mr_engineer

That's why you gotta be ripped yourself. If you're ripped and you have a health-conscious personality, you can get with them very easily. You'll struggle if you don't look that good yourself and you aren't health-conscious yourself. Then you'll come across as weird to them. Start a yoga-class and partner up with someone with good business-acumen, then. Health-conscious businesses will be booming anyways.

With people-pleasers, you have one of two options. Either be a totally controlling narcissist who has zero feelings for her and who doesn't give a fuck about her. If she gives you BS, you tell her to shut up, you act abusive towards her. She'll placate you if you do that. Or, you say 'I'm not interested' and get the fuck away from her. If you date in a responsible way, where you allow her to express herself and you treat her with respect, she will stab you in the back. Because they have a lot of repressed anger for when they failed to stand up for themselves, so it'll come out on you. And don't even try to read the body-language/'signs'. This opens the door wide open for chameleon-like behavior on their part, which will hurt you in the future.

So you're telling me that if you're ripped and you go to a popular gym where all the hot Instagram-models hang out, you can't get with one of them? You know how hot yoga-instructors are, right?! Just go to a yoga-class and hit on women! (If you're ripped yourself)

@Emotionalmosquito What happened? Why did you get out of shape?

How physically fit are you? The more physically fit you are, the more you'll be able to do. Then, you will not bitch out of options in which you have to potentially work hard, you will work hard. Also, you will look better, helping you in dating. Cuz the reality is that in big cities, you will be competing against a lot of ripped guys. P.S. About the point on 'skills' - it takes a lot of hard work to build them. It is a grind. If you feel like it's too hard for you, I think you need to work on your physical fitness.

@universe I think we need to have a conversation about red-flags in women who could potentially falsely accuse you. Because, as important as it is to go and approach women, you also have to protect yourself from the bad ones. It's like saying 'yes, you gotta eat if you're hungry, but you shouldn't eat something that is poisoned, no matter how hungry you are'. One big one is people-pleasing. Where they say 'yes' when they mean 'no', then they regret sleeping with you, they blame you for it and falsely accuse you. Another one is that she's a feminist who hates men. If she's a feminist, she believes that 'men are inherently privileged', so, in her mind, she can justify ruining a man's life just for the heck of it. You have to watch out for these red-flags in your dating-life/when you approach women.

Of course, practically, you don't want to end up homeless. The thing, though, is that the fear of ending up homeless is something that prevents a lot of 9-5'ers from taking the leap of faith. They are so attached to security that no matter how much potential they see in their business, they will never quit their jobs, because 'security'. And 'if I screw it up, I end up homeless'. This fear is an issue of mental fitness and this would be something to work towards, as an entrepreneur. Let's say it's been a couple of years since you quit your job, you're doing alright in your business, and COVID strikes. And your business goes to shit. What will you do? Will you go back to working a job, cuz 'you gotta eat'? Or, will you be creative and do something else as an entrepreneur?

@universe So, you support women pressing charges on men for saving their lives? If you support the scapegoating of innocent men, by all means, lock this thread and silence us. First, you silence us, then you say that 'the percentage of false accusations is small'. Yeah, because you're silencing the falsely accused! Do you see the intellectual dishonesty in that?!

When you interact with any woman, figure out whether she's a feminist or a normal woman. If she's a feminist, don't help her. Give her the 'equality' that she's fighting you for. If she's a normal woman, do help her. And err on the side of caution, because authority-figures will not give you the benefit of the doubt. It's the same advice I'd give to a woman who's anxious about particular guys being 'potentially unsafe'. You have to figure out whether he actually is unsafe or not. If he is unsafe, avoid him/block him. If he's not, go to therapy. Today's feminism is a cynical, anti-male ideology and the type of women who gravitate towards it are women who have no self-worth when it comes to 'being worthy of men's protectiveness'. The 'independence'/'equality' talk is a cope for these self-worth issues. So, if you don't help them, it's not your failure to 'be a gentleman', it's their failure to be receptive to your help. Their self-worth issues are what they will actualize, when they actively hate on the gentleman. And, to be fair, their cynicism should disqualify them in your eyes anyways.

You have to guide them up the Spiral. They will not care about enlightenment until they start to really suffer due to the excesses of Stage Orange, until they become well-accomplished in at least one area of life.

