UpperMaster

Looks matter --> But Leo adopted the belief that it doesn't matter to do pick-up successfully. Sleep matters --> But to get over insomnia, you must stop believing its important (because then you put less pressure on it). Erection Quality Matters --> But putting it on the pedestal can stress you out and cause you to have erections issues. I am battling insomnia, and I have know I have to let go of my beliefs of how I think it impacted my health so far.. But because I put so much value on truth, its hard to give myself permission to do that. I seriously don't know what to do, on one hand I really don't want to lie to myself, but also want to overcome life's challenges which would be easier if I adopted certain beliefs. I feel like everyone will go through a situation like this, and I haven't heard any solutions on how to handle this situation well, so guys let's discuss.

Actually guys Leo posted a blog about this already and addressed this in a blog post, https://www.actualized.org/blueprint/limiting-beliefs I feel like in this article he even says " you take on a lot of negative beliefs about how the world works, or the concept of truth loses value for you, you will get in trouble at some point" How do you gauge, or is there a framework where I can concretely say this belief I should adopt despite the fact that it may not be true.

The past few days I've been thinking deeply and trying hard to live with deep levels of integrity. With the definition of Integrity: Coherence between what you think, what you say and how you act. We can quickly see how if you were 100% honest and with integrity all the time you wouldn't be able to survive and would ultimately die. Even basic survival necessitates some lying or omission. In any friendship or relationship, you chose to present yourself in a limited way for the best outcome, you chose to omit certain information to protect yourself (survival). I wasn't aware of how often I did this in my everyday life. By definition that is opportunistic and not integrous. The more I try to live with integrity as per this definition (I like this definition because it is operationalized), the more I realize that I would basically be slowly sacrificing my whole life.

Oh and one other thing. I've been talking with Chatgpt about this, and he always says "Integrity is not transparency", he sort of presents this argument where omitting information for the sake of a better relationship with a person is completely fine (provided what your hiding is not relevant). I also agree, that in many cases it is the wise thing to do, but that is not integrity, by definition that is opportunism because you are omitting information for the sake of your own self-interest. Maybe I am not articulating correctly, I just feel like social interactions necessitates presenting yourself un-holistically (especially when your not close to the person), so theres no way to be hundred percent integrous. If you were a hundred percent integrous with everyone you meet, you'll probably get ostracized.

Actually I changed my mind, I care about integrity but only to the point where it gives me positive results in life. Like I am willing to commit to high integrity, but mainly due to the fact that without it I couldn't really be able a super fulfilling life full of passion. Like I can recognize how lying and aligning your life with things that don't exist the worse your life gets because you have to manipulate reality more to sustain your illusion. But from what I understand, breaking the illusion after a certain extent makes life worse, because it will not only make it hard to survive, it might make it impossible to survive. I feel like going too much in terms the direction of truth, especially at the wrong time can be emotionally scarring and actually mess life up. Like I know probably dying for truth is the ultimate test, but I right now I wouldn't do that. I want to thrive and live a life of insane levels of passion, and integrity is tool to get me there.

Hi, just watched the video "What is integrity". I was wondering what the part 2 is called, can't seem to find it. The idea of developing integrity in my life has suddenly become very important. I feel like success without integrity isn't success at all. I realized that it is inherently something I value.

Do you have any resources on it so I can start developing integrity in my real life? I kid you not Leo, the idea of your work having real intellectual integrity brings tears to my eyes. It is genuinely beautiful, you should keep striving for that. The brave heart scene doesn't do it for me, when I want to remind myself about the beauty of integrity, I remind myself that Leo released hours of content for free online with such high quality never seen elsewhere, while he could've milked in audience for millions in different ways. Like it makes me fucking cry. Like I am tearing up writing this. I always knew integrity mattered from when I was a kid, but somewhere along the line, I figured that insane levels of integrity in life is somewhat of a pipedream. Your work is evidence that its still possible. Maybe I am putting you on the pedestal, but when I watched the three part science series, I couldn't fucking believe it was for free. That fills me up with so much belief, I can provide value like that aswell. I want to achieve success, but I want true success, if it isn't true, if it is done without integrity then it isn't even success because the advertised result is not even fucking real.

