effective it is in actually closing with a woman but that’s what I’ve noticed. I have so many habits I developed by listening to red pill. Interesting.

@mmKay Yea that really sucks but when I had a bottle like that id put the sponge inside bottle then use the back of a ladle to clean the inside. After a few uses u can clean using vinegar.

Whats the answer to this? I would say because you can't memorize teachings and learn them. Learning includes understanding the teaching + putting it in the context of your life. You can't do that if you're beaten with a stick forced to just brute memorize. A lot of people who memorize Quran dont even know what it means they just memorize.

I just want to say that I can deeply relate to what you're feeling. It’s tough to even take action because you're constantly bombarded with videos that strongly influence your belief system. I haven’t fully recovered from the effects of blackpill and redpill ideologies either. I think real recovery only comes after gaining substantial experience (which I don't currently have) that proves how flawed these beliefs can be. What helped me was the following: 1. Understanding Ideology Blackpill, in particular, is extremely rooted in confirmation bias. Its proponents actively seek out and highlight anything that aligns with their narrative. They use “studies” to back their claims, but notice this: these studies almost always focus on dating apps (where looks are often the only factor) or rely on poorly designed methodologies. I remember watching a video where a YouTuber cited a study where women were shown a picture with a character trait written on the back. He used it as “proof” for his ideology. But think about it, can personality and social skills really be communicated through a written word? The study itself was bizarre. Then, there are legitimate studies that highlight the benefits of looks. Of course, we know that looks are important. But blackpill creators leap from “looks are important” to “looks are the only thing that matters in life,” which is completely absurd. There’s also research on the reverse halo effect, which demonstrates how a good personality can make someone appear more attractive. And let’s not forget Robert Cialdini’s work in Influence, which shows how psychological tactics and behavior can significantly influence others. I mention these to encourage you to question blackpill ideas and understand that influencing people requires more than just looks, it also involves actions and behaviors. Studies in the description of this video: Also you can skim through the book Influence by Robert Cialdini. 2. Looking around you in real life When you attend a college lecture or go out in public, take a moment to observe the people around you. How many of the men in relationships are stereotypical “Chads”? You’ll find that most are not. Blackpillers often respond by claiming, “Oh, but you don’t know how good the relationship is, its probably bad.” But that’s purely an assumption. They don’t know either. I’ll share a personal example. A few months ago, I was so entrenched in blackpill thinking that when I saw a close friend of mine, who is objectively unattractive by blackpill standards, probably a sub-5 face confidently pull a stunning, beautiful woman, I dismissed it entirely. He’s well-groomed, has confidence, and knows how to carry himself. Catching myself trying to rationalize this away helped me see how deep I’d fallen into the ideology. 3. Look at people who are doing well that aren't chads Like the friend I told you about, he is conventionally unattractive but doing well. most people that are in relationships aren't chads. I’ve also been watching pickup content on Instagram. While not all of them are great, some have helped break my limiting beliefs about what’s possible. If you’re interested, I can share a couple of examples of people I found particularly helpful. https://www.instagram.com/dkdannyy/ https://www.instagram.com/itspolokidd/ You can also watch YouTubers like "Tykwondoe". He showcases pretty good game I think. If you do watch them, watch videos where they use game. I really think finding good wings could break my limiting belief aswell. That's what I am going to do some time soon. 4. One more thing, completely switch off any blackpill content. This was advice given to me by @mmKay, and it seriously helped. The problem with blackpill isn't just the videos, it's also the comments and the whole community that make you feel stupid for not obliging with the ideology. They shame you by saying that you're "coping" and bully you into swallowing their ideology. As I said, I am recovering from blackpill and redpill. It is my first ever experience of ideology. I am confident that with a lot of experience and success with woman I can overcome these toxic ideologies. Btw I do think looks are important in the sense that they can help a lot I think, but there's a whole lot of other bullshit that comes along with blackpill ideologies. I've seen ugly guys get woman. I know 6'5 chad that got cheated on. There's so much complexity in this. Don't be like me in the past and just dismiss it. Actually before I end, I would want to say that I still don't have a lot of experience like many of the other guys here. I'm just explaining what I did to take myself out of the ideology. I don't know with experience how much looks, status or game matter.

