mr_engineer

Done. The part about 'victim-mentality' was the gaslight. And, saying 'you're imagining battles in your head', that are actually very real lived experiences for me - that's textbook gaslighting now, isn't it?! It's not anti-woman. It's a criticism of feminism. Sounds like someone hurt you in the past. Who was it?! (Turning the tables in the psycho-analysis game!! I will use this information against you now, to show you how much of a failure you are in your inner-work. Then you'll get a sense for what men actually struggle with.) There's a first time for everything.

I'll make this simple for you, then. If it's anti-male rhetoric, it's probably BS. And yes, 'pro-equality' often means anti-male, because to collapse the distinction between 'male' and 'female' and to make both 'equal', is anti-male. And, anti-female. Both. I don't want such a person within 10 miles of me, in dating terms. We all have patriarchal conditioning. Some of us do the work of unwiring it, others project their shit onto others. And I've got no time for the latter. These are your 'unconscious feminists'. Workable. If she has good feminine qualities, the drama will be tolerable.

Feminism is the bias! It's the bias towards 'equality'. I request that you don't conflate this position with 'objectivity'. Do you actually believe that men and women are equal? In actual, practical reality? Not in your feminist books, in your 'intersectional theory' books. In actual reality. I hope that this forum, of all places, would understand that just because it's taught in university, does not make it objective. And it certainly doesn't mean that 'equality' is the solution to these otherwise complex systemic issues.

This is why I show the 'middle finger' to feminist women in dating. Because of this gaslighting. Do you know what it's like to be a man?! What battles we fight every single day?! When I said that 'you don't know one thing about what it's like to be a man', it was not 'inflammatory'. I meant it. You are ignorant about the male struggles. So, kindly, don't psycho-analyze me. And if you gaslight me another time, I will report it.

I thought that previously. Because I wasn't as mature of a man. But now, I see that it's not a 'system of expectations'. It's the natural way a man treats a woman with respect. This kindness gets shown to women, for the most part. It's respect for a woman's softness and sensitivity. Towards other men, the kindness gets shown, but in a tougher, more masculine way. Involving accountability and outright criticism to each other, even swearing at each other, 'out of love'. David Deida talks about this in depth in his book 'The Way of the Superior Man'. You just said that's 'benevolent sexism'. And chivalry is traditionally masculine.

Good. I actually genuinely don't trust the woke environment to not cancel me for lifting a finger against the narrative. All I can do is poke holes in it. Feminists will call what Teal says 'benevolent sexism'. They'll be like 'We don't need containment from men! We don't need men to protect us! We're strong and independent!! And by assuming that we need protection from men, you are insulting us!! YOU DESERVE TO BE CANCELLED!!'

@something_else Thank you for your concern. I have figured out how to fight this battle. At least, I don't pretend to not be biased. I don't make an enemy of bias either.

The good part about feminism is what they did in the 60s and before that. Fighting for equal rights. And, the toxic part about feminism... well, I don't want to get cancelled, so please excuse me as I don't reveal that to you. Whoever really wants to know what I think about this, kindly DM me.

Alright, fine. What is the difference between 'chivalry' and 'benevolent sexism'?!

The middle-finger has been shown to feminist women on the dating-front. This only applies to feminist women or those who want 'equality'. Women who don't want equality will have their femininity respected. I will behave like a gentleman with them. But, if you don't respect your own femininity, screw you! You will face the fierce masculine competition from men, you will face the same pressures that men do. And if you lose and you cry 'sexism', no sympathy. For example, if a man is expected to show up for work when his kid is sick, the same will be expected from a feminist woman. Cuz 'equality'. You asked for it! But, if she's feminine, she'll get let off the hook in such situations. It boils down to how well are you willing to treat men. Feminists can be toxic women who act adversarial. Expect the same treatment in return. You keep saying 'women', when I say 'feminist women'. It's called 'chivalry' or 'being a gentleman'. If you're a feminist, I don't expect you to understand this concept, it's alright. You're not there yet. Feminine women greatly appreciate it. And, I daresay that they deserve more encouragement than feminists. Cuz they have more feminine power.

@BlessedLion From the sound of it, she's not ready for serious relationship. She wants to fuck around, she's not mature enough to know how to be respectful to a man she's on a date with. Looking at this, if I were in your position, I'd ask myself 'What do I want out of my dating-life in general right now? Do I just want to fuck around or do I want a serious relationship?' If it's the former, I would look at how the French guy is flirting with her and I'd watch and learn. I'd take that date as a failure on my part, learn from that experience and do better next time. And, I would not complain to her about 'how it made me feel', cuz a woman who wants to fuck around doesn't want to deal with that. And, if it's the latter, I would, in fact, take offence at her behavior, not waste any more time with her and work on my traumas that make me attracted to incompatible women. Cuz that's what she is, if she's not ready for a serious relationship. And I'd work on positioning myself to compatible women. HTH!!

Oh, really?! I thought that on this forum, bias was 'bad'. And that the woke people do, in fact, see 'bias' as 'bad'. If you don't have this anti-bias bias, good work!

