UpperMaster

Today was a special day. It was my first midterm this year. Micro 1 midterm 1. I went through this topic twice before. This was my third attempt. I have a good feeling about this one. Passing would be a confidence boost. Confidence in myself is what I really need right now. I have a math midterm in a week, which I am excited to prepare for and do well. I think I look forward to it because I felt confident in today’s midterm (I really hope I pass). I have a language test on the 21st aswell to November is super packed. Super packed. I hope all goes well.

David Deida preaches this mindset of giving to the world and not expecting anything back. To give without expecting to recieve. I am resonating with that message this morning. You can’t control whether the world you appreciate your effort, you can control whether or not you keep giving it your all even if the world doesn’t reciprocate for your efforts.

I used to despise the idea of destiny. Now I feel like it’s true intuitively. I think letting go and leaving it to my destiny is something I am forced to do. The more I contemplate, the more I believe in it. We actually don’t control anything things just happen. edit: main point I want to say is that the more I want to control things in life the more clear it is that life happens to me and I don’t control anything.

Just watched the video on how to be a man (advanced one). I thought it was very very informative. My notes: Be authentically yourself, embrace your femininity. Put your authenticity on the pedestal like how you put Hollywood masculinity on the pedestal. A real man brings the man into everything he does. Not all woman will like your authentic personality and that's okay. Authentic personality is what will attract woman. Neediness is the ultimate bitch repellent (Italy Maslow example) The activity doesn’t make the man. That man makes the activity.

I realize how it is a privilege to be able to improve. Some people can't afford to improve because their genetics or circumstance don't allow them to.

I think I have been trying too hard to be perfect and that prevents me from progressing naturally. I realized how it's important to see yourself as a human, and accept that your view of the world is partial, your logical capacities are limited and your point of view has several limitations. I think it's very important to embrace this instead of fight against it as it allows you to move forward in life without being too perfectionistic. I remember discussing with Leo on a thread, I asked him what would 1000IQ creature view human logic and ideas. He replied saying that we would look like rats to them. I think we keep forgetting the limitations of human rationality and we keep pressuring ourselves to be perfect and know all aspects of truth when we may be very limited. That's not an excuse to not try searching for truth, but still. I don't think being too perfect is a great idea.

I suspect that: Make sure to work as hard as possible Make sure your working on the right things Working hard should be accomplished first. This is because if you initially concern yourself with working smart or working on the right things, then you will use it as an excuse to not work as hard (from my experience).

If I could partner with Alex Hormozi that would be super cool

My mother showed me an old video of me presenting a speech. I was so talented. It felt like it was literally a smarter version of myself (although he was in the 7th grade). Like seriously, I am sure if you saw that video you wouldn't think of that kid as a future college fail. Yet here I am. My friends and my family have told me that I quit too easy and don't believe in myself. I didn't take it as seriously as I should. This was clear evidence (at least for me) that I had huge potential, and am squandering it by not believing in myself. The reason for this, I have a very strong suspicion is because I was friends with a textbook narcissist who made me despise every part of myself. I will never let a person dictate what I can or cannot do ever again. That guy really destroyed my self image completely, which lead to distruction of my health temporarily and also my process in life. If your reading this, I wholeheartedly believe that one of the biggest crimes one can commit against another is to devalue a persons self image to the extent to which they don't believe they can achieve anything, thereby destroying all possibility of self-actualizing and progress. I will never let someone commit that crime to me again. I will not doubt myself again. Please don't be friends with narcissists they will ruin your life.

I wanted to share this video. Intersex person with a penis and vigina who later turned into a guy with two dicks. For me what's astonishing is the fact that he seems confident and had sexual experiences which he can talk about. His game must be on point. If I was intersex I could totally see myself as becoming a victim and getting no ass. Additionally its interesting how he describes sex with men and woman. He says that he prefers sex with woman because they are 100 times more emotional, whereas men just want to fuck and evacuate. He does admit that having sex with men felt nice, but the emotional sex with woman was better for him. This led to decision to become a man in his teens.

I just cancelled a party idk if it was a good idea

Okay so this is what I will do: - Learn drop shipping basics. - Get a product and use the framework used in Alex Hormozi 100 million dollar offers. - Use 100 million dollar leads to advertise the product.

I'll go ahead with business. One thing that's definitely motivating is thinking about the opportunity cost of committing to business. Because I am committing to business, I have less time to contemplate truth, less time to perfect my game. So I have to give it my all everyday because I am already paying for the time I am using to build a business.

I’m in a walk thinking about what area of my life I should commit to. Woman Business or Philosophy. their all very needed. Not pursuing each and any one of them comes with a price. Each area of my life comes with overcoming difficulties. I suspect that one of the reasons for why I don’t fully commit to one is because when I do temporarily commit I realise that it’s not that easy. No-matter what area in life I commit to I realise I can’t skip the pain and hard work. It’s unavoidable. That’s such a bitter pill to swallow. But this understanding is what is now forcing me to chose a path. I am currently convinced I should go for business. Simply because I am encountering a lot of people who are in business, I know people that are succeeding and so I have the environment to learn. Philosophy is the same, I can get that environment. I know a Ramana Maharishi teacher Micheal James who I can learn from. dating wise, I’m in uni so a lot of woman. But il be honest the amount of people in my city is small. So il probably need to save some money to go to bigger cities. each path is hard, I just gotta pick one and stick with it.

I also got in contact with my university therapist. Maybe it will help me with some of the struggles I face in life.

My mom gave me a speech about how I keep self doubting myself and that’s why I’m unsuccessful. She gave me such a speech before but this one hit different. Additionally I feel like I need to ground my life on a goal. I have to make a decision. What will I focus on, and just focus on that. Is it dating. Business. Philosophy. There’s drawbacks to not pursuing any one of them but I must decide and stick with it.

@Davino I appreciate your appreciation

I need to get some ass asap, I can’t think of nothing else shshshs fuck

@Sugarcoat The two surgeries he got, watch the vid dawg. One I think he already had, the other was almost complrelty artificially created from my understanding.

another video

I see self-improvement as having two modes: enhancing the quality of how you enjoy what you already do or working to change external circumstances. I've been focused on the latter, but maybe shifting to the former would be more beneficial for me.

I started meditating in efforts to try to fix my ADHD. After a meditation session today, I had a few moments of more presence. I realize that Im so unpresent naturally and I am emotionally too volatile. I'm in my head too much and am going crazy slightly. Im not grounded at all.

Who's Dan Joe?

Instead of asking whether or not I can do something, maybe I should ask what is the best decision I can make. And just focus on doing that.

I keep trying to look for answers outside me. I am starting to stop this habit, and am looking more inward. I really think this is a positive change.