mr_engineer

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Posts posted by mr_engineer

  1. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    The whole idea behind the point of 'don't ask women for dating-advice, only ask the guys who've done thousands of approaches', is that, the guys who have done it know how to hook women, when the women themselves don't. That's the only real difference. This is the value of a pick-up coach. Everything else is normal self-help stuff. 

    If you know how a woman hooks, just directly tell me. I'd much rather have that, than the 'Let me set number-goals for you, let me hold you accountable', stuff. 

    When guys ask you 'What's the good opener for me to use?! What exactly do I say to her?!' etc., this is what they're really asking you to tell them!! What hooks women?! I can understand you being critical of the attitude of 'wanting the right opener', cuz that doesn't exist, but this is what you're being asked for. And you gotta understand that. 

  4. Posted

    @something_else Yeah, but there are no instructors here. Most of the instructors are self-biased and you gotta create your own manual. Now what? 

    Imagine that the car is this mysterious black-box and you have to figure out how it works all by yourself, with no one helping you and everyone just saying 'The car just magically starts when you turn the key, it just magically goes forward when you push the accelerator', without having a framework of Physics behind it. And then telling you 'Why do you have to figure out how the car works?! Just drive it!! Don't worry about breakdowns, just go find another car! Yeah, you gotta work hard and save up to buy a new one, but we don't know or care about how cars work, that's too much theory/science. So, just do what all of us are doing here, which is to throw away a car that doesn't work, cuz we don't understand how it works'. 

  6. Posted

    3 minutes ago, something_else said:

    This is kind of flawed thinking. Most girls are attracted to the same fundamental things, and creeped out by the same fundamental things, just like you and almost all guys are attracted to tits and ass.

    In theory, yes. In practice, though, every individual woman is going to have a different definition of masculine 'strength', depending on the kind of role she'd want a romantic partner to play in her life. And this is going to be decided by her level of intellect and self-awareness. 

    For example, a lot of women who had assholes for daddies, their definition of 'strength', might be his ruthlessness. Or his willingness to say whatever is on his mind no matter how it makes the other person feel. And they picture themselves to be able to 'love them' enough to not be on the receiving end of that, while other people who she wants to be protected from, will be! So, this is what she'll subconsciously seek out. And, if a guy is being really PC and mindful of how others feel, she'll see that as 'weak'. 

    Is this a smart woman or a dumb woman?! And would you want to be with such a person? 

  8. Posted

    10 minutes ago, something_else said:

    This is the problem. Spending so much time analysing what is creepy is actually gonna make you more creepy. A woman doesn't hear about a man analysing how to not be creepy and think 'oh yea I want some of that'

    What do you want me to do, then?! Just 'act on my impulses'?! My assessment tells me that that's the way to be creepy. 

    If it were that simple, we would not be disagreeing here! I'm telling you, it's not. 

    11 minutes ago, something_else said:

    It isn't that you're dumb, not at all. Kind of the opposite. It's a common trap for smart guys to fall into where they get super theoretical and in their head about women while there are guys who aren't giving a fuck about any of this out there just taking action and slaying.

    Well, I do care. And I think it's dumb to not care. If you're telling me that they don't care about being labelled as 'creepy', no amount of success with women is going to repair the damage to your reputation that comes from that. Also, it's really hard without figuring this out. 

  9. Posted

    @Optimized Life The issue is that Leo doesn't talk about social-circle. And pick-up is just too hard unnecessarily. Thousands of approaches?! Seriously?! Do it if you're up for it, I'm not. I have more important things to do with my life than spend thousands of hours chasing vagina, as Leo said in his video critiquing pick-up. 

    If you want to do cold-approach, Leo's advice might work for you. I don't know, cuz I just don't want to do it. 

    My point with Hamza is that he genuinely understands the issue of social responsibility. It's not your stereotypical alpha-male stuff, it is genuine advice on how to have friends in your life. 

  10. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    @Optimized Life I guess I'm just dumb, then. It's never been simple or obvious to me. It's highly subjective, in fact. And I find it important to make sense of the context. 

    A lot of times, some behavior will be 'creepy' in one context and completely fine in another context. How do you tell the difference? What's the calculus behind that? Not so simple. 

    I'm looking for the exact root-cause in the behavior of a 'creep' that causes resistance in hooking a woman. This is important for the long-term too. 

  11. Posted

    A limit of this guy's teachings - He has no clue about how to make a romantic-relationship work. 

    He is really amazing and legit when it comes to teaching about masculinity and self-improvement. And his dating-advice is 100% ethical, his advice on making male friendships work is 100% ethical. He's just limited in the context of romantic-relationship. That's it. 

  12. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    As I was looking through my beliefs about sex, I discovered beliefs like 'Casual sex is degenerate', 'boning a girl in a club is degenerate'. By 'degenerate', I mean, indecent, or uncivilized. This part of me also judges women who objectify themselves as 'sluts'. 

    As I saw this, I noticed a pattern, collectively. That, most guys will treat a woman with respect when she's dressed 'decently', or when her body-exposure is not the most glaring aspect of her personality, even if she's in a bikini or something. But, when it is, when her body-exposure doesn't really go well with her personality or something, it's sexually suggestive. And, at the same time, there are a lot of 'nice guys' who are just holding themselves back because of societal standards. So, when they see a 'slut', their inner-degenerate comes out! And, their justification is 'she's being a slut too! She's also being degenerate. So, she's giving me the right to be one myself!' 

    And, this is what women see as 'creepy'. They reject a lot of these kinds of guys. And then, when they hear incels saying that 'women are responsible for me being single', they say 'stop blaming women', because this is the picture they have in their heads! 

