mr_engineer

'Hunting down rapists might feel like you are doing something worthwhile to solve the problem of rape, but ultimately won't do anything to solve women's safety because these men are likely unrelated to the root-cause of women's safety-issues'.

You need experience. I can tell just by observing her body-language/social-confidence whether she's smart or not and whether she's a pleaser or not. If she has a stick up her ass, if she's not relaxed, she's a pleaser.

Just say that you don't give a shit. It's fine. There's nothing exceptionally bad about that, most of the world doesn't give a shit.

You can't have 'agree to disagree' and be solipsistic at the same time. Because, sooner or later, the disagreement between the two parts of your mind will escalate and blow up in your face. Disagreement on something this important is a serious problem and must be tackled. It's like saying 'I think that it's okay to starve your children if they behave badly' and you say 'No! That's barbaric as hell' and I say 'We can respectfully agree to disagree, don't personally attack my opinion and call it barbaric'. No, I don't know what it's like for women to feel lonely. That's why I LISTEN. What I've heard women associate 'loneliness' with, is a lack of protection/containment. The way a woman feels connected to a man is when he does good things for her. No, it's not. It is a symptom of emotional-neglect/emotional-starvation. When you say that 'it just arises', this contradicts your spiel about cause and effect. And, for your kind information, I am not 'blaming the world for it', I have solved this problem for myself. The first step to solving it is to face it and see it as valid. The second step is to figure out which people are compatible with you and how to make things work with them, to practically validate your ideas. And the third step is to call bullshit on everyone who invalidates it. Bullshit. Humans have emotional-needs from other humans. You don't get to sit there on your high-horse and tell me that I don't need other humans to love me. This is ridiculous. It's cruelty, in fact. Maybe you are well-intentioned, but you are genuinely deluded about loneliness and how it works. It's not just a 'feeling-state'. Please do your research before preaching solutions.

@Princess Arabia The fact that you're calling this a word-game, proves that you have no idea of what you're talking about. Loneliness is a visceral experience. When you go out and get rejected by women, it viscerally feels like your life is in danger. You don't 'know' what it's like. And by 'know', I mean, in terms of experience. You don't know what it's like to have women avoid you everywhere and then, when you talk about your loneliness, to totally invalidate it. You have zero ideas about what it's like. If you actually give a shit, I'd suggest that you just open your mind to the possibility that you don't know what men's loneliness is.

@Princess Arabia Okay, fine, let's talk about your spiritual ideology. Given everything you've said, here's my question for you - then why doesn't your 'reality' account for mine? If it is One, if you really can perceive the 'Oneness', you should be able to perceive it, right?! In my experience, the only way to realize true solipsism is by integrating everyone's mind into your mind and becoming that multi-perspectival. And using intuitive guidance to do that. I don't know about you but if I start assuming that the outside world reflects my mind before I do that, the potential consequences of that to myself and to others are beyond dangerous. Some serious zen-devilry could come out of that.

I would also not mean it like that. I would be like 'just take this pill that the doctor gave you and stop boring me with your period-pain complaints, you're making this a bigger deal than it is'. I would be very well-intentioned. It would still be obnoxious behavior, objecitvely, right?! Women have no frickin idea how lonely it really is to be a man. First of all, you gotta start admitting this. For example, I don't claim to know what period-pain feels like or what it's like for a woman to walk out alone at night. Same deal.

Imagine you have period-pain, you talk about it and I, as a man, tell you 'you are imagining this pain, you are creating this pain in your mind'. What would you call me? A spiritual-bypasser, right?! You would think that my behavior is really obnoxious, and rightly so.

I have prescribed a solution for people who invalidate men's loneliness. And, I gave a live demo in this thread for yall to refer to. This is how you deal with it.

The topic at hand is men's loneliness. Men know what it's like, women don't. So, you might as well pay attention, if you care. If you don't care, your lectures count for shit.

