mr_engineer

That's why you make your own life easier, by banning the words yourself. There is no point in calling someone 'creepy' or 'unlovable' or 'toxic'. Men have to unite against the usage of these words, we have to taboo them. They should be seen as the equivalent to the 'N-word' for Black people, because they are.

But calling them 'creeps' and 'toxic men' doesn't solve anything, right? You have to get to the bottom of why you felt 'creeped out' or what 'toxic behavior' the person (not 'man', person) was doing, so that you can solve something.

If this is not a personal attack, I don't know what is. You don't know jack shit about me and you're telling me that I'm being 'socially inadequate'. I don't trust you people to help me 'develop myself'. That's a lot of power I don't wish to give you people, because of the assumptions and personal-attacks. Right now, the point of discussion is about the ground-rules of dating-discourse. What I'm saying is that because 'creep' is an ad-hominem attack in bad faith, it shouldn't be a part of dating-discourse. What do you think of that?!

The reason I'm having this conversation is that I want to make a suggestion. And here it goes - If we just ban the words 'creep/creepy' and 'toxic masculinity' from dating-discourse, everyone's lives will be better. What do you think of this suggestion?

The fact that all of you resorted to personally attacking me, saying that 'I'm not going out and talking to women' or 'I'm not getting laid' or 'I'm giving my power away to women' or 'I'm socially inadequate' or 'I'm complaining', already tells me that I've won the argument. You people are saying any nonsense about me, just to deflect from the main points I'm making. I don't need your 'help', I never asked for it. Why should I trust what you have to say, when you're making these assumptions about me?! Why should I assume that you're being objective about other things, if you can't even be objective about me?! The reality is that you don't know ANYTHING about me. ANYTHING. I'm fully anonymous on here. Everything you're saying about me is assumed.

When you call someone this word, you're essentially saying that they don't deserve love, that they're unlovable. It's akin to the N-word for Black people, it's a sexist slur. My request to the mods is to recognize it as such and to regulate the forum for this anti-male sexism.

Yall can't resist personally attacking me, can you?!

Actually, I'm looking at whether you can come up with rational objections to what I'm saying, before I actually say these things to women. So far, I haven't seen any. Maybe I will say these things to women! It is.

Point taken.

Again, don't make this personal. This is an intellectual discussion.

Don't personally attack me on an intellectual discussion.

I'm doing R&D for exactly that, seeing how you respond to me saying 'how about we make this word a taboo?'. I'm looking at whether you have any rational objections to this rule!

Don't make this personal, this is an intellectual conversation.

Maybe women make the rules in getting laid. But, in relationships, men make the rules. Time to up our standards as men!

This is the textbook definition of 'narcissist' - A person who only cares about themselves and has no concern for others. When men creep-shame other men, we enable this rhetoric of 'you are unlovable'. The more we unite against this rhetoric, the more we will be able to leave behind unloving women, the more loving the mothers of our children will be, and the better future our society will have.

There's another word for it. It's called 'narcissist'. And narcissism is not illegal. It's normal, actually.

If men start standing up for themselves and stop putting up with being called 'unlovable', they will stop marrying unloving women. That's why.

Or, it means they aren't experienced enough. No, I'm not conflating anything. In relationships, your comfort-levels are your responsibility. If you feel uncomfortable with something in the relationship, are you going to demonize the other person and call them 'unlovable'? Right, it's not well-defined. This is why I think we need to stop using a word that tells people that they're unlovable. But, if those reactions involve calling someone unlovable, that's a red-flag, right?! I talk about the projection of 'uncommunicated intent' on this thread:

What if they don't say 'no', they just call you a 'creep'? And, what if they're doing this, not as an assertion of boundaries, but as an assertion of moral-superiority over you? To insult you deliberately? There are crazy people who are not okay with the narrative that 'the Earth is round'. Does this make the mainstream 'creepy', then?! You can't regulate everything you're not okay with, you can only regulate what's illegal. Manners are well-defined, 'creepiness' is not. How do you regulate it, then, in a way that's not hypocritical? Is there a systematic way to regulate it? Because if there isn't, you're telling someone that their authentic personality is unlovable. Is that okay to you? If you have a fear of heights, this is your problem, right?! Are you going to blame the builders for building high-rise buildings, for 'invoking that fear in you'? No, right?! You're going to learn to deal with it, right?! Same thing here.

I'll tell you why this word should become a taboo. It's because 'creep' implies 'scary individual' or 'unlovable individual'. Because fear is the opposite of love. So, in the name of love, let's taboo this word! This will also promote true femininity, which stands for love, not fear.

Incels generally call themselves that, whereas 'creep' is something that others call you because they're projecting their fears onto you. Fears that have been caused mostly by the media, by repeatedly reporting about school-shootings and rape-cases. And by horror movies.

What if it's authentic to you? And people just have emotional-issues, which is why they're reacting negatively to it? It's not a boundary-violation of any kind, they're just paranoid. 'Creepiness' that's not also criminal, is generally not a boundary-violation. It boils down to people's fears. Cuz boundary-violations are criminalized. How would you teach this to a school kid, then? Threatening is criminal behavior, actually. Aren't their fears their problem? And, 'unpleasant' is subjective, right?

What behavior?! 'Crime' is well-defined, so we don't taboo this word. But, 'creepy behavior' is not well-defined. As mentioned on this thread: That's more like it. The word 'creepy' is not well-defined, though. It just causes unnecessary confusion and destroys men's self-esteem. 'Weird' is a better word to describe the behavior. Slapping is a crime. 'Creepy behavior' is not. Again, what behavior? Be more specific.

How am I offending others?! They're the ones using the swear-word of 'creepy'. That's offensive and that's what we have to taboo. It's just this word that's the problem. If we stop using it, all the problems will be solved.

Exactly my point.