UpperMaster

Hey everyone, I wanted to get your thoughts on something important. Do you think it's beneficial to learn from spiritual teachers and mentors? I'm asking because I've been reading David Deida's work, and it feels really genuine and in-depth. I connect with a lot of his insights, which I don’t often find with other spiritual teachers. I even checked out his website and found a "Teacher Training for Men" he's hosting in March. I signed up to get more info, and the tuition is $7,500, which is a huge amount. I can't quite tell if the price is justified; he seems to be one of the best in his field, and I know that some business coaching costs even more due to the value provided. Also this isn't a regular training this is training for Teachers. So there's already a high barrier to entry. So, I’m curious—do you think an event like this is worth it and safe to attend? Another thing that crosses my mind is my uncle’s experience with a prominent spiritual teacher, Mata Amritanandamayi. He was very close to her organization, and they stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from him. I can't disclose how or why because I don't know, no-one tells me, and I didn't ask. But like that does scare me a lot, and I don't want to collaborate with corrupt organizations and people. I don't want to join a cult, I don't want to be brainwashed. I want to learn and grow. So, my question is: Are events like these safe to go to, and are they worth the investment? What are some precautions to take before learning from a spiritual teacher? ps: Im not planning to go to this specific David Deida event as its for experienced teachers I reckon. But I am interested in working with and learning from spiritual teachers in the future. So your important can be very helpful.

I feel incredibly emotionally unstable, with my mood changing frequently throughout the day. What’s most frustrating is how my worldview keeps shifting. In the morning, I see everything through a scientific lens, but by evening, I lean more toward spirituality, especially because I’ve had some experiences that feel supernatural. Then, the next day, I dismiss those experiences as mere coincidences. Later on, I adopt a materialistic outlook, where making money seems like the only priority, only to wake up the next morning convinced that making people laugh is what matters most. This constant change in values and perspectives happens every day, and I’m not sure why. There is a lot of evidence for this in this journal. It’s killing me inside lmao.

I struggle to have faith due to my own skepticism. I pray to god, the same way my parents do. I prayed to god for specific things when I went to pilgrimages and got them every time. It's actually crazy as they were very specific. But if I could always become hyper rational and dismiss it as "lucky". But I swear sometimes I feel like it's slight gaslighting. Reality is spectacular. How is this anything but magic. Or maybe science is right and I'm just imagining things. Possible. But swinging from one perspective to another constantly feels very unstable and really hurts emotionally.

I'm so unhappy thinking about truth, I am so unhappy thinking. Thoughts seem to be just random motion. Sometimes I am optimistic and the world seems fine, sometimes I am pessimistic, and I find every negative "fact" about the world to drag me down. My thoughts don't seem to bring me closer to truth or success (as I change my mind about things on a daily basis). I just feel like I am going in circles, and it's killing me inside. I can't seem to enjoy anything, even though I have many things to be grateful in life for. I want to do well in life. I want success. I want to understand truth but the emotional price to pay for all the debate and internal struggle is so much. Sometimes I feel like I am not getting anywhere.

I PASSED MY MICRO MIDTERM YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

This is stage orange redpill content but I think it slaps so I’m sharing regardless: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNecbp3br/ TLDR: Your attention is too valuable to focus on the problems and negatives, focus on the solutions and positives.

Fuck my ADHD il pass the test on Monday despite it.

I tried meditating btw and couldn't stick to it. Im not surprised but seriously I need help getting my life together and I don't think I can d it on my own. I've tried so many times but still didn't manage. I need help, I have a therapist appointment on Tuesday. I hope it goes well.

The reason why I am now more skeptical about spirituality in general because I value results in life and I know science can and has brought us a lot of results in the real world. The benefits of certain spiritual practices are much less apparent as that's a case by case. Whereas we have all benefited from technology. My mother did Reiki on me when I was younger at in worked. But it my head like I don't even know what to think anymore. Like I can name a coincidence but bro that's my grandma I don't think shed lie to me.

Today was me wasting a bunch of time. I started with the whole David Deida's teaching obsession. Some things he says touch me really really to my core I know he's right, but I always feel like my understanding isn't good enough to practice his teaching and that really worries me. Sometimes I think maybe all this spiritual shit is bullshit. Maybe physical reality is the only reality, and current science and materialism is right. I cant tell if I am wasting my time I also saw a quote by Robbin Williams which I thought was super insightful: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

I was minding my business, stressing about the upcoming exam. For whatever reason I started listening to the teachings of David Deida. I finally think I understand what he means by "relax into consciousness". He tells you to stop associating with your body, your thoughts and anything that appears in life as all of that is the feminine. What remains unchanged, that's consciousness. Recognize that you've been the same you ever since you were a child, even though all the cells in your body are different. That "you" that remains the same is consciousness. To focus on that consciousness and identify with it, and then relax with that identification is what I believe he means by "relax into the depth consciousness". Damn I thought I would love to learn from him. I went to his website and he's holding a training on March. It's like 7k. Idk that's a fuck ton ahaha.