Don't condescend. I am speaking from my life-experience as a man. All of that goes into how I interpret stuff. If you have no idea what it's like to be a man, rather than lecturing me about the 'Absolute Truth' and 'how your mind creates meaning', you might as well just listen.

Spoken like a true spiritual bypasser.

'You are creating these people on an unconscious level' is spiritual bypassing of the reality shown in the video I shared in the OP. When I told you to not change the topic, I was being nice to you.

Let's stay on topic, please. Don't change the topic into one in which you get to deflect everything on the man.

People-pleasing is a big red-flag in women. If you even remotely sense that she's a people-pleaser, run the other direction! Because, what she'll do is she'll have sex to 'please you', then she'll regret it, resent you and falsely accuse you. You will have to assess compatibility, you will have to ascertain that she's smart and she can stand up for herself and you will have to get on the same page about compatibility. When communication is clear, she won't feel the need to bring in a third-party to regulate you and you should be fine.

Saying that 'men's loneliness is not a problem' is sexism against men and Leo and mods have to acknowledge this, rather than censoring me.

As permissive as you're being of this toxic behavior, at least, you're acknowledging that it's toxic. At least, you think that men deserve that much validation for their humanity. Now, about being a 'good person' - let's say, a woman is getting sexually assaulted in a public place, say, a train. What you're saying is the equivalent of 'you should ignore blatantly dumb and heinous stuff instead of escalating the conflict in that situation. If you want to fix the problem of rape, only focus on not being a rapist yourself, instead of directing all your attention towards the actual rapist committing the rape'. Do you believe that being pro-male-loneliness counts as man-hate? Because that's the point of debate here. What causes people to be pro-male-loneliness? And what do we do about these people?

This is going to be fun. I see a lot of rhetoric about what a 'real man' does. So, here's my question to the forum - what does a 'real man' do to qualify as a 'real man'? Sidenote - there is also a lot of heated debate about 'what a real man does not do, what masculinity is NOT'. For example, it's not what Tate does, it's not what religion preaches, etc. What is it, then?!

Let's call this 'toxic femininity'. We have to make them realize that they're pieces of garbage for acting like this, they must be shamed and guilt-tripped. Do this in a cold-blooded way, cuz this is exactly what they deserve.

And we have to shame that behavior. That's our job. Deal? The people who believe this invalidating shit are evil and we have to be prepared to fight them. They have shamed lonely men for far too long. This time, it's their turn. Justice will be served.

Can we stay on topic here? The topic is collective change, so that men feel emotionally safer putting themselves out there.

Looks like we know what 'toxic femininity' means now. We have to start shaming this behavior, immediately. For the sake of our own mental-health. People who invalidate loneliness should have no place in our society and they should be ostracized. It is time to make this a stigma. They should not get away with this behavior. It's incredibly unfair and we have to take a stand against it.

I'm offering a tutoring-service in which I change the dynamic between student and teacher. My aim is to maximize classroom-engagement, so that the students aren't just sitting there passively and bored, zoning out. Rather, they're engaging in active discussion and contemplation of the concepts. Their ability to apply the concepts to solve real problems skyrockets when I do this. My ultimate vision is to bring a change to the education-system. The monologue-based lecture-structure is inadequate for students to have a deep conceptual understanding of the material. Rote-learning and indoctrination is an archaic and barbaric practice that needs to be abolished with immediate effect.

Something interesting that just occurred to me is that 'bossy girls' or 'boss babes' have a certain definition of 'real woman' that aligns a lot with Andrew Tate's definition of 'real man'. Andrew Tate wears suits and smokes cigars and says that 'real men don't need women', the 'boss girls' wear suits and smoke cigars and say that 'real women don't need men'. In other words, they're just using the word 'woman', when in reality, their definition of it actually is the traditionally masculine definition of 'man'. Therefore, never take anything they say about 'femininity' and 'feminine power' and 'girl power' and 'women empowerment' seriously. They're just using the word 'feminine' cuz they have lady-parts. If they had man-parts, they'd be saying 'masculine'.

2 years.