UpperMaster

The title says it all. I've been completely addicted to porn for almost a decade. I don't know how to stop, I've been trying so damn hard. The most I went without porn is for a week, and in the height of my addiction I was jerking off on average six times a day (I was twelve). There have even been times when I have jerked off more than ten times. Two years ago, my addiction caught up to me, and as a result, after masturbating, I constantly feel like peeing. This heavily effected my sleep, because I just kept feeling like pissing, although my bladder was empty. I visited the doctor and had a urine test done, but it turns out I didn't have a urine infection. My symptoms have decreased, but still not gone. The symptoms did improve when I cut back on masturbating, but because of my severe addiction, this issue hasn't been resolved. YES, I've tried progressively jerking off to less porn, however I am unable to push myself after week 1 (If I am lucky to get there lol). YES, I've tried "forgetting about it and stop tracking", this does work best, but whenever I do get reminded I relapse immediate. Can someone please give me some advice here: What steps should I take to beat my addiction? Does anyone else have the same urination issue I do? Will it go away once I stop masturbating?

I can imagine this working but I am resisting cuz it has backfired on me. Already tried. I just got manipulated more. And the people that did seem to fold just returned to fuckin with me when they are in a group setting. This might be true idk man. I Ok yea defenitly. If your low value in general life is a bit more simple, there are less fakes, less parties, less politics. I guess thats a plus Overall good points, thanks

Thank you. Your right it is a loop, I'll just focus on my self for myself.

There are so many ways I mess up, even on a daily basis. (I can't believe I'm writing this shit down, I'm cringing at myself lmao) 1.Someone keeps putting me in my place in a social setting, usually through a joke. I am too stunned to say shit back. 2. I am shitty at talking to girls. This is very much tied to the next point. 3. In a group setting I over analyze my words and filter everything I say, making it hard for me to actually contribute to the conversation. You may then wonder why I haven't worked towards removing this filter. The truth is, half my class doesn't like me because of some beef I had with this narcissist manipulator who sort of fucked my reputation. Now whenever I am myself, and or make jokes, all the jokes get disapproved, not because their unfunny but because of my reputation (ik this because I have less problem socially with people I don't know). Anyway this sort of thing really put a filter, now I am always scared on saying some shit because I feel like it would be cringe or disapproved. This sort of disapproval is something I faced when I was younger and it hurts soo bad. I remember I went to a party, and the whole class basically just kicked me out. Like everyone was asking why tf I was even there. I think that really made me insecure. Generally, I am kind of not good at anything anymore. I have shit grades, which leaves me no time to do anything else other than school. This makes me feel like a failure ngl. So many other larger incidents that make me feel this way, not too comfortable with getting into them. I'm sure you get the idea though

Pisces I think

I'll give this a listen

Completely agree. It is really hard to let go, and I have a weird mix of confidence and insecurity. I'm naturally a very confident person, when talking to someone new I have no problems making friends at least. When I do mess up however, I criticize myself completely. There are significantly less fake people. Your right about that, thanks for reminding me.

This sounds like some school shooter or Elliot Rodger type shit, Yes, I do recognize this. I was concerned if whether or not I'm slowly turning bitter. Dw I'm not a school shooter lmao, I have created a pretty good base of friends, I just realised that I started having this sort of superiority complex because of a lot of shit that went down before. My reputation isn't the best, and I still am socially lower value. All this shit fucks with my complex more. Thank God. Ahaha

@BipolarGrowth Yes. I think so too, I feel like if I somewhat satisfy this desire, Il be able to progress more. Yea I am trying to build new skills, I'm slightly disappointed at the rate I'm doing so though. I might have a victim mindset, but man, it's hard not to be sad when people so easily surpass you. I'm much more mindful on the fact that status is short term for gratification. I just want to get to the point where I don't get disrespected, and am able to defend myself socially. Thanks a lot dude

Yes. Compared to most people, yes. I don't know how he looks from an elevated perspective. I don't think his life is that bad, Louis the 14th was ego maniacal, but definitely happier than a peasant. Low consciousness, indeed.

