mr_engineer

Mr. Lawyer, in order to make something a crime, you have to be able to prosecute it. And, in order to prosecute it, you have to be able to define 'proof' for it. Ultimately, it is a label. If you get to take on a label and become a part of a group, is it 'pretending' anymore?! I don't think so. You may have different motivations, but you can't persecute someone for that, right?! My profile-pic is a troll-face. What do you expect from me?! Lol.

DON'T MISGENDER ME!! ARRRR!!! HOW DARE YOU MISGENDER ME?!?!?! *points finger aggressively at you* This is not my personal agenda!! I am fucking non-binary!! Cancel @Buck Edwards for misgendering me. They are a homophobe.

It's kinda funny how everyone is parroting the exact same bullshit. My question is - who paid them? It's almost like an AI-software was told 'make invalidating social-media posts about men's loneliness' and then, this is the reality being presented to us on the internet. I am not looking for advice here. Especially, if your advice is 'spend less time on the internet', you can keep that to yourself. I know. The intent here is to discuss the root-causes of the belief-system of these bots, that is fuelling men's self-hate. Who hurt these people?!

Then they're the TERFs and they deserve to be cancelled. So, push for their cancellation! Also, how dare they misgender me?! My pronouns are they/them!!

I cannot express how happy and satisfied I'm feeling right now, because I've found a way to stay out of the firing-line of feminists. This is the best solution to feminism. Just identify as non-binary. Job done. This weapon works.

@Buck Edwards If you're against those evil men getting jobs, that's understandable, cuz they have 'toxic masculinity'. But, why are you against us poor little non-binaries getting jobs?! That's homophobic!! Even we need jobs!! This is peak brilliancy. Checkmate, feminists.

Ah, so 'hatred' is not an emotion, or an action. It's an 'opinion'. Got it.

This is homophobic. You are attacking a non-binary person. And, to address your point, I like Brett Cooper. There's your counter-example, I don't hate women.

@omfar001 Here's a cold hard reality. As a man, to get the respect from men in most cultures (including the West, by the way), your serious romantic partner must be a so-called 'good girl', who is fully platonic in public. Forget about cheating, forget about flirting with another guy, forget even about posting pictures. If she even wears anything sexy in public, other men will judge you. Some of them will try to steal her from you, cuz they think they can. The West/most urban areas of the world are more accepting towards women who are sexy in public, they don't judge women for not being married past a certain point anymore, it's friendlier towards women. But, the moment you decide to get into a serious relationship and start a family, all of the religious expectations come back. There are good and bad reasons for this perception. The good reason is that if your woman is sexual (not sexy, sexual) in public, this means that her sexual personality isn't being expressed in the relationship with you. So, this is a real chance for them to steal her from you. They may do it, she may cheat on you and you may lose her, because you weren't paying attention/your game wasn't good enough. The bad reason, of course, is that they are sexually repressed, they have religious conditioning that taboos sex and sexiness in people's personalities and all of this amounts to them seeing sexy women as a 'distraction'. They believe that sexiness in women is a net negative for society, because it's 'distracting for men', so they will judge you for not controlling her enough. And they will also tend to idolize and pedestalize the 'good girls'. These are the slut-shamers. I won't tell you what to do about this. I will tell you my boundaries with women and why I have them: If she thinks that another guy is hot - that's totally natural and normal. It shows me what she likes/doesn't like and if I can find a way to give that to her in the relationship, we're set. And, if this makes me insecure, this is fully my problem and if I go to therapy for this, it will be on my own/I won't take her with me. If she flirts with another guy - that's bad behavior. If it goes against my boundaries in some way, I will regulate that behavior in her and I will ask her why she's doing that, I will hold her accountable for it. I will help her resolve whatever it is so that it doesn't happen again. It's not a threat to the relationship, it's just problematic behavior and it should be regulated. And, if she gives me shit like 'you're so insecure, you can't take a joke here or there', that won't fly. Cuz I won't find it funny. If she expresses to me that she's more attracted to another guy than she is to me/she wants him more - this is a serious issue. This will seriously break my trust in her and it will make me question the foundation of our relationship/why we got into it to begin with. This is where we go to couples-therapy and we re-evaluate the relationship-status. It's still possible to salvage the relationship, but there are no guarantees. We would be back to the dating-stage, we'd probably be 'taking a break' from each other. My mind would still be open to getting back with her, because she was honest and she didn't cheat. If she cheats (in any way, shape or form, whether it was just a kiss or a full-blown side-relationship) - the relationship is done. This shows me that cheating/adultery/dishonesty is acceptable to her morality, therefore we don't morally align. This is a proof of incompatibility. (I'm gonna say 'incompatibility' cuz you may have some polyamorous fantasy in which these things are acceptable, and I don't want to shame you for that.) She needs to figure out her morality in relationships. I will wish the best for her, I will wish that she figures it out and finds someone suitable in the future. But, I will not want to trust her, it would not be rational to expect me to trust her or have any respect for her. Cuz it shows weakness of character on her part. Communication is key. And before that, you have to figure out where you stand on this issue. HTH.

Then move cities. You need a more liberal environment to do this. And, in less populated environments, you're not going to find men who will submit to you. Because the survival-conditions are harder, so the hierarchy-system between the sexes will not work out in your favor in these environments.

