mr_engineer

Show me where in this thread I have quoted any redpill/manosphere sources. I am quoting what the 'civilized', 'spiritually ascended' world says about men.

It is actually really PC nowadays to hate on men. A lot of wokesters hate men, saying 'men are trash', etc. David Deida fans also hate on men, saying that 'if you need anything from a woman, you're the problem, you're not in your 'Divine Masculine'', etc. Most dating-advice for men just trashes men, saying 'men are weak these days, good times create weak men', etc. Feminists, well, we all know what they say, right?! Toxic masculinity, blah blah blah. When I was in graduate school, a girl from my class used the term 'mansplaining' unironically in class to describe what the professor was doing. If the entire world hates you for just existing, are you really the problem?! Or, is there something terribly wrong with the world you exist in?! The only way to be secure in a world that hates you, is to learn to deflect.

@TheCloud You're telling men that 'your loneliness is nobody else's problem, you have to 'man up and solve it yourself'. The modern world has no solutions for you, the modern world does not give a fuck about you, for that, you have to become a 'fountain of abundance'' (whatever that means). Would you say the same thing to women who are lonely? P.S. Women, if you're paying attention, this is the shit we have to deal with on a daily basis. So, please don't give us any more hate, we're suffering a lot. There are no 'male spaces' for us, this is what the 'male spaces' are saying to us. Being a man in the modern world is a terrible fate, it sucks. Pets get treated better than this.

To be clear, I'm not hating on women here. Women are people and people are dysfunctional. I get that. My issue is with the simps who say 'women can do no wrong, so if any conflict with women occurs, it's your fault'. No, it's not! That's where you use deflection. You tell the simps that 'you think that because this, that and the other thing is wrong with you'. They use this deflection-tactic all the time. You use that back on them! The reality is that women have a lot of power. Because there is no shortage of simps and white-knights. No, this is not a game-issue, this is a societal trend in which women are put on a pedestal and everything they say goes. I would much rather have it be straightforward. Where you say 'Hey, this is my name, this is what I want. Are you down?' And this is not societally judged as bad. It's the white-knights and simps that make it bad. All of this 'teasing and playfulness' is a big waste of time. We have real problems, real loneliness, real emotional-needs to meet. Just talk in a straightforward manner and get this done. Dating sucks because people aren't being straightforward and honest about what they want. There's nothing fun about beating around the bush anyways. Yupp. If you are angry at anything that goes wrong in society, that's 'fake confidence'. Not 'true confidence'. Cuz anger can never come from the core. In my opinion, there shouldn't even be any 'game'. Why should I have to play 'games' to just be myself?! What are 'social-skills', even?! Being yourself is a 'skill' now?! Come on. It's all shaming-tactics because women can't get their heads straight. Everyone, please grow up and talk straight cuz this is getting old.

Then you are lucky. Says the privileged person who has never had this happen to him. Note how you never made it about her doing something badly wrong, you made it about the man. This is shit-talk and it is because you live in la-la land in which you believe that life is all rainbows and butterflies and women are all angels. She'll diss you in her friend-circle and your reputation will tank. What then? It's not illegal to be those other things. If someone called you a thief and had a receipt for the watch that you're wearing, with their name on it, the police will believe them. No matter how fake that receipt might happen to be. Our procedures for proving 'guilt' are totally skewed against men on this front. A friend comes to you, slaps you in the face. Then, when you get triggered and defensive, he says 'it's cuz you're a pathetic little weakling. You wouldn't have cared about this slap if you were big and strong enough, you little bitch!' Good luck ignoring it when the police violently interrogates you to ask you 'Confess!! What have you done?!' P.S. This deflection-strategy is excellent to deal with simps/enablers of women's dysfunctionality.

More shit-talk. 'The title is wrong'. My answer - If a woman hits a man on the head with a lead pipe, he will bleed and die. Being a 'man' doesn't mean that you can't get hurt or screwed over by women in a very bad way. Cold-approach has its risks and you have to stay safe yourself as a man. So, I don't agree with your title-change. Now, I'm secure. Now, you can't get through to me!! This is working. I strongly recommend anyone who's struggling with the prevalent criticism of men to do this.

Alright. More shit-talk. How do we address this? More deflection! Because YOU'RE not socially calibrated, YOU don't see how women throw this term around willy-nilly destroying the lives of good men. And you're being a simp and not acknowledging the mistakes that they're making.

Why is it a man's fault that they don't FEEL safe?! It's always about the feeling, not the objective reality that most men are well-intentioned human beings. Most of the criticism of 'male behavior' is bullshit. The reality is that women's paranoia makes it so they're tapped out of the objective social reality and this makes them uncalibrated. Well, we're changing the rules for this one. You know what?! Women's paranoia is their problem. I don't give a fuck anymore, I'm not following any stupid social rules just to 'make them feel safe'. All you get is shit-talk from them. Caring about women's safety is a really thankless task. I don't want to do it anymore. I won't explicitly do anything bad but doing the good stuff is just not worth it either.