I suffered from Oneitis when I was 13-14 years old. And, in hindsight, the reason was that objectively, she was the best option for me. Back then, I thought she was pretty smart. (She really wasn't, in hindsight, she was just the best option I had). Later on, at age 15, when I went to a different 'junior college' (For those who don't know, in India, we have 'junior college' in 11th and 12th grade), I had more and better options. Then, I never had this issue ever again. Moral of the story - you need to meet higher-quality women. If you're the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. This could not apply more when it comes to dating, especially when it comes to a lack of options. Because, that's the issue at hand. You're obsessing over one girl because you're feeling a scarcity of options. Potentially you're rationalizing to yourself that higher-quality options don't exist. And, I'm here to tell you - they do. You just have to go out and explore.

I have heard a lot of people say this and I don't agree with it. The underlying assumption is that the reality of who you are, as a man, is 'bad', whereas the reality of who you are, as a woman, is 'perfect'. And, in my opinion, this is simp-propaganda. Why should the man have to grow through criticism?! Why can't we get love and approval?! We deserve better treatment than to be kicked when we're down.

You're the one defending David Deida's illusion, in which he's forcing you to internalize criticism and self-hate and then attaching some 'spiritual meaning' to it. I'm here, trying to help you out of that illusion! 'Enjoy your friends' criticism'. I'm not hating on women. My honest opinion is that we should learn from women how to be kind to each other.

@flowboy Man bad, woman good. The content that trashes on men and says that 'you have to grow by criticism' is not toxic, oh no. It's the content that acknowledges your struggles and supports you through it - that's the real toxic content. Isn't it?!

Oh, please treat me like a woman. If that's what it takes to be cared about and listened to seriously, 'I identify as a woman'. You can be treated like dogshit, you can have people spit in your face and criticize you. I don't want that.

Man bad, woman good. If I had female parts, you would be singing a different tune. Don't you want men to be strong, to have credibility, to be loved and supported?! Don't you want men to be so strong that they can destroy anyone who gets in their way?! You simps only listen to a woman's word, right?! Here, have a look. This is serious.

@something_else I don't know what 'hatred' you're talking about. I don't hate them, I'm just recognizing the reality of how they operate and I'm figuring out solutions for it. Ah, all criticisms of women/feminists is 'misogyny'. That's the hatred. Man bad, woman good. @Spiral I love the theories you come up with about someone you only know online. Looks like you're the one spending too much time online and projecting that onto me.

I don't, actually. I would rather women just read my mind and knew how to treat me with respect. But, unfortunately, that's not how the modern world works. You have to teach women how to treat you with respect. (And feminists are immediately disqualified, cuz they barely see you as human, they see you as an evil monster just cuz you have man-parts) This is the solution to their daddy-issues. Once they learn it, then you can relax with them.

This is 'leadership'. You set the rules as the leader, cuz the initiative is yours. And, what I'm saying, is that you should set them according to your boundaries. There are a lot of women who criticize men for asking them 'what do you bring to the table?'. They say, you're supposed to directly set expectations and you're supposed to regulate us on whether we're meeting them or not! And that that's how you assert your boundaries. When you ask the table-question, that's a flip in polarity.

Of course, if you personally attack someone, anyone will be triggered. I'm talking about criticizing their actions, regulating their actions. It seems to be that women want that from men. And that feminists have brainwashed them into believing that 'that's toxic masculinity'. This is a right you get as a leader, not just as a 'man'.

In this podcast, they talk about why women criticize men. And, their conclusion, is that it works for women! Women would work on it immediately if you criticized them. But, to a man, it feels like a rejection. That's why it doesn't work for men. And no, you're not allowed to criticize feminist women, it's against their rules, cuz 'MISOGYNEE'. You don't criticize them, you take action against them. You boycott them.

That's not the problem at hand. (And, for the record, I don't demonize women.) The problem at hand is that we don't seem to agree on the level of delusion of feminism of the past 10 years. Even David Deida is not immune to this. Even he thinks that 'men grow by criticism, women grow by approval'. He's supposed to be at Stage Green, right?! He's seen as a better alternative to someone like Andrew Tate (which he undoubtedly is, don't get me wrong) but this is something that limits even him. Criticize the women for once. And watch them grow! That's all I'm saying. It's not 'demonization'. If you think that this is 'misogynistic', that's simp-conditioning. (By the way, the whole point of calling you 'misogynistic' is to condition you to be a simp, to put women on a pedestal, because women can do no wrong.)

