mr_engineer

@something_else It's Vulnerability. This is the answer to the question 'How do you hook women?'. That is one piece of the attraction-puzzle. Incels exist because they don't have the balls to do this. Because their attachment-style is avoidant. I'm not saying that doing it is easy. It's not. But, as theoretical knowledge, it's clear enough to me that you gotta know this if I'm gonna believe your attraction-advice.

@something_else What if I told you that I had the answer to this question, in one word? Would you be open to it? This applies especially to the conscious, New-Age feminine women. I will tell you, all you have to do is ask.

The whole idea behind the point of 'don't ask women for dating-advice, only ask the guys who've done thousands of approaches', is that, the guys who have done it know how to hook women, when the women themselves don't. That's the only real difference. This is the value of a pick-up coach. Everything else is normal self-help stuff. If you know how a woman hooks, just directly tell me. I'd much rather have that, than the 'Let me set number-goals for you, let me hold you accountable', stuff. When guys ask you 'What's the good opener for me to use?! What exactly do I say to her?!' etc., this is what they're really asking you to tell them!! What hooks women?! I can understand you being critical of the attitude of 'wanting the right opener', cuz that doesn't exist, but this is what you're being asked for. And you gotta understand that.

@something_else Do you know how women hook? You're gonna have to convince me of that to get me to believe your framework. What's the proof for your framework? I'm being asked to make thousands of approaches. It's too big a commitment for me to make, if it doesn't make sense to me.

It is unbelievable to me that nobody wants to figure out how this works. Utterly remarkable. And when you try to do that, you get told that 'you're stuck in your head'. Unreal. If you don't know what makes women tick, how are you going to hook them?! Hooking is everything with women.

@something_else Yeah, but there are no instructors here. Most of the instructors are self-biased and you gotta create your own manual. Now what? Imagine that the car is this mysterious black-box and you have to figure out how it works all by yourself, with no one helping you and everyone just saying 'The car just magically starts when you turn the key, it just magically goes forward when you push the accelerator', without having a framework of Physics behind it. And then telling you 'Why do you have to figure out how the car works?! Just drive it!! Don't worry about breakdowns, just go find another car! Yeah, you gotta work hard and save up to buy a new one, but we don't know or care about how cars work, that's too much theory/science. So, just do what all of us are doing here, which is to throw away a car that doesn't work, cuz we don't understand how it works'.

@something_else That's like saying 'Go drive a car without learning what the accelerator and brake is. That theory is the distraction. Just look at what other drivers do and do exactly that!' Am I right?

In theory, yes. In practice, though, every individual woman is going to have a different definition of masculine 'strength', depending on the kind of role she'd want a romantic partner to play in her life. And this is going to be decided by her level of intellect and self-awareness. For example, a lot of women who had assholes for daddies, their definition of 'strength', might be his ruthlessness. Or his willingness to say whatever is on his mind no matter how it makes the other person feel. And they picture themselves to be able to 'love them' enough to not be on the receiving end of that, while other people who she wants to be protected from, will be! So, this is what she'll subconsciously seek out. And, if a guy is being really PC and mindful of how others feel, she'll see that as 'weak'. Is this a smart woman or a dumb woman?! And would you want to be with such a person?

@hoodrow trillson So, the way to not be a creep is to be stupid and impulsive, right? Is that what you're saying? My kind of woman, a smart one, would be creeped out by that. I think that a dumb woman would be creeped out/intimidated by a smart guy.

What do you want me to do, then?! Just 'act on my impulses'?! My assessment tells me that that's the way to be creepy. If it were that simple, we would not be disagreeing here! I'm telling you, it's not. Well, I do care. And I think it's dumb to not care. If you're telling me that they don't care about being labelled as 'creepy', no amount of success with women is going to repair the damage to your reputation that comes from that. Also, it's really hard without figuring this out.

@Optimized Life The issue is that Leo doesn't talk about social-circle. And pick-up is just too hard unnecessarily. Thousands of approaches?! Seriously?! Do it if you're up for it, I'm not. I have more important things to do with my life than spend thousands of hours chasing vagina, as Leo said in his video critiquing pick-up. If you want to do cold-approach, Leo's advice might work for you. I don't know, cuz I just don't want to do it. My point with Hamza is that he genuinely understands the issue of social responsibility. It's not your stereotypical alpha-male stuff, it is genuine advice on how to have friends in your life.

@Optimized Life I guess I'm just dumb, then. It's never been simple or obvious to me. It's highly subjective, in fact. And I find it important to make sense of the context. A lot of times, some behavior will be 'creepy' in one context and completely fine in another context. How do you tell the difference? What's the calculus behind that? Not so simple. I'm looking for the exact root-cause in the behavior of a 'creep' that causes resistance in hooking a woman. This is important for the long-term too.