@lostingenosmaze lmao

Nah idk about that, if I was super rich I wouldn't be against doing somethign like this. Imagine how good he feels day to day.

Mark Manson wrote that practicing vulnerability (vulnerability: intentionally making your desires and intentions been known) is the gateway to being non-needy. I mean I think we can all agree that this is true, ofc practicing vulnerability will help us be more indifferent to people rejecting us. This is lowkey rejection therapy. but does this truly cure neediness? Like Leo says that you should actively create abundance in your life, then you will naturally be less needy and your abundance will grow even further due to non-neediness. Like I’m having several experiences..and am seriously trying to look through the lense of truth..what’s really true here? Please leave your opinions for discussion.

I don't think his take is as dumb as you say but I see your point. Mark also emphasizes in investing in yourself, and shows you exactly how to go about it. Investing in yourself also decreases your neediness. Also in the book he clearly states that neediness in any form in unattractive, even when it comes from vulnerability. So even if you beg outright that you need her, it is still unattractive. He says you tackle neediness through working on yourself (looks, lifestyle, status) and by practicing expressing your intentions clearly, aswell as therapy if needed.

Nice response thanks

yea see Im realizing this by going into the real world. I mean being vulnerable matters but like the technical skills matter too. A lot of your intentions, or emotions can get lost in translation if you don't know how to behave the correct way. I think your right dude.

Maybe your memories are not consistent but you get the feeling that they are. idk how to explain that well, but when I am dreaming, the present moment of the dream makes total sense in the context of the whole dream. After I wake up I realize how the dream was barely consistent, but I didn't know that while dreaming.

Hey guys, I am inexperienced and need clarification on whether or not you should share your personal dating history with a girl you're dating, to what detail and at what point of time? I've never cheated, but if someone did cheat in the past, when or should they even bring it up? I'm getting more and more experience by the day, listening to all the stories my friends tell me (both men and women). It seems like good things don't seem to come from sharing your past because if a relationship ended there is always a reason and it's rarely one sided..but at the same time it feels like it is necessary to build trust. I'm so fucking confused. It's driving me insane. I tend to overshare, but I am so scared to do so. Thanks for the replies in advance, Im so interested to hear your opinions.

Any other opinions? Does anyone support being open in the beginning?

Okay thank you. I appreciate this lengthy answer this makes so much sense. Appreciate this so much you don't know.

Happy Birthday Teach

I made out with a girl recently, she was drunk, I was sober. Met her through social circle. Her friends set me and her up. Her sister is super against me, main reason because I was sober and she was drunk, apparently thats like taking advantage or something. I had no idea this would be an issue, obviously my intentions were not to take advantage of her, I actually care about this girl. All my friends have slightly different things to say about this. Is it bad to get with a girl when she's drunk and your sober? When is it exploitative?

Is sharing emotions a turnoff, one of my friends has this as a number 1 rule. He says all women say they love when a man is emotional, but this is a HUGE trap. Is this true?

Thank you very much for your perspective on this matter guys.

If I were to scale drunk levell she'd be a 7, like she definitely wasn't like falling on the floor or anything. She was pretty drunk and in super horny mood. Also, I didn't sleep with her or anything, I just made out with her. Like wouldn't sleep with her, but I thought making out was competley fine, especially because it was appropriated by our friend-group. Then the next day, she brings up how that may have been weird, I I lowkey feel like Im being accused of doing smth wrong, it feels shitty. Like I didn't have any bad intentions so it felt weird defending myself. Also how many drinks would be too many drinks?

@Valach yea bro this is so tricky I had no idea there was morals attached to it so I was js like yooo this girl wants to make out with me lets go. I mean doesn't Leo go do pick up sober in nightclubs, usually the girl has had drinks right? Im super interested on when he would go for it and when he would not.

I am a Gen Zer, so I was just a kid when RSD and Mystery were popular. How big was PUA movement at its peak? PUA seemed to become very mainstream, with Mystery going on talk shows etc. How does it compare with today's looksmaxxing in terms of popularity? I mean, clavicular etc have become mad popular, everyone seems to be focusing on looks optimization now. Also, if PUA was last gen solution to dating and looksmaxxing is current gem solution to dating, what do you think will be the trend 15 years from now? I thought this would be an interesting thread to start..

Interesting convo you guys