In the past 10 years, it has been a reality in schools across the board that girls are given the 'you go girl' attitude and boys are told 'hold yourself back, you're inherently toxic'. None of you boomers get this, cuz you haven't seen this!! Then you tell me that 'I'm making this up'. And, of course, yall turn this into a dick-measuring contest. Ask any man below the age of 25, they'll basically agree that there is a war on masculinity. And no, we're not just 'bitching and moaning' about it, it is a real thing. If you tell me 'this is still bitching and moaning, I don't see a solution', I'll show you the solution. Step 1 - Recognize that when feminists say 'toxic masculinity', they're projecting their own toxicity onto you. They're the toxic ones! Especially in the last 10 years, it's gotten really toxic and everyone above the age of 30 keeps supporting it and everyone below this age keeps getting screwed as a result. Stop that, stop supporting them ideologically, in terms of actions, etc. Boycott them. Step 2 - Recognize that any man under the age of 25 who is a 'feminist ally' is basically a simp. Step 3 - Turn simping into the new taboo. In fact, you have to watch like a hawk how the mainstream conditions you to be a simp. Things like porn, things like 'believe all women', things like the rising popularity of OnlyFans and Instagram models, etc. Step 4 - Decode what feminists are saying and try to figure out what their agenda is. For example, when someone says 'I'm a feminist', they're telling you that they're a trash human being (and telling you that you're trash, i.e. projecting) and that you should stay away from them. I.e. They're taking the trash out for you. This will give you a real understanding of women and how feminists appeal to women, socially. 'Being a feminist' should unironically be seen as a mental disorder, that's based on delusion and you have to figure out what that delusion is and actively work to debunk those. We just call them 'crazy' in jest. Get more serious about that assessment, figure out the nature of their craziness. Step 5 - Figure out red-flags to vet them out in your dating-life. Once you figure out how their mind works, you can spot the red-flags from afar and you can vet them out easily. You want a woman who loves men, not someone who hates men. Don't put up with the 'equality' crap in your relationships because they will not let you lead, they will not let you take charge. And we can all agree that it's healthier when the man leads, that it's sexier. So, say no to feminists in dating. They say they 'can't find good men'? Good. That's what you deserve for being a feminist. Fix yourself, become more feminine or die alone. This is what you say to men, right?! This is what we say to you.

It's a line in David Deida's 'The Way of the Superior Man'. In fact, there is an entire chapter called 'Enjoy your Friend's criticism'. Also, in the book 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover', this was alluded to. A lot of masculinity coaches have really taken this to heart. This seems like a subconscious thing the West believes in general, actually. Because, when you talk about something you're going through which is a collective thing that the society could collectively work together to improve, what do you get told?! 'Grow up, man up, stop being a little bitch'. It's the whole benevolent emasculation thing, where they project their own lack of masculinity onto you and they make the whole thing about masculinity, they turn the whole thing into a dick-measuring contest.

The first thing I will tell you is that most people don't live a life of purpose. There is nothing abnormal about you if you feel like you don't have a purpose. Most people don't even get to this point, where they see the meaninglessness of life. They think they have a purpose, but this purpose is defined for them externally. It's, say, getting good grades, or getting a promotion in their corporation, or getting married and having kids. Secondly, I remember feeling like this at the end of my second year of engineering, where I went for an internship at Honda motors. It was very shitty, in terms of lifestyle. It was an hour-long commute, the environment was really dead and boring, it was a manufacturing-line. I didn't see human beings there, I saw robots. I saw that if I don't change my trajectory in life, I will end up working at this big corporation, where, my observation about them was 'they are wasting their life for money'. And, this is the best-case scenario. Up until this point, I was a total square on the career-front, I had never tried anything new, I had never even entertained the thought of 'what is it like to be an entrepreneur' or 'what is it like to be an artist'. Mentally, it was too far outside the box for me. I basically had two options, practically speaking. Either I continue down this path, or I get into research and prepare for grad-school. I chose the latter option and I started putting in some serious work to make it happen. And I made it happen. I didn't particularly find my purpose there either, but this was the start of the process of finding it. Consider what you're experiencing a 'call to a Hero's journey' so to speak. And this Hero's journey, is finding your purpose. If making music or drawing is too far outside the box for you, just focus on transitioning your niche in your job for now, into something that aligns more with your personality. That will give you an idea as to what value you (by 'you', I mean, who you really are, not what the system says you are) are capable of offering to the world. That will also probably be scary, you will probably have naysayers even on that front.