mr_engineer

In the first sentence, you talk about the obstacles that'll come, that I'm using this thread to come up with ways to get through. The whole reason I'm having this conversation is to look at what men are doing with their emotions, if they're not expressing them. And what their rationale is behind it, why they're doing what they're dong. And in the second sentence, you talk about me creating a lot of narratives. These are the narratives that I'm creating! This is what I'm 'overthinking' about. When I know what men think 'masculinity' is and what they're trying to be, I know what they're conditioning women to believe about 'masculinity'. Then, I know which women are conscious and which women are not conscious and which women to vet out!

Thanks! The Joint Entrance Exam (JEE) is an entrance-exam that high-schoolers who took science here in India take, to get into the best engineering-schools. The JEE(Advanced) is known as the second hardest exam in the world, after China's GaoKao. It is a hard exam by all metrics. You're competing against 100,000 of the most serious kids for around 7000 engineering seats in the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT). The material is incredibly wide-ranged (some of it is college-level by American standards). And, most of all, the questions are incredibly tricky. You cannot just follow a simple step-by-step algorithm to solve them, the questions are not familiar, they don't repeat questions. You have to be creative on the spot and 'crack' the question (this is why we call it 'cracking the JEE'). This is what's being asked of engineering-aspirants in high-school here. Now, what's the reward, why would anyone sign up for this hard challenge? In India, if you're an IITian, it is a symbol of intelligence. It benefits you in every way. From job-prospects, to good potential for grad-school in the West, to contacts, to social-status. Which is why parents go nuts over this exam. There is a JEE-coaching industry here, that's worth $250 million. How do these institutes operate? By brute-force indoctrination. They have 3-hour classes every day (outside of school), in which they write everything on the blackboard, they throw a lot of material at the students and give hard questions to solve. It's really brutal for someone who's not passionate about it and who's just being pressured into this by their parents. And, it's an incredibly harrowing experience to have to study 12 hours a day, memorizing all of this material (I know cuz I've done it, not only does it suck, it doesn't work. I barely missed IIT by 1000 ranks). So, where is the gap in this industry? The core issue in this industry is that they don't understand JEE(Advanced) as an exam, they think it's just about hard work and more memorization, more solution-techniques. But, the reality is that IIT does not repeat any questions, they create new questions every year to test your problem-solving abilities (which is why they produce some of the best engineering-graduates that big-tech offers $100,000/annum jobs to). It takes a deep conceptual understanding and creativity to crack this exam. And this is something that an indoctrination-based machinery lacks the ability to equip students with. This is the gap. How am I filling this gap? Here's the root-cause of the problem - today's education-system believes that 'knowledge' is 'words'. This is the core epistemology (or, definition of knowledge) of today's education-system. Which is why there is a lot of focus on memorization, reproducing it in exams and, of course, indoctrination. This is why the 'epistemic-structure' (system of top-down dissemination of knowledge) is indoctrination-based. This is what I'm changing in my classroom. Because I understand spirituality, what I understand is that 'knowledge' is not 'words', it is 'awareness'. And, with the understanding of how the education-system works (I've seen all levels of it, from kindergarten to grad-school), if I create my own epistemic-structure, in which I'm aware that I'm interacting with a human mind that possesses creativity as opposed to a computer that I'm supposed to program or 'indoctrinate', students stop zoning out and sleeping in my class. I get a higher engagement-level from them. Also, I ask them a lot more questions that they're supposed to contemplate, so that they not only learn the words of the theory, but they understand how it applies to understanding practical reality. And, because this is what's being tested in the exam, I can sell this to the parents here and make a living like this. I could've talked a lot more about what my competitive edge is, what my USP is, how Leo's spiral-dynamics videos have helped me in implementing this (sorry Leo, couldn't get into it, but they've helped a lot) and what the core principles are, but in short, this is how I'm implementing it! P.S. Having watched Leo's spiral-dynamics videos, I went into further depth to understand how the Stage Blue mind works, how the Stage Orange mind works and what the correct way would be to help the people here move up the Spiral, as a teacher. This went into the creation of my USP!

@Scholar We live in a world where the only people who don't have safe-spaces to be emotionally vulnerable are straight men. The first step to constructing a safe-space for men is to have a morality that's by men, for men. So that, in the future, if toxic people knock on your door, you see the red-flags and you will disallow them in your safe-space. There is no harm in caring about yourself, because it's your space. This little conversation was just me doing my homework about the types of resistance/antagonism I would face if I were to create such a space for men, and how to battle it. We have to protect ourselves first and foremost. Then, the rest of the world will benefit from it. And, you cannot create this safe-space without conscious women. Because social-skills, fundamentally, are a female invention, so women must participate in the evolution of social-skills for more conscious communication. Making it a male-only space will make it devolve into an Andrew Tate hustler's university.

If we erased all of the 'toxic masculinity' BS from the internet, more than half of the lonely men would have the confidence to go out there and talk to people. And they would not have a self-concept of shame when they do that. The problem is not the internet itself, it's the bullshit content on the internet. It has to be cleaned out. Shouldn't they get a taste of their own medicine?! Don't tell me what to realize and what not to realize. If they saw it as 'silly', they would not be doing this anyways. They would not be censoring men standing up for themselves. This is unacceptable.