“Most fulfilling aspect of life is who your going to become by working your ass off to evolve and grow yourself, your gonna have to face your own deepest challenges and inner demons to actualise your full potential. Thats what makes life meaningful and fulfilling, taking on that challenge meaningfully and joyfully. thats like noble warrior going into battle.” Leo said this in one video, I think its really good.

Super important lesson I learned from Leo's "How to Avoid Getting Scammed, Cheated, Exploited Conned" video. He talks about the trap of Cynicism or being overly Cautious. He explains how despite there being many scams and conns, being overly cautious will prevent you from taking action and getting results. Taking action leads to you interacting with the world and getting back feedback. This feedback is essential, it will allow you to orient yourself to getting better results. Examples: Pickup: Pickup community is very grifty and scammy. But quickly dismissing everything in pickup and accepting that the only way to have sex with a hot girl is through having a good jawline and consequently deciding to do absolutely nothing is a mistake. Spirituality: Theres a lot of bs in new age spirituality. Doesn't mean realizing in god is impossible. Business: There's a lot go shitty business advice. Doesn't mean all business advice is bad. He explains how a lot of time diamonds can be found floating on shit. Cynicism will lead to you not taking any action, sitting around on the couch and criticizing anything. Sometimes taking action and getting scammed is better than taking no action at all. EMBRACE THE TRICKERY OF REALITY

Today my father asked me "What have you learned in the last year"? In a semi-sarcastic tone, implying that I am wasting my life. I thought about it for a second. I've gained the most life experience in the last year. I experienced so much failure, I've taken the most steps to progress in life, I messed up relationships and learned so much from them. I've learned more about psychology and philosophy, I've asked so many questions in this forum trying to learn. I quickly realized that it was so much. I replied I learned a lot, I gained a lot of experience learned more philosophy. My father basically gave a reaction ackined to "oh so you didn't do anything but bullshit". I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. Usually I would feel really bad because there would be some truth to it. Like when my mother points out my faults and failures, I would feel bad, because deep down I am currently not doing as good as I want to. However, my father's reaction just made me kinda upset not because he pointed out some truth. but because he has no idea what I do on a daily bases. he doesn't even know who I am neither is he interested in anything I am passionate about. He is a business man, he doesn't give a fuck about philosophy. I speak to a lot of people, I really hope the work I am doing here pays off. I don't see many people doing it, I pray it will all work good, I am really taking time here. Completely separate issue: My mother has also kept using statements that insinuate that I am shallow and manipulative in some way. She keeps doing that. Now I am really thinking on whether or not I have some bad behaviors. I will reflect on that in the soon. Another separate issue: I want to understand trump, maga moement and fascism more because some of my friends are involved in that. I got some info I will do research soon.

I have nothing intelligent to say, stay strong man, get better

No I haven't yet, I had a bunch of exams. I will watch it now that I've got the time. I am currently trying to understand your "How To Avoid Getting Scammed" video, I got to finish that first ahahaha. I'll get to it ASAP. Step by Step.

I completely forgot about him. Yea that's crazy. Like I said, I will try to debate, but I want to understand these issues for myself aswell.

@Leo Gura Ok I will go through Vaush and Destiny. Are there any specific books or documentaries that you recommend maybe? btw thanks man, I'm very tired of being politically oblivious.

Another thing is, we are teenagers. A lot of people I see going into the nazi movement are really young, I hope they grow out of it.

Okay I will look through destiny's work. I hope I can dismantle my close friend's dogma's, were different races and were best friends. Best person I know when it comes to actually being a friend, super kind and reliable. I know its sounds so weird but Im serious. At the least, I want to be able respond with well articulated responses, so it doesn't seem like I am on board with some of their ideas.

