Hello everyone!
I don't quite sure that this post belongs to this forum, so I'm sorry if it's unrelated.
I'm 17, a highschool student in my final year. for the past 3-4 years I've been quite unhappy. I don't know why, just life in general has been stressful to me and I haven't found a real passion in life or an ambition.
So about a year and a half ago I fell in-love with a girl from my class. Suddenly life has become a lot more alive and fun, but also a lot more stressful and full of anxiety, obsession, and suffering, I am an introvert, so making a move with this girl was a big challenge for me and I didn't do anything about it. This whole situation began right before summer break, and because I didn't ask for her number or anything, the whole vacation I spent alone in my house. During that time I began to feel depressed and I really regretted not doing anything about this girl. School began again and I started feeling better because I got to see her again. To make it brief, most of that year was full of suffering, jealousy, obsession, and stress, but I also felt really happy and joyful when she payed attention to me and talked to me(btw she is quite shy aswell). This was the time I found out about enlightenment and non-duality and I thought that it would be the solution to my problem. Anyway, in the last month of school we started to talk more and we started to talk on the phone and eventually hung out with each other and date. I felt like I was dreaming, finally my dream came true to be with this girl. This was the best period of my life in a while. I thought that I found my true love. I really loved her.
But something happened and after two months of being together during the summer break, she broke up with me. I was really devastated. I couldn't eat for a week, she was always on my mind. This was one of the worst time in my life. Then school started again after the summer break and it was horrible. I was really suffering and I didn't know what to do because I've been seeing her almost every day since then.
Now, almost 7 months later, I still suffer a lot because of this. Maybe it because I'm young or because she was my first girlfriend, but this suffering is too much. She was my first real love and I just can't recover from it. I still genuinely believe that I can only be happy with her and that we need to get back, but that wouldn't solve anything. I really want to change this core belief about my happiness, but I just can't get out of it. The non-dual teaching and enlightenment doesn't really work for me with this subject. I ask for your advice of this matter and what do you thing should I do about it. I want to stop suffering...
Thanks in advance for everything
