mr_engineer

I second this. Chess is technically a war-game. A lot of war-terminology is used in chess, like 'attack', 'capture', 'defence', 'protection', 'advancement', 'progress', 'space (as in, territory)', 'tactics', 'strategy', 'endgame', 'majority', 'minority', 'outpost', 'fortress'. Even the chess-pieces are named after war-resources, like 'pawns', 'knights', 'bishops', 'rooks (known as elephants here in India)'. A lot of times, it takes the mindset of a warlord/army-general to do well in chess. The more your temperament is like one, the better you'll do. You have limited resources, you have to calculate how you're going to use them in a rocky terrain to achieve the 'war-objective', so to speak. A lot of chess-styles are named like that, like 'attacking chess, attacking player' or 'tenacious defender' or 'positional/strategic player'. Also, 'grandmaster', which is the highest title in chess, is a title which also exists in martial-artists! So, it is primarily a masculine game that would appeal to masculine individuals. Having said that, the type of women who do well in chess tend to have high IQs, cuz that's good for puzzles. They tend to be good at management and calculation, from what I've seen about their personalities.

Yupp. Blitz rating. I normally play 5/0. 2200-2400 is insane! Are you titled by any chance?

What's your rating? Mine is 1800-1900 chess.com. (I crossed 2000 once lol)

Where do you stand on your Life-Purpose? If you meet this 'ideal woman' tomorrow and she asks you 'What contribution have you made to the world that you're the most proud of?', what would your answer be? This is your problem right here. If you can't answer this question, the conscious women see you as a guy practicing 'new-age pop spirituality' and they don't take you seriously either. That's why you meet those kinds of women yourself! And, to give you an idea of how things could work with someone who's genuinely awakened and who genuinely has integrity, she will be interested in what your Life-Purpose is, she will see whether it aligns with her values or not and if it does, she will fully support it. An unconscious woman will hold you back from following your passion if it means that the profit goes down for a month. But, a conscious woman will not nag you when that happens and she will support you instead.

Sounds like something the Taliban would say.

Just say that you're not a fan of tattoos. When you fake it, they lose respect for you. Politeness doesn't have a lot of value, as a guy, if we're going to be very honest. Being outright judgmental just works better. It'll get you more respect than being passive-aggressive (or being perceived as passive-aggressive). There is a trick to carrying it well, though. And, that is that you are aware of why you feel this way about tattoos. This requires shadow-work and that you work with your trigger around tattoos. If it's something legit, this can be a moral stand that you take against tattoos. This will earn you a lot more respect than what you did.

In you come, reading my mind, telling me exactly how I feel about myself. I didn't know this, but you... you opened my eyes and gave me a whole new perspective on reality. Thank you for saving my life!!!! I forgot that your username had 'princess' in it. It wasn't personal. Sorry if it offended you personally. Traditionally, getting married has been a big W for women. And yes, there is a lot of competition for those men who are ready for marriage. It's the commitment to provide and protect. And it's always been sacred for women. What you've written reads like someone who doesn't value relationships has written this. So, I don't know how seriously I should take your opinion on relationship-dynamics.

No, it's not. Oh, it is about having an attitude. A lot of women who say that 'they're the prize', give off a really entitled, high-maintenance, princessy vibe. This attitude makes me respect them less. And, when you project this attitude onto all women, it feels limiting, that there is no woman I can't escape having to deal with this. It comes across like they can't take care of themselves, so they come to you and tell you 'I'm the prize' to manipulate you. It's a manipulation-tactic. It's like a narcissistic God-complex, honestly, that they can use over your head to secure moral superiority with you and take advantage of your low self-esteem to enslave you. If your self-esteem is high enough, you don't flip around and say 'Oh! I am not intimidated by you, in fact, I see that you're right about being the prize! M'lady, what can I do for you?!' No! What happens, is that you just see through their shit.

In that case, it would be more appropriate for you to speak for yourself. You, personally, want to be the prize. That's completely fine. I object to you projecting this attitude onto all women.