Hey, this is a serious question and is not meant to be a mockery of Leo or any other spiritual master. I've been contemplating the difference between insanity and enlightenment, as many people with mental conditions like schizophrenia seem to have very similar symptoms to an enlightened master. Leo has previously mentioned that there is a fine line between enlightenment and insanity (this was touched on in the duality series), but what is this fine line? I also came across a video on YouTube about a former Actualized.org viewer who first started watching Leo because he saw an alignment with Leo's teachings and what he's experienced due to his condition. He then stopped watching Leo, as he found that a scientific explanation for his condition helped him more. This is the video for context (yea he goes on a rant but that's not my point): So...What is the difference between the enlightened and insane? Let me know

Great author. I think I personally got into him way too early. I was badly manipulated by some guy, and I was socially naive as fuck back then. Started reading 48 laws, probably the first real self improvement book I've read. Didn't really absorb much, just because it was too advanced for me at that time. I think most people just read it, then move forward. In order to actually make use of the book, I feel like you need to take each law (or the ones your willing to implement), and practice it. I did read mastery then tho and it was great.

Ok, I'll watch that video then.

@LSD-Rumi Well, because both an enlightened person and a insane person can experience a sense of non-duality, a loss of separation. The guy in the video explains how he thought he experienced many of the things Leo talks about merely due to his condition.

What about this, lets say you take a psychedelic and you have visions, do you call them hallucinations or an enlightenment experience? Like you remain functional after the experience. I think I really started getting caught up on this. Some ppl on the forum say they had an enlightenment experience by just taking a bunch of mushrooms for the first time. Is that really enlightenment, seems like just a realization while high. If thats enlightenment, then contemplation could be enlightenment no?

Don't understand what you saying.

This I feel is very important. Very good point. I watch videos multiple times, and I encourage you to take notes and think through everything Leo says. This I feel goes for all the intellectual content you consume. You MUST make sure that your processing all the information you consume through your own mind, because only you can know how it applies to your life. This is of paramount importance. I think if you do this, it will be easier to categorize the information you hear. You will be able to get out the most important information that you can use.

@Magnanimous I think only Leo can answer this question. In general though, you'd only want to take in what makes sense for you.

Yes, but I also don't doubt that traumatic events can cause some depression. Like bruv, if you fighting a fuckin war, or your being exploited regularly it is natural to be depressed. Its just that many people in modern society use depression as an excuse to be complacent.

This is good to hear bruv. Yea I've had the exact same effect! On further analysis, I think the reason why it vanished very quickly is not because depression is not real, I think there are people that actually have depression as a genetic condition or depression caused by ptsd, but because the symptoms of depression and the symptoms of an individual that is low in the social hierarchy is the exact same. I think there should be a clear separation. Even doctors supposedly blindly give out anti-depressants just because you meet the symptoms.

This is most definitely a joke. But I'm not going to lie I can definitely see a whole lot of people blindly taking this attitude. If I saw this in the 6th Grade that's it, I would have become ultra misogynist. And lets be real a quarter is following is probs in middle school. So definitely thousands of kids prolly take mindset after listening to this.

Good for you. I think you set your standard high, so great! I feel like you understand where I'm coming from so I wont go around in circles. Narcissists don't enjoy relationships as regular people do so they just see people as assets/burdens and act accordingly. That's why it is easier for them to become materialistically successful. Spiritually developing might be a bit harder. That's it, enjoy your day.

Black and white enough to explain my point properly. No. That's besides the point. Never said anything about inspiration. I'm trying to explain to you that what 9/10 people deem as successful is material success and yes Stalin was incredibly successful.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I would phrase what he said differently. It is not that people that are in stage green or even yellow can't explore psychedelics and awakening properly. Rather that for most people, it is important to actually go through stage orange, and not just skip it. I feel that many people force themself to be stage green or yellow when they just aren't, that's where the problem is. I don't think there is any problem with being stage orange, and in my mind, I am really trying to explore this stage, so that I can properly transition to yellow, which is most definitely a better stage to be.

Alright yea this makes a lot of sense, thanks. I do have a doubt tho. Even though selfishness boomerangs, why hasn't it boomeranged for other extremely selfish people (like corrupt CEOs)? It seems like the most selfish narcissists are the first to live a better life, more successful life. There are so many evil motherfuckers that live way better than most people. Wheres the boomerang effect here? I have a feeling your referring to some sort of metaphysical consequence. What am I misunderstanding?