mr_engineer

Dude, the point of cryptos is that people use them, but the point of pissing in the sea is not to raise the sea level. The more people use them, the more people use them.

The more people use a crypto, the more the crypto gets promoted.

Here's my answer - it's when you figure out what you uniquely have to offer to women. This will be your competitive edge against other men when it comes to getting hot women. The advantage of figuring this out is that you can edge out the white-knights and simps. You can use some brute-force and edge of personality to accomplish this, if you know what you have to offer to women. You will be confident with women and in dealing with simps, especially, if you base it on this. The simps are the crabs in the bucket when it comes to improving your game/being yourself with women. They try to set the rules of the dating-game for you. They're not playing by the rules, they try to undercut the genuine, authentic guys in various kinds of underhanded sneaky ways. For example, being male feminists, having positions of power that they use to favor women over men, etc. This is how you successfully deal with them.

I think there are two biggest factors. Whether or not the man is willing to do everything in his power to ensure her well-being or not, i.e. whether he's ready to commit (This is the definition of 'readiness' according to me, by the way, is whether or not you're willing to do it), and Whether or not there is compatibility between what the man wants to do for her and what the woman wants from him. There I said it.

A lot of the semantic gaps in dating between men and women stem from this difference. Men define 'commitment' as - What you 'do' for someone. And women define 'commitment' as - The level of responsibility you take for a person's well-being. So, what is the real definition of 'commitment' in a cis-het romantic-relationship? My definition is - It's a combination of both. Commitment means - to do everything in your power to ensure the other person's well-being.

Doing it online is alright, it's not too bad. In order to really resolve this, though, you have to do this face-to-face. There are a couple of reasons for this. Your fight or flight response will go to a whole another level in real life, maybe because you were bullied in the past for being 'sensitive'. And you must face that. You could actually make good friends in real life by doing this in real life. Your dating-life could actually move forward by doing this.

If you need help being vulnerable in front of others, have you tried group therapy? I would go to this meetup in which we played this card-game called '100 meaningful questions'. We would just go there to be vulnerable and share ourselves with the group and they'd be present. That's what it took for me to have a breakthrough on this front. If you don't have some such opportunity, I'd highly recommend group therapy.

For a long time, this idea of 'creepiness', in which men are randomly labelled as 'creepy' didn't make sense to me. I had a number of questions, like Why do women feel fear in response to this behavior? Why do women blame men for their fear-response, instead of looking at themselves and figuring out why they feel that way? Most importantly, why do men have to change their behavior, instead of women being told to change their mindset around the idea of 'creepiness'? Here's the explanation. There are too many women in the world who don't believe in direct communication. Meaning, not only do they not directly communicate their desires and expectations and not only do they think it's okay to not communicate directly - they think that it's the right way to communicate, to have uncommunicated expectations. And, they think that this is how everyone communicates. Now, when they see a man behaving in a way that is 'weird' or 'out of the ordinary' or giving them attention that they don't understand, they project this lack of direct communication onto the man. Meaning, they project an 'uncommunicated intent' onto him. This projection of the 'intent' is what 'creeps them out'! Because you triggered these feelings, they have already demonized you, on a rational level. Now, they're just going to look for reasons to destroy you. (And not bat an eye in doing so.) They're going to call on their army of simps and then the army of simps will take you out. This is the problem. The army of simps will believe whatever story they make up and then you're toast.

I think I will consider this idea of 'creepiness' debunked. Mods, you can lock the thread now. Male sexuality ftw!

That's what intellectual-honesty means. You are logically sound. It is a value of the forum. I'm not trying to control the forum's value-system, it is Leo's biggest value here.

Thank you. Buddy, I am dealing with it. I'm testing the integrity of your solutions here first, then if I don't like them, I'll experiment with other solutions. Relax.

Buddy, I have done all of the shadow-work and the OP was the result of it. It's very insightful, if you really have a close look at it. The solution to the problem really is to debunk this idea of 'creepiness' altogether, using logic and facts. They have to answer it in a logically sound way.

Do you agree, then, that being 'creepy' isn't inherently bad? The judgement just doesn't make logical sense. That's all I'm saying. Last I checked, the guys who are getting laid don't give a shit about how they come across or about others' feelings. And, this works out for them. So, if I'm not 'taking responsibility' for 'not making women feel creeped out' or I'm not agreeing with your opinions, that shouldn't hold me back with women, right?! The forum does have to live by intellectual-honesty, because it's Leo's top value. It's healthy to hold each other to this standard.

Yeah. So, what I'm saying, is that if they have these feelings, it's their responsibility and they don't get to blame men for the feelings and call the man 'creepy'. And, men shouldn't have to change their behavior around women's triggers. Does that make sense to you? Or, are you going to paint that as '@mr_engineer not taking responsibility'?

No, I'm looking for answers that make logical sense. So far, they haven't made logical sense. That's the reality.

When women say 'I feel creeped out', is that them expressing feelings, or stating facts? You want to earn the respect? Answer this question.

This entire thread is me working with the trigger. The trigger for me, was that the idea didn't make sense. So, I came to the esteemed forum to see what explanations yall had. And, I have not been impressed.

I thought the forum also had a commitment to truth and intellectual-honesty. Make it make sense. Then, I'll consider 'improvement' by your program.

At least, you're thinking about what I'm saying. That's a good sign.

The 'blame' that you're talking about, is called 'holding the other accountable for their feelings'. Basically, I recognize the reality that certain individuals trigger certain feelings in certain women. Now, the way they react to it, is they make that person the problem for triggering those feelings, by calling them 'creepy. What I'm doing, is saying that 'No, it's not their fault for triggering the feelings, it's your responsibility to do some shadow-work and work with that trigger, because they're your feelings'. Also, are you saying that 'feeling creeped out' is not a feeling? That it's 'my ideas of their feelings'?! Come on, it's a literal feeling-word! Buddy, the 'toxic masculinity' rhetoric has gotten so out of hand, with the MeToo shitshow, that male sexuality has almost become taboo. And the explanation?! 'Creepiness'.

The payoff is to debunk this idea of 'creepiness', to remove shame from male sexuality. Wait a second. We should be concerned with others' feelings, or else, that's narcissism. I'm not saying we shouldn't be concerned about women's feelings. I'm saying that we have to fix the interpretation so that the stigmas around male sexuality go down. I will defend my right to not care about others' feelings, though. Narcissism should not be a crime. I just wouldn't advocate for narcissism either. If you don't prove what you're saying by quoting me talking about my feelings, this is bullshit. Okay, simp.

Where did you see me talk about my feelings here? Quote the post. Whose feelings are we talking about, when we talk about the idea of 'creepiness'? Context, dude.

Kay, fine. Only men have to take responsibility, women are perpetual "oppressed victims" of the "evil oppressor men". You happy now?! Everything about women is my responsibility. Their thoughts, their feelings, their emotions, their actions, everything.

Dude, women feel 'creepiness'. Their feelings, their responsibility. Not mine! They're the ones blaming men for their feelings of 'creepiness' here. And I detail how that works in the OP. Or, do you believe that only men have to take responsibility and women get to play the victim as much as they want?

I was talking to @hoodrow trillson, not you. Maybe you did decide for yourself, but he didn't intend for you to do so.