mr_engineer

A lot of our arguments here have been stemming from a fundamental disagreement on this issue. So, I would like to give myself (and you) the opportunity to clarify this to yourself (and to us) - what does it mean to you to be 'good with women'? To me, this is what it means - to be able to spot women who are receptive to my love for them. When you have this definition, the biggest concern is to vet out those women who hate men. You have to hard-screen the self-proclaimed feminists for man-hate and you have to figure out why they hate men, so that you can run as far as possible from them. According to me, what is the point of dating? It is to find someone compatible, to enter a long-term relationship and start a family. I think that this is most women's idea of dating. This is why (no offense to you who may have a different dating-objective), women probably frown upon guys who learn 'game' and whose goal is to 'get laid'. And this is what they will hard-screen for. And, this is why 'neediness' and 'desperation' would be a red-flag. Because, to their eyes, you're 'thinking with your dick, not your head, when you're evaluating compatibility'. Because, honestly, I don't see any other reason why neediness would be a red-flag. Women want relationships just as much as we do.

A narcissistic man isn't ideal, sure, but he would be 'familiar'. Simply because the only way to relate with a narcissist is purely transactional and if you're a narcissist yourself, the 'no strings attached' aspect of it could appeal to you.

Honestly, it depends on the woman. If you are vulnerable about how you're feeling with the right women, they will 100% have empathy for you. If they don't, they're narcissistic and you can emotionally distance yourself from them. They will not complain about your 'emotional unavailability' anyways. A lot of women with daddy-issues grow up believing that men have no feelings at all, that men are these stoic narcissistic animals. Until they meet a man who is vulnerable with them about his feelings. Then they're able to be more empathetic. And, one final point - if they give you the 'man up' talk, that's benevolent emasculation. I talk about it on this thread:

Here's what I've found - be persistent with her (in an appropriate way). If she calls you 'creepy', she hates men. The reality is that she doesn't know anything about you. So, if she's using a man-hating slur on a guy she barely knows, she hates men. There I said it.

@Norbert Somogyi I understand your criticisms of my approach. I reflected on why I have this approach. And here's why. I believe that there is a lot of value in understanding how man-haters play victim-control dramas and get simps and white-knights to come to their rescue. They play on other people's protective instincts and weaponize it to demonize you and ruin your reputation. I have no mercy for this behavior and I think it is important to tell people that this kind of thing happens. Women are physically weaker than men and run greater risks on a physical level, face more threats on a physical level. It is very easy for some women to totally blame men for this, totally make men responsible for their safety and if you even look at them the wrong way, demonize you for it. This is not because 'women are more emotional', it's because they feel entitled to men being protective of them, because 'that's what a real man does'. So, on the one hand, when they see some men only being protective towards women they're sexually interested in, they think 'men only want sex, men are pigs who sexually objectify women' and you get this man-hating rhetoric. On the other hand, when they face actual issues with predators, they blame the good men for not doing anything about it and they equate 'nice guy' with 'weak guy' and you get that man-hating rhetoric. The way they practically deal with it is to become very controlling and enforcing of social norms and anyone who doesn't behave within those norms is a 'creep'. (Doesn't help them in dating, because only simps will play their game. Actually masculine guys don't play by their social rules, don't fall for the shit-tests, they set their own social rules.) And some of these women will even do actually despicable things to you, like falsely accuse you or play victim-control dramas in which they involve everybody else in your relationship and talk shit about you to them. The solution for them would be: Recognize that they need men to protect them, see through the BS of 'women don't need men', Stop being codependent in relationships and develop a sense of self, sexually, so that they stop putting up with narcissistic men, Develop a deeper understanding of masculinity and femininity so that they understand what's possible and what the true role of men is in their lives, Figure out how to be authentically feminine and make something work with the men who embody this version of masculinity. They're not hopeless cases by any means, they can fix this. We just have to recognize that this is the reality of a lot of women around us and focus on guiding them through this process, so that the quality of our own relationships improves and we get to have some sanity.

Yeah, it is realistic. If you want this long-term relationship to be loving, though, that's a different story. Then the traumas that they're coping with using loud music, booze, drugs and casual sex will get in the way.

That is what I'm doing. That is the entire problem, that they're co-operating with the wrong women. They have to figure out who they should co-operate with! If this is a 'theory' for you that can be 'proven wrong', fine, you don't have to buy it. There are those of us who have experienced it first-hand, though. We can't disprove our lived experience. I have met a lot of lovely ladies who basically agree with me. Who think that feminism has gone too far and that the anti-male movement must stop. This is an example of the pro-masculinity movement, when women side with men.

There is another mistake that men have made. And that is, to turn into such weak little simps (post women's sexual revolution) that we've spoiled the women, to the degree that women have no qualms coming on camera and saying 'the biggest problem with society is men'. Like, why does she have no fear of getting cancelled when she says that?! If I got on camera and said 'the biggest problem with society is women' (which, in case yall are wondering, I don't actually believe), I would get cancelled. This is the other side of the coin of the mistake men have made. Yes, they've regulated each other with BS rules that women have been emboldened to hold them to. But, what they've also done, is not regulate women at all! It's a double-standard that is a result of simping. And, women played into this by calling all fair criticism of women 'misogyny'. And, the simps bought into it. The result? You have OnlyFans girls who make millions off of simps who they themselves hate! It is true that women have faced some BS stigmas in the past. Having said that, the solution is not to eradicate all stigmas. Man-hate has to become the new stigma. We have to regulate women for this attitude. I don't care which shit-tests you use, I talk about one that I think works. But sniff it out and boycott them, abandon them, isolate them. They deserve nothing from you. Collectively, we have to crack down on it and take action against it.

