mr_engineer

War is good because it makes you appreciate the peace that you had. Basically! About WW2 - that's where we got the desire for World Peace. Cuz in the Holocaust, we saw the ugliness of industrial warfare.

'Inflation makes you appreciate what you had'!!

@7thLetter Depends on how well you understand women. My first priority in your position would be to understand women, how they work, how to attract them, how to hook them, maybe get laid before I figure out what 'having it together' even means, in the context of dating. And yeah. At this stage, keep it casual. Don't try to get too serious. And if you find yourself wanting to get serious, that's desperation. Maybe get therapy, maybe do shadow-work to resolve that stuff. Whatever you do, don't cope with it or assume that a woman is going to fix that for you. Now, if you're past this part and you have no problem attracting women, you know what you want and how to get it and now, you want to build your life up for a serious relationship, now casual sex is a waste of your time. Now, you cut out the distractions and build yourself up. The reason for this order of doing things is that I would want to make sure that the way I'm attracting women isn't dependent on things like my body, my money or my social-status. I would want to be able to attract women only using my game. Cuz that's how to find true compatibility and that's how to have a relationship last long-term. You don't want your 'personal-development' to be the reason your woman sticks around. Cuz if that's the case, when shit hits the fan, she'll leave you. You want someone who will be with you in the journey. Not someone who will 'stand at the finish-line and pick the winner' as the Entrepreneurs in Cars guy says!!

Let's say you are at a restaurant-table and let's say someone on an adjacent table is not following your definition of 'proper etiquette'. Nothing unhygienic or gross, just not the most conventional table-manners. Would you be judging them for it?

Whenever someone says 'love yourself', a lot of times, it's because they don't want to love you! So, I tend to want to next them. That's the most self-loving thing I can do! But, they don't understand the ramifications of 'self-love'. It's just theory that they're conditioned with.

It means, be loud and obnoxious. Cuz if you're quiet/introverted, women see that as 'meek'/'weak'.

That's it?! Is that all 'self-love' takes?! Okay, that's easy, I can do that. That's the popular image of 'self-love' right now. Doesn't have much to do with what 'love' actually means, it doesn't mean 'approval', but whatever. In essence, they're saying, hold a positive frame. I mean, that's kinda shallow. And it's easy to trick them by being inauthentic using an image of 'authenticity'. I don't know why they think that being 'self-loving' and 'trying to get women's approval' are mutually exclusive. That's the image right now, I guess. I think they're projecting their tendency to chase men's approval and this gets in the way of their self-love. That's a possibility.

Something I find very interesting here is that whenever I say something that you disagree with, your rationalization is 'you don't have enough experience with women. Go talk to women and you'll see that I'm right'. I could do the same thing! I could say that 'you don't know what I'm talking about cuz you don't have experience with women'. Just throwing it out there. It's disrespectful. It's like saying 'you can't know what a woman is, if you're not a biologist' or something absurd like that. This is not an issue of 'growing bitter'. This is an issue of vetting. Here's the thing, though - you can. I can be confident and choose to behave however I want!! But, their so-called 'sixth-sense' would not pick up on it. And I'd have to get manipulative now to show them how 'confident' I am.

Looks like I'm going to have to spill the beans. Women get an idea of what a 'competent man' is, from their fathers. And this is where they get their subconscious definition of 'strength'. And, if their fathers were faking 'confidence', which a lot of them are, this fucks up their internal compass. And, they hold onto it, cuz daddy! In theory, you're right. In practice, some of them can't smell confidence. They can smell what they associate with confidence. Which is money, status, a certain body-posture, a certain way of walking, a certain way of talking, etc. That's how they do it. If we're talking about pure biological instinct. Now, some women are smart and they can see through fake confidence. Some can't. We take what women offer to us. If women weren't competing against each other to be hotter, trust me, we wouldn't even have an idea of a 'hot woman'. They exist because they want to exist!

@petar8p Well, confidence that has to be proven by their reactions isn't really confidence now, is it?! I'm talking about their problematic interpretations of my behavior and what they make it mean about 'confidence'. Confidence, is a feeling-state. And that has nothing to do with my choice to act a certain way!

Is it evolved intuition? Or conditioning? And if it is conditioning, how do you break it without rational thought?

That is pretty scary. That it's just a 'biological radar', that no thought gets put into it from their side. I've had women mistake my silent confidence for meekness/weakness. And trust me, when that happens, you lose all trust for their biological instincts. Kinda like someone who gets molested loses trust for other people's biological instincts! Seriously, man. We have lost trust for each other's opinions so much that PUAs say 'just don't listen to women on dating'.

How do they distinguish between 'silent confidence' and 'meekness'/'weakness'? And does this differ based on the individual woman?

What is the conditioning that you're talking about? This is an original insight. It's not conditioning, I can assure you that!!

Here it is - there is a lot of toxic masculine conditioning that happens to boys at home from their daddies, in the locker-room, through the culture, through porn, etc. This is something that is genuinely shameful for men and we can't show this to women. So, we have to 'play' them. Working this stuff out has been what I have found to be the ultimate long-term solution to lack of confidence.

They do care about women. They just come across like they don't give a fuck, because they don't have a problem being loud, obnoxious and brash, 'being themselves'. In fact, they're so out of touch with their feelings that 'I don't care about women' is a massive cope for a lot of them.

What's shameful about it, is objectification and narcissism. You can't 'just be yourself' and outright show that to women, cuz they won't sign up for that. Yes. And, you don't know what you need to do to make her like you, cuz you have never had positive role-models. Only negative role-models, that women are very quick to shit on. Someone who's confident doesn't 'stop worrying about what to do to make her happy' because 'it doesn't matter, just be yourself'. They stop worrying about it, because they know what to do to make her happy!

I don't know why you keep assuming that I don't talk to girls. They never tell you what it means! It's for us to decipher.

What does it mean, then?

@King Merk I'm talking about what the traditional advice of 'be yourself' actually means. Do they love you because you're an introvert, or despite you being an introvert? Is it an advantage or a disadvantage?

Improve your validation-game. If you want someone this hot this bad, you have the potential to validate them. You just have to find someone who has that kind of body and who needs validation and you gotta give it to them. This is easier said than done. I'm just giving you a clue. HTH!

@7thLetter Integrate Stage Red.

Cheating is considered 'okay' because it's not a crime. It's not as bad as physically hitting someone, for example.

You should've run the moment you saw them giving you bad looks. The self-justification will usually run you deeper into the ground. And it'll be harder to recover from that, socially. Most women are neurotic about harassers. Especially if they themselves are codependent and socially anxious. You shouldn't approach someone who's socially anxious. I know, there are those people who say that 'They'll thank you if you talk to them'. But, mostly, they're alone cuz they want to be alone. And that's what you got told by the girl who shouted at you, basically. This is why I don't do pick-up, quite honestly. Cuz of the worst-case scenarios. I'd rather go to environments where connecting with each other is more socially acceptable.

The guy is a troll who thrives on attention.