The proper way for her to handle the situation is to establish rapport with you without jumping to conclusions. Maybe she's jumping to conclusions cuz her social-skills suck! That's also a possibility that we never consider. Why is it always your fault that she feels unsafe?! It's ALWAYS the man's fault, they make a woman's feeling-state his fault, somehow or the other. Of course, we have to deflect when we're faced with this onslaught of blame, criticism, accusations! So, what is the proper way for a woman to protect herself from actually dangerous people? When you establish rapport, you see who the other person is. Whether they're narcissistic or whether they're properly communicating.

Read the whole thing in detail.

And, there are too many pick-up rules that are just simp-rules, just catering to women's paranoia, just to protect yourself from this situation. Fine, maybe it is prudent to follow them. But, just understand who's really responsible for their existence. It's not your fault that you have to prove that 'you're safe' to a woman, that women are walking around paranoid all the time. You are not a sex-offender. And when the world doesn't believe you, you have to deflect the shit that your enemies throw at you.

@NoSelfSelf My point is that when something like that happens, it becomes very tricky to prove yourself innocent. Mostly to others. The solution to that problem is to see whose fault it really is. Who is responsible for the police harassing you? Is it you or her? The answer is - it's her. Now that you know that, the solution becomes to see why she did that to you and to rectify the reason why you approached her to begin with. This you do by trauma-work or something along those lines.

@NoSelfSelf I mean, the chances of the police coming to you go up if you openly admit to being a 'creep' (whatever that means), right?! That is the mess-up, that you 'just own it'. Women have that luxury, of 'just owning the b-word' or something. Men don't. There are consequences for us. The only way to defend yourself is to deflect that criticism (maybe not out loud, but in your mind), thinking that 'she's really uptight, she's not in her feminine, I will not approach this type of girl in the future'.

What happens if the police stops you and tells you 'she said that you admitted to creeping on little girls'?!

You approach a girl, she says 'Ew, you creep!' You have to find a way to invalidate that criticism immediately, or else it will weigh on you for years. This is the real point of social calibration. It's so that you know and understand the 'norms' of how things 'should work' so that morons can't sway you.

Alright. It is time for me to demonstrate what I mean. In you come with 'being bothered by criticism means that you're not a real man, you're a little boy'. Here's my deflection : I disagree. I think that someone who is a 'man' is grounded enough to know that it hurts when you're criticized. And knows how to protect himself.

@Leo Gura You're talking about pick-up and cold-approach, which is a very specific circumstance. Yeah, you will have a lot of phonies smiling through their teeth at you, if you play their little social game and follow their stupid rules. Right now, we have a whole bunch of media that's spreading man-hate. Everyone who says anything about men has way too much negative shit to say about men and zero good things. And, all men need one point-blank solid answer as to 'how to feel secure as a man, how to protect yourself from all of this negativity'. It's too much negativity to ignore, you need explicit ways to shut people up about you.

Wouldn't this enable their behavior? When I hear this advice, a part of me is like 'that's a little bitch-move, they insult you and berate you and you just take it'.

Would you say that physical and mental health is a major factor in happiness? If it is, then the comfort-zone that I described is a big happiness-killer. Fair enough. This is a relativistic stance on happiness. If you do figure out the optimal path to happiness, please do teach it. It will get a lot of attention.

Easy does not mean happy, right? The easiest thing to do is to stay in your crappy comfort-zone, eating Cheetos and watching TV (from a newbie's perspective, not necessarily your or my perspective). Will that make you happy? What is the optimal path to happiness, then? And if this isn't it, why do you do what you do?

You sure you want to be saying that, being a self-improvement teacher?! If that's the message we send to newbies, how will we raise the world's level of consciousness?! The biggest impact you can have on the world is with self-improvement newbies.

If liberals really are more developed than conservatives, this shouldn't happen, right?! Here's my opinion on this - Liberals and Democrats are more concerned with 'deconstruction' than 'construction'. To have deconstruction be your biggest motivator, means that you're coming from a place of unhappiness. Now, true, it's possible that conservatives are also unhappy and just aren't admitting to it. Having said that, this is a problematic stat for progress in general and it will motivate more people to just dig their heels in the sand. Progressives need a better vision for what a better world would look like. Deconstruction is not enough to create a happy life. Sure, it's good for letting go of attachment and unnecessary neuroses in life. But, if you don't have a constructive agenda alongside, you will not have an alternative system to monkey-branch to. You will have no hope for the future, you will become nihilistic and depressed. Yes, nihilism is the ultimate truth and life ultimately is meaningless. But, what this also means is that the responsibility for your happiness is fully on your shoulders. And our society is not meant for people to prioritize happiness, it's meant for people who prioritize survival. So, in the short-term, the conservatives will be happier than the progressives.

If that were the case, why would women report greater levels of happiness with them?

The first thing you have to do is you have to figure out the right emotional-dynamic that you want in relationships. In simple terms, what emotional-need do you want women to meet for you and what emotional-need you want to meet for them. Figure out a win-win there. The way you do this is by doing trauma-work/inner-child work and you find your strengths in relationships. This will tell you who the compatible women are. Next, you go to those compatible women and you offer what you have to offer, to them. Then you'll get hook-point! Everyone wants attention these days. All guys want female attention (which is what hook-point is). So, to get it, you have to do something that they aren't doing. And you have to offer something unique that they aren't offering. Because what you're wanting is attention, this is a marketing-problem and it has a marketing-solution.