Intuition is supposed to bring us together, not take us apart. The intuitive, healthy women that I've met don't use this word. Instead, they choose to take responsibility for how they feel. They don't use verbiage like 'they made me feel this'. They take responsibility for their own triggers. This BS is just man-hate. And how dare they ruin someone's reputation based on their own subjective feelings?! That cannot be healthy. We just have to not enable it and take a stand against it.

The fact that they're using this slander-term to describe you publicly, means that their morality entitles them to hate men and talk shit about men, be disrespectful towards men. I don't care what this term means to them privately. The fact that they're willing to pass a snap-judgement based on whatever limited data they have about you also proves that they're not interested in knowing what they're talking about and they're just looking for a confirmation-bias for their man-hating ideology.

And, I don't think that official stats will show you the full picture, or will be enough to show you the full danger of getting falsely accused. Any woman who is a people-pleaser is potentially dangerous. Because there are chances that she says 'yes' when she means 'no', she regrets it later on, she deflects that onto you, she resents you for it and one day, MeToo's you. And once she does that, you're guilty until proven innocent. Mainstream society will tear your image apart to shreds. All sex-crimes are 'guilty until proven innocent' by design. Because if someone complains against you, the authority-figure's question to you will be 'if she consented to you, why would she complain?!'

@something_else @Princess Arabia @Buck Edwards Relax, I'm not going MGTOW. I have had positive experiences with women, for sure, I'm not hopeless with women. It is precisely because I am hopeful of finding the right person, that I think that these vetting-processes will be worth it in the end. I understand that there are plenty of fish in the sea and I am aware of certain dangerous realities surrounding certain types of women. So, the logical thing to do is to vet your options. That's it. In fact, I think that vetting for this stuff is more important than vetting for shallow shit like boob-size or whether she's a bubbly extroverted person.

@something_else 'Man bad, woman good'.

Couple of points. It's not just that you don't want to date them. It's that you want to have nothing to do with them, you want to get the fuck away from them in all contexts. They are really dangerous and manipulative women and they can wreck your life if you have any long-term relationship with them, personal or professional. They're not fundamentally evil people. Some of them are well-intentioned. They rationalize the way they feel about men as 'I can fix him'. So, they will not vet you out, because they want someone to fix. They will stick around because they want to feel morally superior to you and they want other people's sympathy because they're 'putting up with you'. These are the worst kind of women to be in relationship with because they will destroy your moral self-confidence. There will be constant criticism, constant drama and constant fighting. Also, they will wreck your social image by talking shit about you behind your back, telling them that you're a 'narcissist, abuser, creepy', etc. Some of them will even falsely accuse you or divorce you and take all your money.

The entire 'I don't need no man' crowd hates men. I have met tons of women who hate men, actually. Maybe it's a cultural difference, but here, women are very vocal about it. One of them falsely accused me and another one almost ruined my future over it. Women who hate men will do nasty things to you and you want to run as far from them as you can. Being a loving human being does not guarantee success with women, you have to also be able to spot red-flags, vet out those women and find those who are receptive to your love.

When women say that 'If you have to tell us that you're nice, you're not nice'. This is a shit-test of your moral self-confidence. For some reason, they can't stand it when you affirm your moral goodness. I am very curious as to what this reason is.

Maybe pay attention to what I say over your feelings.

Did I tell you that I care?!

In comes the voice of God, declaring to me that 'I am insecure'. Because this is really getting boring. Don't engage, then.

@Bazooka Jesus @Sincerity Love the simping. And I'm the 'insecure' one.

The topic of this conversation implies judgement. So, if you have a problem with that, you can let us do the talking. Thanks. Okay, fine. There are some crazy women who do crazy shit. So what?! Is that the majority of women?! Are we talking about women who have more than a couple of brain-cells here?! Don't tell me what to do. Thanks.

That is a strange-loop. Reminds me of the Schrodinger's cat paradox. 'It's not true OR false, it's true AND false'!!

Trolls doing it for publicity. I mean, come on. You don't need an IQ of higher than 10 to realize that it's a bad idea.

If he was honest with women about how many women he's killed, would women want to be with him?! Notice the word 'authenticity' in my question. If you say 'I'm an asshole' to a girl you're on a date with and then you proceed to yell at the waiter 'hey fuckhead, get me a side of fries', that's you authentically being an asshole. Will a woman want to be with that?! All of this is propaganda by dating-coaches to confuse us and to sell their nonsense products. Just be a good person and next the women who don't want that. You'll be fine.

What if you have a Jack the Ripper character who is 'authentic'?! Would women want to be with him?! I don't care about women who are hellbent on proving to me that I'm an asshole. Because I'm not. So much for 'authenticity'. For the last time, what I do with my genitals is None. Of. Your. Business. It's starting to get weird and inappropriate that you keep bringing this up.