A limit of this guy's teachings - He has no clue about how to make a romantic-relationship work. He is really amazing and legit when it comes to teaching about masculinity and self-improvement. And his dating-advice is 100% ethical, his advice on making male friendships work is 100% ethical. He's just limited in the context of romantic-relationship. That's it.

@Someone here Are you from India?! I will let you in on a little secret about Indian women - style is everything for them. Wear a leather-jacket, nice shoes, a nice belt, maybe a shirt. Try to look as cool and rich as you can. The female attention you'll get will skyrocket! You can insta-hook half the women in the room if you just do this. The concept of 'leagues' is huge in India. If you're dressed like an average guy and the hottest woman in the room is dressed in a nice dress, the consensus will agree that 'she's out of your league'. But, when you dress stylishly, you're bridging this 'gap in leagues', so to speak. Then, all of a sudden, your status in the room will go up and the hot woman will see you as 'on her level', so to speak. Then she'll pay attention! It'll almost be relatable to her, because she'll see someone who cares about how you present yourself. If you say it's shallow, I'll admit that it is. I'm not a big fan of it and I want to get out of here, quite honestly. But, if you just want to get laid, this is how you do it.

@KH2 Yeah, but he's not a big fan of 'cold-approach'. He built his own friend-circle from the ground-up in his second year university. And, the club-thing is how guys in their late teens/early twenties socialize! That's the age-group that clubs target.

I have found this to not be the case, I've found people I can trust. And you're advocating the opposite of that, which tells me that you don't want to be one of those people. Which is fine, just telling you about a reality you don't know about. You cannot live without men! You wouldn't survive a month without men. Then why don't we combine men and women's categories in sports?! A power-imbalance is not codependency. You can choose which authority-figure suits you based on your needs. And you won't be codependent on any one of them. Life is relationships. You need to grow up. The solution to this problem is to go out and find more people, have an abundance of people to depend on. Not to become independent. In society, we depend on each other. That is the reality. And, believe it or not, other people decide what we're worth. That's what they give us. If you decide you're worth a million dollars and if nobody else had that power, you could snap your fingers and you'd have a million dollars in your bank-account. Unfortunately, that's not how this works. Projection.

@Tyler Robinson It's like me saying to you 'Women can be strong and independent!! They don't need the law created by men to protect them. So, if you say that you have this need, you're WEAK!!' What would you say to me if I said that?! You'd say 'You don't know how to protect women, so you think women shouldn't need it', right?!

What this tells me is that you don't know what femininity is and what the need for connection is. This is stuff that other women offer to us men. But, you don't get this cuz you don't offer it!! You just judge other men from a 'morally superior' perspective. This tells me that your self-worth is low. I'd work on fixing that instead of lecturing men on 'how to be independent'.

@Tyler Robinson What you're saying tells me that YOU don't have that much to offer to a man. There are other women who we really love and adore! I'm just telling you that it happens. And you could change this for yourself too.

@Tyler Robinson

They don't tell you cuz they know you won't believe it.

I'd say that most 'driven' people are not positively motivated, they're negatively motivated. If you really envy them and their lives, maybe talk to them and watch as they open up about their struggles. My point is that being driven is not going to solve all of your problems. There are lots of people who run in the rat-race all their lives and once they retire, they regret having done that with their lives and not done what they really wanted to do. It is perfectly fine to have a slower life and smell the roses along the way. Productivity is not everything. I think you're doing fine.

Blue or Green? A part of me thinks that they just hate men. And they exclude trans-women from the feminist conversation cuz they're biological men.

A lot of religious people say the same things about people who are atheists. 'They just read the scriptures to prove it wrong and miss so much of the value and good stuff in it'! Without realizing that their way is not the best way or the only way of growth. If I were you, I'd ask myself the following questions- how does she grow herself? Is survival more important to her than growth? Or is growth more important? Cuz if survival is more important, that could be a dealbreaker for you! Cuz such a person will not support you in your hero's journey when push comes to shove, they'll oppose it. And, once I understood how she grows herself, I'd show her how to apply spirituality there. I'd use those examples to teach her spirituality!! Most people primarily care about their lives and their agendas. And, the reason you don't have a clear-cut answer as to why you care about spirituality, is that you are unconscious of this about yourself. You maybe haven't gotten tangible results in your life from this work yet, so you can't prove it to her. So, before explaining it to her, I'd figure this out for myself first if I were in your shoes. Then I'd show her how she can apply it, to improve the results of her life! Spirituality can be a big strength in relationships. You just need to know how to use it. HTH!!

The way I see it, this is Magnus taking a step out of the rat-race. Because what was driving him was not his greed for success, it was his passion for the game, his intuition, his creativity. It looks to me like the chess-world will start moving into Stage Green because of this decision from Magnus. It won't rely on so much cut-throat competition for prize-money and it'll rely on more co-operative endeavors like brand-deals, sponsorship, coaching, chess edutech, etc. Thoughts?