mr_engineer

@Princess Arabia @Buck Edwards The shame-tactics that you're currently using, have literally cost yall this election. So, if you think your behavior didn't have consequences, you're wrong.

Well, I guess progressives gonna learn the hard way. Progressives have had a lot of chances to learn the easy way, but they didn't take those. Now, have fun with Trump in the white house!

There has been some talk about 'you have to go out to know what socially calibrated behavior is'. Here's my question - who makes the rules of what we define as 'socially calibrated behavior'? Why do we have to give someone else the right to define that for us? I prefer to make my own rules on this front and I prefer to be the judger of other people's social-calibration, not the other way around.

@Buck Edwards The behaviors that you described are flat out unethical. If you just follow the golden rule (do unto others as you wish for others to do unto you), you won't end up doing these behaviors. With or without 'social calibration'.

@something_else Then how do you objectively decide whether someone is 'socially calibrated' or not? Which social rules do you hold them to, in order to figure this out?

The entire world includes me, right?! So, here's what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna set the rules of social-calibration for you. If you don't follow those rules, I'm gonna be upset. Okay?!

Who is this 'society'? Which country is this person named 'society' from? Which government does this person work in?

And, who's the authority on 'society's definition' of social-calibration? Does anyone have a clear idea as to what it is, or is everyone just making this stuff up?!

'Socially uncalibrated' by whose definition?

This doesn't answer the question, though.

If someone is judging you for being socially uncalibrated, you have an incentive to 'work it out'. The incentive is 'fitting in'. However, if you're the one who's judging other people's level of social-calibration, what incentive do you have to 'work it out'?! You can just tell those who are 'uncalibrated' - these are my rules for you, so adapt or suffer. Right?!

Okay, so then who decides it? If there is an unpleasant interaction, who decides whose fault that is? And, who decides who's the socially uncalibrated one in that interaction?

And, what even is the point of 'being socially calibrated'? Is it to show off to others how socially calibrated you are?! If you're able to be authentic and connect with other people, the job is done, right?! Or, does all of this have to happen in a way that's 'acceptable to society'?!

Could you please use different words to explain this?

To those of you who consider yourselves as 'not having been socially calibrated' previously, and 'now you are socially calibrated' - why did you allow other people to define the social rules that you follow? Why didn't you just behave authentically and let the chips fall where they may?

In the past, I'd made this thread: where I conclusively debunked the idea of 'creepiness'. What I found is that if you hold women accountable for their own social comfort-levels, the idea of 'creepiness' stands no ground. This got me thinking, though - why is this myth so popular, socially? Why is it so popular to call men 'creeps', not giving a damn about how it affects his feelings, how it psychologically damages him? And, here's what I saw - there is a massive double-standard when it comes to who's held responsible for their own levels of social comfort. If you're a man, you are responsible for your own comfort-levels. No matter how much you've been bullied in school, how traumatized you are, your comfort-levels are your responsibility. You have no feelings, no emotions, your feelings and emotions should not be affected by what others do at all. If they are, that's your fault. Nobody gives a shit, and this is not a problem. This is 'just the way things are'. But, if you're a woman, now, your feelings and emotions are everyone else's fault, not your own! No matter what psychological issues you have and are projecting onto others, you can do no wrong, socially. If you have a social issue, that is necessarily someone else's fault, you can't do anything about it. Everyone else has to fix it for you, society has to change for you. Thoughts?

Blah blah blah talk from a woman who can't hold her abusers accountable. A woman who can't hold her abusers accountable is talking about 'bonding with good men'. Lol.

I'm not saying that she can't protect herself from her abusers. All of you are saying that! Just get out of your own way and take action, on this front. That's my entire point.

The way I learned to hold others accountable is by first holding myself accountable! I really have come a long way, you can learn something from me. (If you want to, that is)

You can't even stand up for yourself. So, let the other women go and just focus on doing that. As for the name-calling, only someone who's hateful would do that.

It's called 'holding someone accountable for what they do'. I'm respectful but I don't take shit for no reason. I'm respectfully holding you accountable.

She can go to the police, file a complaint, sue the guy. Women have rights.

You seem to be implying that I deserve it, like I've done something wrong. What wrong have I done?! Oh, I'm a man, so I'm a 'creep'. Because you hate men. Got it.

I am being respectful to you by telling you that you can fight for your rights, you have all these options. Besides, I'm not calling you any names like 'creep' or the b-word, I'm simply holding you accountable for what you're doing. This is respectful treatment. You may not know that, that's why I'm educating you.

It is so easy to screenshot whatever nonsense this guy has sent and post it on twitter with #MeToo. Women have so many options! There are genuinely empowered women in the world who will not take shit from any man. Maybe you need to learn a thing or two from them. You are telling me that 'you won't land a woman', like you're giving me a curse. Oh, so now the woman who can't hold abusers accountable is talking about 'respect'. Have you heard of self-respect?!