I know it might sound disempowering but even these questions (free will etc) have to be asked when doing serious philosophical investigation. And your right in many cases it leads to armchair philosophy which is why I said its required to be pragmatic in this case so you can actually put your life together and " put bread on your table and feed your kids" regardless of what the truth is.

I can think of two ways where chasing success requires you to let go of truth. When trying to achieve something difficult, near impossible, statistically unlikely, it seems that you have to hold on to self-belief no matter how delusional it seems. The reason I consider this letting go of truth is because if you were to do an honest assessment of whether or not you'll be successful the answer will be statistically no, and you'll derail yourself. Believing that you are the maker of your life and taking full responsibility of the results you get in life is needed for mass success. If you were to look at it truthfully however, there are so many things that just aren't under your control. Bottom line - You have to be somewhat PRAGMATIC to be successful. Pragmatism is not aligned with truth. Ps. I have no large experience dealing with success. I am writing this based on my experience listening to successful people. Please discuss.

Leo wrote a blog about pragmatism. Just because something works doesn't mean it's true. It's one of his best blogs. What Im not trying to say that truth isn't useful, I am saying that when trying to be successful you often must prioritize achieving success over investigating truth. Take the black and white example of Free Will: A pragmatist might say: "Who cares whether free will is real or not? Just assume you have it, it feels like you do, and it gets the job done, so go with it". To be fair, that's the right approach when trying to succeed. You can't be doing serious philisophical inquiry and build an amazing business at the same time. Its difficult. Reality isn't trivial. To understand it takes a long fucking time. So yes truth takes a back seat because giving a fuck about truth is just not resourceful in some cases. https://www.actualized.org/insights/the-trap-of-pragmatism Hope you get what I mean, if I misunderstood you let me know

Lot of things have happened since the last journal entry. I had an insightful meeting with therapist I tried concerta I realise that some of my “ambition” or need to prove others wrong is actually source of great pain for me. It hasn’t even helped me be any more productive. It’s just hate that I feel. I feel like it’s a source of great immaturity. This underlying desire to become better than people, prove people wrong is very strong and is the main reason I am in self-development. lookint back it hasn’t even led me to more progress, I just hate more, feel horrible. This is the first time I’m considering tackling this desire. It’s the reason I’m in self development, but I suspect it’s also one of my biggest constraints in actually developing. Edit: I feel that feeling right now. It's very very strong. I can see why I keep it there, it's so overpowering. I am not sure I can get rid of it I will be honest. edit 2: If I was focused I would capitalize on this feeling

Conditional. If you have health issues it's hard to be happy. I have seen this with people I love in my life (+Leo also addresses this). That's not to say you can't learn ways to be happy. I am very sure that people can develop some emotional mastery to help them become more happy more consistently. But if some conditions are not met, like having good health etc etc it's much harder to be happy. No apologies needed post makes sense. Welcome to the forum, we're happy you are here.

Does this work? How should you do this?

Perfectly described. Im surprised you took the time to understand the ideology well.

@NoSelfSelf I disagree with this. Or maybe I just din't understand this part of Leo's teaching. But 100% accountability can be dangerous. I had some traumatic experiences as a child, and for the longest time, I blamed myself for the experiences I went through. I told myself that I was responsible, that I shouldn't have associated with the people I did, that I should have enforced boundaries. This self blame just caused me infinite pain. In the end what helped me was recognizing that I was the victim in that circumstance, I was a child, I couldn't possibly know any better. If it was a younger child going through the same thing I wouldn't hold him responsible that's retarded, he's a kid he cant know better. I was a victim, and admitting that brought peace. And saying "you shouldn't blame yourself but you should take responsibility" seems to me to be just word games. Blaming someone is holding someone accountable for a result. It's the same shit. When someone betrays your trust, blaming yourself for it seems to be even more counterproductive.

wdym go back to the 1960s and reincarnate.

@trenton thanks for response! Cool how you had experience with this and found that radicalization actually doesn't help you. I think it's a bit more difficult when a close friend betrays you but I get it.