Very productive. I will be less 'ridiculous' now, thanks. And 'maybe' is not good enough for me. If I interact the way you tell me to interact, will it, or will it not be solved?! 'Do or do not, there is no try' - Yoda We just have to take a stand against this immaturity. We have to say 'no' to it, collectively. Censor it, tell them they're wrong, point out the problems with what they're saying. They should not have the audacity to continue this toxic behavior in which they invalidate real problems.

Yeah, I've been through this entire process and my real friends basically agree with what I'm saying. They agree that invalidation is a huge issue and that the first step to solving it on a collective level is to stop engaging in this behavior. That it's very damaging. This is why you also prepare to look after their emotional well-being. These just are the rules of the game of a healthy attachment-relationship. If you don't do this, toxic behavior by both of you will drive the relationship into the ground.

Loneliness is about a lack of attachment-relationship with someone who understands you and connects with you. 'Friends' are not going to do this for you. They'll be nice to you, maybe make you laugh and at best, give you advice. But, they're not going to take responsibility for your emotional well-being, which is what must happen in an attachment-relationship. Those skills are not to become less lonely, they're about making more 'friends' on the surface. The reality is that if you go to a bar/club and you sit there sober and you observe the degeneracy around you, it will make you feel pretty lonely. Because they're not there to connect with each other. If more people equated to less loneliness, PUAs with high body-counts would not have mental-health issues. After starting this thread, I feel a lot less lonely. Because for the first time, I feel like I'm really speaking my mind. This is the first step to solving the loneliness-problem. All of this stuff about 'making other people feel good' will only make you feel used long-term. It's simping, but on an energetic level. It will drain you, emotionally.

The solution to loneliness isn't 'me get girlfriend'. The solution to loneliness is that all of us, especially women, become emotionally conscious and stop invalidating men's loneliness. Invalidation IS the problem and we have to shame it out of existence to solve this problem of loneliness. After starting this thread, I'm feeling a lot less lonely. I feel like I can finally speak my mind.

@Consept No, I don't have to conform to your way of doing things. My solution is just better. I have standards and I don't feel the need to simp over random women.

Loneliness doesn't make you do shadow-work. Knowing how to do shadow-work makes you do shadow-work. So, the more likely outcome is that it'll cause more men to kill themselves.

Ah, so you're a mind-reader. Good to know that. Your bot-program says 'you're being a victim, stop doing that'. You just keep repeating that over and over again, expecting me to fall for it. Ah, so your bot-program also says 'women can do no wrong'. Got it. It was a very productive discussion for me. I got to learn a lot. Thanks.

Actually, there are some women who do care and who have a lot of mental-health wisdom to share. With their help, things could get better. There are a lot of spiritual women who want exactly this. All you have to do is to be vulnerable with them. But, yeah. The average club-going woman who has an Instagram account is not going to do anything about it. We do have to be very careful about the women we choose to listen to, especially the ones talking about 'what women want'. The spiritual women are telling the truth, they are over the manipulative games cuz they understand it gets them nowhere. They'll learn the hard way. ✌️

All of this is a gaslight, trying to use psychological manipulation to change my mental-associations. I'm only fighting against the people invalidating the problem at hand. And I'm winning. This is scapegoating. 'There is so much wrong with you, if you don't accept that there is something wrong with you, it's all pointless'. It would be more productive to just say 'what she did was wrong, that should not have happened to you'. End of story. You are a bot, as mentioned in the title of the thread. You're just repeating and rehashing the same ideology, you refuse to use any other lens to view this situation.

For their own good, honestly. Most people's relationship-lives suck. Yes, I am being better for them. I deserve the same in return. So, please excuse me as I call out the toxicity. It will raise awareness around toxic femininity, more and more men will start to stand up for themselves against it and if people are talking about it, yes, they will want to rethink everything. Not to save the lonely guy, for their own good. You're so lost in your 'real world', it's like pointing water to a fish. I'm observing it from a distance, which is why I can see what I can see. Actually, I'm doing fine with people. Thanks for the concern. And, I don't know what 'mindset' you're talking about. More scapegoating, I guess.

These are not just 'injustices'. These are collective patterns that have to be changed, or else they will repeat. And, the first step to do that is to call out those who are responsible, to 'put the blame where it belongs', so to speak. Mr. 'man up bro', normalizing struggles is the opposite of doing something about them. It's called 'holding the other group accountable for their part in it'. This is a limiting-belief. You haven't tried it yet. Also, imagine preaching this to women who have gone through sexual assault. This is not about 'blaming'. This is about facing the reality of toxic femininity and dealing with it. I'm on your side here, giving you a way to deal with it. You're the one enabling toxic behavior here. You're just being a simp. If you show lonely people some kindness, that's very helpful. It is not a material problem that you have to 'work hard' to solve. You need other people to co-operate in the process of solving it and you have to call out their shit too. Being fat is purely an individual health problem. But, being lonely is a relationship-problem. And other people have to be better so that you don't suffer like this. It's perfectly valid to call out toxic invalidation like this.