Today was my best friend’s birthday, so a few of us planned a surprise for him. At the gathering, we smoked some weed, and I ended up talking to one of his close friends about business. The conversation didn’t feel right, though—he kept pushing his opinions, like he was more focused on impressing me than genuinely sharing ideas. I like the guy, but this chat was off. Maybe it was partly because I was high, but everything he said felt like he was showing off his knowledge rather than connecting on the topic. I found myself reacting with a bit of ego, too. His vibe even took me back to high school days, full of subtle power plays—he’d ignore me at certain points, and his first greeting was a passive-aggressive “how are you, little man?” I don’t know why, but I have this radar for people playing these social games, and it really irritates me. I want conversations to be real, not this constant back-and-forth of proving who’s better. The whole experience made me think about how pretentiousness gets in the way of true self-improvement. It reminded me of a period last year when I was studying for a math exam. I’d decided to stop comparing myself with everyone else’s progress and just focus on my path. I told myself motivation doesn’t matter and took things one step at a time, which worked—I ended up with a high grade. That’s what I want more of: genuine quality over talk. I don’t want to just show off; I want to actually be great. Cillian Murphy came to mind as an example of someone who doesn’t play social games and just lives authentically. He’s a fantastic actor who really seems to embody that approach.

I hate when people project an amazing personality, but when you get to know them they aren't super impressive. I hate fakes. I really like when you a person seems normal, but in reality they are super super impressive.

My mother always told me that you go to school to learn the art of learning. Once you master that art, you can pursue everything. I beginning to understand where she comes from

Damn I feel so much more confident. I don’t even know if I failed but the fact that I understood some things from the test makes me feel confident. i can see the value of true confidence, maybe if I take small steps then I can gradually take bigger ones. Maybe you can’t fake confidence, you build it slowly. But once you do it probably helps a lot.

Today was a special day. It was my first midterm this year. Micro 1 midterm 1. I went through this topic twice before. This was my third attempt. I have a good feeling about this one. Passing would be a confidence boost. Confidence in myself is what I really need right now. I have a math midterm in a week, which I am excited to prepare for and do well. I think I look forward to it because I felt confident in today’s midterm (I really hope I pass). I have a language test on the 21st aswell to November is super packed. Super packed. I hope all goes well.

David Deida preaches this mindset of giving to the world and not expecting anything back. To give without expecting to recieve. I am resonating with that message this morning. You can’t control whether the world you appreciate your effort, you can control whether or not you keep giving it your all even if the world doesn’t reciprocate for your efforts.

I used to despise the idea of destiny. Now I feel like it’s true intuitively. I think letting go and leaving it to my destiny is something I am forced to do. The more I contemplate, the more I believe in it. We actually don’t control anything things just happen. edit: main point I want to say is that the more I want to control things in life the more clear it is that life happens to me and I don’t control anything.

Just watched the video on how to be a man (advanced one). I thought it was very very informative. My notes: Be authentically yourself, embrace your femininity. Put your authenticity on the pedestal like how you put Hollywood masculinity on the pedestal. A real man brings the man into everything he does. Not all woman will like your authentic personality and that's okay. Authentic personality is what will attract woman. Neediness is the ultimate bitch repellent (Italy Maslow example) The activity doesn’t make the man. That man makes the activity.

I realize how it is a privilege to be able to improve. Some people can't afford to improve because their genetics or circumstance don't allow them to.

I think I have been trying too hard to be perfect and that prevents me from progressing naturally. I realized how it's important to see yourself as a human, and accept that your view of the world is partial, your logical capacities are limited and your point of view has several limitations. I think it's very important to embrace this instead of fight against it as it allows you to move forward in life without being too perfectionistic. I remember discussing with Leo on a thread, I asked him what would 1000IQ creature view human logic and ideas. He replied saying that we would look like rats to them. I think we keep forgetting the limitations of human rationality and we keep pressuring ourselves to be perfect and know all aspects of truth when we may be very limited. That's not an excuse to not try searching for truth, but still. I don't think being too perfect is a great idea.

I suspect that: Make sure to work as hard as possible Make sure your working on the right things Working hard should be accomplished first. This is because if you initially concern yourself with working smart or working on the right things, then you will use it as an excuse to not work as hard (from my experience).

If I could partner with Alex Hormozi that would be super cool

My mother showed me an old video of me presenting a speech. I was so talented. It felt like it was literally a smarter version of myself (although he was in the 7th grade). Like seriously, I am sure if you saw that video you wouldn't think of that kid as a future college fail. Yet here I am. My friends and my family have told me that I quit too easy and don't believe in myself. I didn't take it as seriously as I should. This was clear evidence (at least for me) that I had huge potential, and am squandering it by not believing in myself. The reason for this, I have a very strong suspicion is because I was friends with a textbook narcissist who made me despise every part of myself. I will never let a person dictate what I can or cannot do ever again. That guy really destroyed my self image completely, which lead to distruction of my health temporarily and also my process in life. If your reading this, I wholeheartedly believe that one of the biggest crimes one can commit against another is to devalue a persons self image to the extent to which they don't believe they can achieve anything, thereby destroying all possibility of self-actualizing and progress. I will never let someone commit that crime to me again. I will not doubt myself again. Please don't be friends with narcissists they will ruin your life.

I wanted to share this video. Intersex person with a penis and vigina who later turned into a guy with two dicks. For me what's astonishing is the fact that he seems confident and had sexual experiences which he can talk about. His game must be on point. If I was intersex I could totally see myself as becoming a victim and getting no ass. Additionally its interesting how he describes sex with men and woman. He says that he prefers sex with woman because they are 100 times more emotional, whereas men just want to fuck and evacuate. He does admit that having sex with men felt nice, but the emotional sex with woman was better for him. This led to decision to become a man in his teens.