First of all, when you say 'prize', is that in the absolute sense or the relative sense? Because, when you proclaim women to be the prize, you're defining it in an absolute sense. But, when you bring up this thing of 'choices and preferences', you're shifting the context of the use of this word into a relative one. 'Choices and preferences' imply that some men will see you as the prize, others won't. Right?! This is where you sneak in the relativity in the definition of 'prize'.

@StarStruck Next time this thing happens, where she leaves you on read, she makes excuses to go out with you, cuz 'she's the prize' and 'she's playing hard to get', here's what you tell her : 'You're the prize, if you share your love with me. If you don't, you're a piece of shit! It's not who you are underneath, but what you do, that defines you.' Know your worth.

If all women are 'the prize' just because they're women, why should a man choose you over other women? Why shouldn't he be a total player womanizer and enjoy as many 'prizes' as he wants?! On a serious note, if women believe that they're the prize just cuz they have a vagina, this feeds into the wider issue of women's sexualization and objectification. Please don't let your gender/sexuality define your worth, please rely on other things for it.

@integral Does she support you in your Life-Purpose? Or, does she say 'all of this lofty purpose stuff will not get anything done, just work a regular job'? It's fine to disagree on a couple of ideas about 'God' (which is an imaginary concept for most people anyways). The rubber meets the road when this translates to a lack of inspiration at work and therefore a lack of success. If you want to break up with her, this is how you justify it. And this is how you ensure that she learns the right lesson from it.

It's actually very simple. No, it's not looks, money, status, game, getting laid, getting a girlfriend or even figuring out the right relationship. It's this - learn to deflect criticism. People talk shit about you. They say 'you're not good enough because of this, that and the other reason. You're too short, too fat, too ugly, too hunchbacked, too autistic, too creepy, too uncalibrated, socially awkward, bad game, your style sucks,.... basically, you suck'. And taking this shit seriously really weighs down on you. Cuz you're insecure that 'what if they're right?' Step 1 to getting here - figure out how things actually work. Step 2 - see that the critics are full of shit. Understand the mistake that they're making, so that you know how to help them if you get a chance. Step 3 - deflect their shit back onto them. This will drive away the haters. And this is how you stay secure. This is how you 'protect yourself'. The reality is that if you have actual problems in life, you're probably already doing something about it. You don't need other people to 'hold you accountable'. What you need, is for people to shut up and let you do your thing, cuz you know what you're doing. So, this is how you make that happen.

Most guys who are relationship-material aren't ready until they cross 30, for a number of reasons that are beyond the scope of this discussion. If you're 18, it's legal (unless I'm getting my laws messed up). It's an option. Whether it's a good option or a bad option, you be the judge.

Go for older guys, then.

I wanted to teach the right way to deal with criticism. And, it is precisely this - deflection. When people spit in your face, you gotta spit in their face back. You gotta show them consequences for misbehaving with you and being disrespectful to you. Do you know how good women are at this?! We just take it. No! Stand up for yourselves. That's my message. The nature of what I'm teaching implies some casualties. Fortunately, because my philosophy is coherent, the casualties bring it upon themselves. This world is too harsh for you to be able to care about everyone. You have to adapt to it.