No, this is not 'life'. This is a collective problem that needs a collective solution. And I'm not 'crying about it'. I'm proposing a solution and seeing how people respond. It's called market-research. I want to see what the esteemed forum-members have to say about this. I knew I would get flak, I just wanted to see whether it'd be rational or not. Most people here who talk about 'manning up' are engaging in benevolent emasculation. It's really interesting how you don't see how what I'm doing is the definition of 'manning up' and facing a problem. Maybe it's cuz yall don't want to face the root-causes of the problem?! Please learn what 'man up' actually means, in practice. I don't know what you think it means, but it's wrong. Cuz you're saying it to someone who is doing just that. You're just throwing around the term willy-nilly.

I was falsely accused by a girl in high-school. I had to plead guilty to minimize consequences. That should not have happened. In real life, women avoid men in public settings. HR-departments are egregiously anti-male. They are always looking for scapegoats, it's their job. The MeToo situation didn't help. If a woman points a finger at you, you're guilty until proven innocent. Look man, just say that you want to deflect everything on the man. It's fine, you're not abnormally dysfunctional when you do that.

'You should change yourself'. That's complaining. That implies that 'something is wrong with you. I don't even know what, but there is something wrong with you'. This is scapegoating. No, tell me. What is wrong with me?! What should I change about myself?! And why should I do it?! Sell that to me, please. I'm sick and tired of this scapegoating nonsense. How dare you do this.

Maybe learn to not create semantic problems before you give advice on loneliness.

That is not what 'simp' means. A simp means someone who parades around like a 'real man' to get women's approval rather than being in reality and talking about real problems. If only you applied your own advice...

Step 1 - when a man gets in your way when you fight toxic femininity, check for whether he's a simp. Because the only men who will get in your way are simps. So, stop putting up with simps in your men's social-circle. Then you'll get supportive men who will have strong character, who will actually have a constructive vision and who won't just preach to you that 'it's all your fault' and 'you're focusing on things that don't really matter'. Step 2 - Identify the type of woman who benefits from simps and avoid them. These women typically objectify themselves. Have no tolerance for this behavior in women. For this, first, you have to stop objectifying women yourself and you have to figure out how to make a sexually compatible relationship work with them. You do this, the women in your dating-pool will have zero tolerance for simps. Step 3 - Lead the women in your life to their authentic feminine expression. A lot of times, when women are truly feminine, they have Life-Purposes that center around solving these types of problems in the world. I have met such women and they care a lot more than immediate family. If your immediate family had solutions, you wouldn't be facing these issues to begin with. You grew up with these issues and you want someone who has mental-health wisdom to help you out with this. It's not as uphill as you think. These women often-times have an 'independence'-based relating-style. Which cannot possibly work long-term. It's not sustainable. The man is a simp in these situations and she's using him, for the most part. Men become simps because modern women have no role in their personal lives for men. This is a relationship-failure for women, even moreso than men. The average woman can't just sit around and do nothing about this, they have to become aware themselves and they have to figure out where men fit into their lives. No individual can solve this problem alone, everyone has to do something about it.

I have coined a term for this type of response. It's called 'benevolent emasculation'. That's what you're doing here. 'MaN uP BrO, aLl oF yOuR ProBleMs aRe ImAgInArY BrO'

This is bullshit. Maybe if they didn't avoid good men and actually talked to them, they'd be safer. Either someone is a threat, or they're not. What the fuck is 'potential threat'?! Use your brain-cells to evaluate whether someone is a threat or not, you idiot! (That's how I think when a woman needlessly avoids me) It's just my life-experience. And I don't go around saying that they deserve to be sexually assaulted, or that they deserve what's done to them. The first step to making it happen is to recognize that it's toxic femininity and to take a stand against it. Then, the next step is to figure out how to catch someone in the act of it and how to punish it. This will make the bullshitters avoid you and the ones who want to self-reflect and improve themselves stick around. You have to do this if you respect yourself and if you want to be respected in relationship. You have to do this ruthlessly. No mercy for women who scapegoat you and play victim-control dramas, even as a joke. They have to run from you. It's way better than them sticking around and actively ruining your mental-health. Let's deal with this first.

@Consept What you do about this is you get rid of the people enabling the situation, you discredit them so that they shut up about 'how it's all men's fault' and 'how toxic men are' and 'blah blah blah'. You moderate them online for man-hate. You boycott them in real life. You make them feel consequences for propagating dangerous ideologies. We have to protect ourselves when these people gaslight and scapegoat us. It has to be clear that what they're doing is wrong and they have to face consequences for it. So, call it 'toxic femininity' and take action against it.

It's not 'a few women'. The average woman avoids men on the streets. You have to search long and hard for a woman who actually has some compassion. If you got rid of the women who are pro-male-loneliness, men would feel emotionally safer to put themselves out there. Rejection would be a lot less hurtful and everything would work smoothly. We have to see who the real enemies are and we have to stop putting up with their shit. They are very comparable. Yes, the 'few' (it's not a few, actually, it's way too many to ignore) women saying that men deserve to be lonely are, in fact, the root-cause of male loneliness!! If we get rid of these people, then we have no problem.