Then go on a dating app/fetlife. Online dating is for you. DM whoever you want, you're set.

Very easy. Figure out what role you have for a man in your life. Look for men who can play that role. Go to them and ask them for 'help'. For example, if you'd like a man who can lift you when he makes love to you, go to a buff dude and ask him to help you carry stuff. Thank him and give him a compliment as you do. If he picks up on the hint, you're set.

@Rafael Thundercat The biggest reason women are attracted to bad boys is because of movie-conditioning. A movie's hero has a six-pack, smokes cigarettes and 'protects her from bad guys' by physically taking them on. This is a cultural definition of 'masculinity' that everyone is being conditioned with. Another big key is that if she has self-worth issues/body-image issues (because of movie-conditioning of what a woman should look like) coupled with an emotionally unavailable daddy in childhood, she's going to have a strategy of using sex to get a man to be emotionally available. (Because it works in movies.) So, if a spiritual man acts loving and emotionally available towards her, she will wall him off and reject him because he's not acting narcissistic and selfish and looking to use her for his pleasure! Cuz that's the idea of what a 'man' is, that her father conditioned her with. This is the problem at hand. So, what's the solution? You have to recognize that all of these cultural ideas of 'masculinity' are patriarchal and that these are the ways in which the patriarchy benefits you. When you see that, you will see where this leads and what your future holds, if you keep going in this direction. You have to see the religious roots of these ideas of 'masculinity' and why religious authorities designed it like this, for collective human survival. (If you're a spiritual woman, you can see this bigger picture.) When you see this, your ideas of 'masculinity' will come into question and you will start to open your mind to alternative ideas of 'masculinity', which are based on New-Age spirituality and which hold authenticity as a core value. You ask yourself the question - In an ideal world, what role would men play in my life? And, what would his value-system be, why would he do what he does? Because you've learned about masculinity and you've seen real-life examples of them, you will know who aligns with your values and who doesn't. And, because you know the traumas you've gone through, you will know what you need from men. This way, you will be honest about what you want from men and your expectations will be realistic. Then, you ask yourself - how would a compatible relationship work with me? If you know the kind of man you want, then you can answer this question. And, if he has the right value-system, you should be able to convince him. And, once you can do that, your daddy-issues will start to get resolved, because your self-worth issues will start to get resolved. And once that happens, you can start to question your attraction to bad boys and you can psychologically wean yourself off of them. Potentially with your man's help. TLDR: She needs to develop a better understanding of men and masculinity. That's the solution for her.

India. First, please explain to me whether your idea of 'love' is a consensus or not. Then, once we've established that, when you explain this statement, I will probably understand what you're saying.

I'm getting an error message like this: "Video unavailable The uploader has not made this video available in your country"

How many laughs do you usually get when you say something like this about romantic love? If you get more laughs than not, most of them agree with you. The reason I'm asking this is that if this is the consensus on 'romantic love', that's incredibly scary. 'Romantic love' is different from absolute love. It's a human idea of love between two individuals who choose to be in a committed relationship.

Is this what most of the world thinks 'romantic love' is? Out of curiosity?

Find a way to involve her in your business. (Officially or unofficially, depending on what she wants.)

The 'nakedness' that you see is a symbol of asceticism/monkhood. In India, people who want to dedicate their lives to the pursuit of God leave civilization, go to the forest and spend all day every day meditating, without caring about where they'll get food, water or shelter. They say that synchronicities happen for their needs to get met. In Hindu religion, when you touch someone's feet/bow down the way Modi is doing, you are showing them your reverence for them. And, it is customary in the religion to show reverence to monks/ascetics.

If you look at your life/your childhood, you may see that you are missing individuals in your life who had certain feminine qualities/abilities. 'Romantic love' from the male perspective is felt towards women who have those feminine qualities. By the same token, 'romantic love' from the female perspective, is felt towards men who have certain masculine qualities, which they specifically need individuals in their lives to have. These are the type of individuals you will be drawn towards.

Whatever you do, don't have a God-complex. Never ever justify anything you do by saying 'I'm enlightened and they're not', never think that being enlightened makes you better than anyone else. It does not. And, if someone tells you that you have a God-complex, take that criticism very seriously. If you get really good at what you do, you can tune out all the other criticism. But not this one. This is something that only other people can tell you. Only other people can tell you whether you're acting out of a God-complex or whether you're actually grounded in reality.

It's about connection, love, empathy.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/invalidating-you Leo, I have a question for you. What did you hope to achieve by saying this?! From society's perspective, telling someone who is suffering that their suffering is an illusion, is a mean thing to say. Try going to a funeral and telling people that the deceased person who they're cremating 'never existed to begin with' and watch how they react.

Masculinity, fundamentally, is about giving. That's why Life-Purpose is core to masculinity. It is about actively giving and sharing your gift with the world. Culturally, masculinity is about achievement. Which is a problematic thing to believe, for yourself and for others. It gives rise to an immature dick-measuring contest which, broadly speaking, is the materialistic rat-race. It leads nowhere, there is no end to it.

Please don't. I say some offensive shit here. I would much rather you laugh it off and move on.