It would be much more helpful if you understood my biases and saw where I'm coming from. Thanks. Ah, so that's the angle you're taking. 'A biased mind cannot be loving'. Here's the thing, though - love is not a mental game. It's something beyond the mind. It is to become conscious that the other person is you, that the consciousness experiencing life through the other individual is you. I swear, you would be doing what I'm doing if you were in my position. This attitude is not meant to form sturdy relationships. This attitude is meant to fight off adversaries and enemies of your self-confidence and self-esteem. I have not shown you what I do to form sturdy relationships. And, I do not care to show you that cuz most of you have attacked me and criticized me. Screw you. I want supportive people in my life, not shit-talkers and haters. I respond better to people who understand and support me. Whose responsibility is it to resolve them, then?! 'The government'? Which political party is going to do this for us?! Come on. We live in a society that we share responsibility for. This is irresponsible on your part, to not do anything about this yourself and to hold back someone who is doing something about it. You should be ashamed of yourself. I have found a way to change it. What I'm currently doing is the way you change it. Before that, I need to SHUT PEOPLE UP about 'how crappy I am, how much victim-mentality I have, blah blah blah'. You give me shit-talk, I give you shit-talk. That's the game we're playing. This is not going to end any other way. So, either shut up, or continue to face my criticism in return. It has to start with one. It's not the 'opinion', it's the denial of the facts. That's gaslighting. My solution accounts for that. It accounts for all of your stuck-up, 'holier than thou' behavior. Yall are morons for coming here and shit-talking me on a thread that says 'the way I intend on defending myself is deflection'. This is unproductive for you, maybe. But, it's very productive for me. The more I argue with you, the stronger I get. Cuz this deflection-muscle gets trained for me. I don't regret this thread, but you will.

Imagine you ask someone online whether they've been to jail and they tell you 'yes, I have' No, but I swear to God, I have not been to jail. Am I supposed to go to jail first before worrying about going to jail for no reason?! Is that your angle?! The teacher who took that dumb complaint seriously. I never expected it to happen before it did. When she threatened to complain about me, I was like 'go ahead, you idiot. No one's gonna take you seriously'. Well, I have figured out how to right this wrong. About 'entitlement' - I am entitled to living in a world that treats me fairly. You or anybody else cannot stop me from creating that world in whichever way I see fit. Is that clear?! I don't need to be gaslit about what I've been through, thank you very much. Please don't 'help me'. Go to a cancer-hospital and tell them that they're imagining their suffering. They need that more than I do. (Don't actually do that lol, I don't know, you may actually think that's a good idea)

The system targeting you for no other reason than that you have male genitals, is pretty screwed. Screwed enough for you to have an existential-crisis over it. Because they occupy positions of power! It's very important to discredit their bullshit when they come after you, simping. Correction - you don't see the relevance to general attitudes. It's because of enabler white-knights and simps who will not question what a woman says. You calling this actual victimization 'victim-mentality' is an invalidation of what I've been through. It's called 'victim-blaming'. If you think that I'm that insignificant and that I suck that much, what are you doing still interacting with my posts?! Go away! I'm here to share an achievement of mine and if you come trashing on it, that's not my problem anyways, that's yours. Spare the hate. I haven't done anything to directly hurt you.

I would be interested in your opinion after you change your ideas on what loneliness is. Something about your current opinion on it is not right. Because it's such a triggering topic, I don't want to directly tell you what, I will leave the door open for you to explore if you are naturally curious. Peace.

Dude, 9/11 influenced the outlook of the entirety of USA. It's one thing to say that it shouldn't happen, it's another thing to admit to the reality that it does happen. This is how you enable the dysfunctionality, then. By not seeing how other men enable it. Why do false-accusations come to pass, then?! Oh, I'm validating myself just fine. In the face of all of you invalidating me. This is why the deflection-tactic works so well!! Say that to an 1800s slave.

You would have said all of this even if I'd said 'she didn't just falsely accuse me, she also tried to kill me with a serrated knife. In fact, I have stab-wounds that I can show you'. Please spare the hate. You don't know what I've been through. In a world that hates you, the ability to keep your sanity is a very real victory. That's what I'm sharing with you in this thread. You can only distance yourself from something that you've learned your lesson from. Or else, the pattern repeats.

Please do more research on what loneliness is. I urge you to question your ideas on what it is. Peace.

I reiterate, it's not the women that are the problem. I understand that it was that one girl and that I can change things about my attachment-style and go for better women. It's the fact that other men are enabling dysfunctionalities in women in today's world. The simping, the moralization, the debating against traumatized individuals, the fighting, the invalidation of men's issues, the invalidation of emotional realities. Do you realize how truly empowering it would be to women, if we included them in this discussion?! They would be able to resolve this just like that. But, because men have not had these kinds of discussions historically, we just suck at figuring this out, collectively.