Here's the thing, though - men have the instinct to protect women hardwired into us. It's in our biology. And, women are, in fact, the fairer, weaker sex, in physical terms. In a time of war, I doubt that the enemy is going to distinguish between whether they're fighting men or women and only send women to fight women. And here's why I'm so against today's feminism. It makes an enemy of male biology. It seeks to create a society in which men aren't needed, it seeks to 'outcompete' men. And, granted, that it's the conscious men who will survive this battle, the unconscious men won't. But, there were better ways to do this. More peaceful ways. Like choosing good men over bad men for mating. And to put men in a position where they have to prove themselves in front of impossible standards, is kinda disrespectful. Even from the conscious men's perspective. As much as I understand the urge to do this, to actually do it, reeks of unconsciousness. Feminists have no room in my dating-life, for this reason. I will not tolerate a woman who 'fights me for equality' and says that if I lead her and protect her, 'that's sexist'. And, in the professional world, she's a man! And I will treat her like a man. No opening doors for her, no leading her by the hand, none of that good stuff for her! She will be subject to the same harsh accountability-standards that men are and I will show no sympathy for her woman-problems, cuz she's 'equal'. No extra measures to protect her.

If I were an SJW right now, I would be calling for you to get cancelled right now, because you have 'hostile sexism'. And that's a very triggering word. But, I'm not. And, I'm here to tell you that this is not an accurate representation of reality. If saying that 'women shouldn't be conscripted in a time of war' is 'benevolent sexism', well... I don't have much else to say.

The biggest sticking-point was - if I have a business and if I have a female employee who is a feminist, how should I deal with her? What do I do if she messes something up and when I give consequences for that, she calls it 'sexism'? Now that I saw this questionnaire and how it judges respondents, I'm getting a sense for what 'equality' means, in theory and in practice. In theory, it means that men and women are equal. In terms of worth and in terms of capability. And, in practice, it means that feminist women want to be men. They want men's success, men's sexual freedom and men's logistic freedom. I'm not threatened by any of this, I just needed to be sure that this is the reality. (And they're not admitting to this.) Now that I see what they want, it'll make things easier for me on that front. Now, if I have a female employee and she's a feminist, I'll treat her like I'd treat a male employee. And, if I have a female employee who isn't a feminist, I will treat her accordingly! I will take the opportunity to be masculine with her (in professional terms) and we can have that kind of dynamic.

Thank you for making an attempt to earn my trust and considering my best-interests. Unfortunately, I don't trust the environment enough yet. I am open to changing my mind when the conditions change. Yes, I have had that experience. I was falsely accused by a girl of 'being creepy' in high-school. I somehow kept that in the school and it didn't get to my parents. This totally destroyed my confidence with women for life. Before then, I didn't know why boys were scared of approaching girls. This showed me a legit reason why they would be scared. Now, here, I hide behind a veil of anonymity, sharing my 'sexist' opinions and having these debates with high-quality people here, because the rest of the world lacks the intellectual quality of this forum. If I go to any leftist echo-chamber, they won't be very respectful towards me. And, I should not use my real name when I have these conversations. I have been clueless as to how to navigate this minefield, up until this point. Now that we have qualified researchers who came up with their own standards, at least, there is an attempt to be objective in their definition of 'sexism'. And this is giving me a concrete way to handle this minefield. Now, I can have my own 'mine-detector', so to speak, and stay away from the mines.

My dude, I don't want to get cancelled. So, I'm practicing getting brand-appropriate stats. So that in the future, I can prove how non-sexist I am on serious fronts. This is a very, very unforgiving world when it comes to 'having the right narrative' or 'having the right character'. I didn't know how to play this game, now I do. You guys give me warning-points when you perceive something I said to be 'sexist'. I will never ever tell you my actual results. I spilled the beans on my own game here. I did consider using these results to request you to revoke warning-points, but I didn't want to stoop that low.

I found a way to get 0% and 0%!! It's when you take the most 'equal' position. Including saying 'I fully disagree with the statement that women should be cherished and protected by men'. And, 'Women and men should be equally conscripted in a time of war'. And, if you say 'Women should be cherished and protected by men', that's 3% 'benevolent sexism'. So, if you go out of your way to do good things for women, that's benevolent sexism. Chivalry is benevolent sexism. We have to be equal on all fronts. You can't make this shit up!!

When you take the middle way on all of them, you get 33% on hostile misogyny and 33% on benevolent sexism.

Yeah, apparently I was wrong about the pro-woman answers. That's why I was asking OP what those are. It's like taking a test, getting it wrong and then asking for the answer-key.

Nice results! Can you tell me how you got them?! I gave all of the pro-women answers and I scored 0% hostile sexism, 86% benevolent sexism. By the way, the only ways to save the results are to share on facebook or share on twitter. You can't get them to privately email it to you!

@Rishabh R In the dating-world, or your career, no one is your friend. Absolutely no one. Other guys are competition, so they will give you bad advice on purpose. Your bullshit-radar should be on full sensitivity when you talk to anyone about dating or women. Because they don't benefit from you getting what you want. Women are clueless for the most part about what they want, so don't listen to most women about dating. Find credible female sources, women who actually care about ending this gender-divide. They'll tell you what women want. And listen to no one else.

@Noahsteelers34 I'll tell you about my first cold-approach on the campus of a university that I attended. I was very busy that day. I had 15 minutes to spare. I see this really cute girl with beautiful hair. I want to approach her, but it's scaring the living daylights out of me, cuz I've never done it before. I make a split-second decision, I approach her and here's my line 'I just had 15 minutes to spare so I felt like talking to you right now. How are you doing?!' She had to run somewhere too, so she went her way. But, before parting, she gave a really bright, genuine smile and said 'Thank you'. I'm pretty sure that made her day. And, this was the end of my approach-anxiety. This is the most natural approach of my life. I truly felt like I was offering her my presence at that time, because my state was one of being driven, in the moment. I've tried doing pick-up in the traditional sense in the future, where I went to a shopping-street and approached girls. Came across really stupid, got blown out pretty badly.

How should one show respect for women? Should respect be given freely, or should it be earned by them first?