    The guys whose inner degenerate shows itself in these situations, they're not even-keeled, steady or grounded. And this is what turns women off. 

    Thoughts? 

    Edit - When we talk about degeneracy, what should also be talked about, is that a lot of rape/molestation is on the far end of Stage Red degeneracy. This is why Stage Blue condemns degeneracy. 

  13. Posted · Edited by mr_engineer

    @Someone here Are you from India?! 

    I will let you in on a little secret about Indian women - style is everything for them. 

    Wear a leather-jacket, nice shoes, a nice belt, maybe a shirt. Try to look as cool and rich as you can. The female attention you'll get will skyrocket! You can insta-hook half the women in the room if you just do this. 

    The concept of 'leagues' is huge in India. If you're dressed like an average guy and the hottest woman in the room is dressed in a nice dress, the consensus will agree that 'she's out of your league'. But, when you dress stylishly, you're bridging this 'gap in leagues', so to speak. Then, all of a sudden, your status in the room will go up and the hot woman will see you as 'on her level', so to speak. Then she'll pay attention! It'll almost be relatable to her, because she'll see someone who cares about how you present yourself. 

    If you say it's shallow, I'll admit that it is. I'm not a big fan of it and I want to get out of here, quite honestly. But, if you just want to get laid, this is how you do it. 

  15. Posted

    1 minute ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    You can't rely on anyone in this world for your emotional needs, much less the opposite gender.

    I have found this to not be the case, I've found people I can trust. And you're advocating the opposite of that, which tells me that you don't want to be one of those people. Which is fine, just telling you about a reality you don't know about. 

    2 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    If I told you something like I can't live without men, you would tell me to grow up.

    You cannot live without men! You wouldn't survive a month without men. 

    2 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    Men and women are equal..

    Then why don't we combine men and women's categories in sports?! 

    2 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    I should need a man only as much as he needs me, not more. Otherwise there's a power imbalance, a codependency. 

    A power-imbalance is not codependency. You can choose which authority-figure suits you based on your needs. And you won't be codependent on any one of them. 

    3 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    Being so dependent on relationships is a sure sign for trouble.

    Life is relationships. You need to grow up. 

    4 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    Most people like that end up in abusive relationships because they can't think they can get away, they're stuck in thinking that they need it too much to live without it. It causes a person to become fragile and weak and totally dependent to the point that they start tolerating abuse just to keep the relationship. That's what codependency is. 

    The solution to this problem is to go out and find more people, have an abundance of people to depend on. Not to become independent. 

    4 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    There is no low self worth in self empowerment. In fact there is low self worth if you rely on others to decide your worth.. 

    In society, we depend on each other. That is the reality. And, believe it or not, other people decide what we're worth. That's what they give us. 

    If you decide you're worth a million dollars and if nobody else had that power, you could snap your fingers and you'd have a million dollars in your bank-account. Unfortunately, that's not how this works. 

    6 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    You have an egotistical stick up your ass. That's why I would simply avoid talking to you. You're using words like "lecturing to men" when I was simply suggesting. There's no point in arguing or debating you. You come up with shitty assumptions on someone's good intent. Move on. 

    Projection. 

  18. Posted

    8 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

    I think this is the same mentality that leads to misogyny. You've some serious delusions going on there and to make women the center of your life is dangerous, you're giving them way too much authority. You don't need anyone's validation in this world to thrive, and this applies to both men and women. This kind of love is just toxic obsession. It comes from desperation. A confident man is not begging for a woman, he knows he can love her when she is ready to receive. You seem to be overcompensating something, maybe you hated women in the past, I don't know. But if a man told me that he simply cannot function without women, I'd consider that as a weak man. That man wouldn't look strong in my eyes. And a woman is always scanning for strength in a man. 

    Whatever you wrote is fine from an emotional perspective. But not from a self development perspective. 

    What this tells me is that you don't know what femininity is and what the need for connection is. This is stuff that other women offer to us men. But, you don't get this cuz you don't offer it!! You just judge other men from a 'morally superior' perspective. 

    This tells me that your self-worth is low. I'd work on fixing that instead of lecturing men on 'how to be independent'. 

  22. Posted

    I'd say that most 'driven' people are not positively motivated, they're negatively motivated. If you really envy them and their lives, maybe talk to them and watch as they open up about their struggles. My point is that being driven is not going to solve all of your problems. There are lots of people who run in the rat-race all their lives and once they retire, they regret having done that with their lives and not done what they really wanted to do. 

    It is perfectly fine to have a slower life and smell the roses along the way. Productivity is not everything. 

    I think you're doing fine. 

  23. Posted

    A lot of religious people say the same things about people who are atheists. 'They just read the scriptures to prove it wrong and miss so much of the value and good stuff in it'! Without realizing that their way is not the best way or the only way of growth. 

    If I were you, I'd ask myself the following questions- how does she grow herself? Is survival more important to her than growth? Or is growth more important? Cuz if survival is more important, that could be a dealbreaker for you! Cuz such a person will not support you in your hero's journey when push comes to shove, they'll oppose it. And, once I understood how she grows herself, I'd show her how to apply spirituality there. I'd use those examples to teach her spirituality!! 

    Most people primarily care about their lives and their agendas. And, the reason you don't have a clear-cut answer as to why you care about spirituality, is that you are unconscious of this about yourself. You maybe haven't gotten tangible results in your life from this work yet, so you can't prove it to her. So, before explaining it to her, I'd figure this out for myself first if I were in your shoes. Then I'd show her how she can apply it, to improve the results of her life! 

    Spirituality can be a big strength in relationships. You just need to know how to use it. 

    HTH!! :)