Alta

@Thought Art As I now understand, kundalini awakening is about taping to our primal we could say nature. I just did Osho's dynamic meditation wich consist of 5 different activities, and I would say that it was super epic. The music really dictates the meditation, as it guides you through all of these things that relate to your innate being. At some point my body started twitching and swirling, and I heard that it is the case, but still I dont really understand how that happens lol, its just so interesting. Thanks for the share, I'll keep my practice. How much time before the kundalini awakening you was doing the practice?

Before my experience I would've thanked Leo for everything he is doing, but now I'm aware that I would be thanking only a figment of conciousness (quite an accomplishment as a teacher eh?(I mean Leo) ) Trip location was in nature As before I ate 1g of shrooms, waited 1 hour for them to kick in. After one hour effects started showing themselves, but they were very weak (my goal was not to explore conciousness, but to improve and gain some insights about my life, so even for this goal the effects were super weak). Then I decided to take some more, and in total I ate about 2 grams. Again 1 hour passes and not even a single difference in my state of awareness, I was getting pissed off and sad, but acknowledged that probably my tolerance was too high, as only 4 days has passed from my previous trip. I laid down and now here where all the fun begins. My mind slowly became confused, it was so subtle that I didn't even noticed it initially, until a lot of time I finally realized that something weird is definetly happening. It felt uncomfortable, and I thought maybe shrooms finally started to kick in and decided to observe the effects. I couldn't make sense at all wether I'm feeling something or not, I was feeling so confused to the point of where I couldn't understand wether I am actually confused or not. My mind started to lose grip with reality. Every action, thought and feeling didn't make any sense. It was irrelevent wether I'm doing or thinking something. My understanding went from black and white to grey and even past that. I noticed a strong desire to quickly make sense and find out of what was happening, but everything just didn't compute in me. I wasn't able to connect any dots. I wasn't calm, but I also wasn't disturbed by the experience. All I knew is that I couldn't know anything in the moment. My mind was going in loops of trying to understand what I was trying to understand. Everything was a mess and even an idea of a mess was so far for me. Good and bad was a nonsense as every other duality. I decided to find answers on this forum and stumbled upon another trip report where someone experienced non-dual madness. I thought maybe I am too in this state of madness, but it also didn't make any sense. I noticed that people recommend surrendering. I tried to surrender, but as everything else, the idea of surrendering doesnt make any sense, and I just couldn't do that. Not that I was afraid, but nothing was happening when I tried to surrender, just madness that I couldn't end or escape. I turned off my phone and decided to fully experience this state, without any desire to end it. Some more hellish time spent in that state, until I started hallucinating where my imagination would override the physical world. I saw weird shaped lifeforms and at some point they started getting even more distorted which made them visually suffer. I was empathetic and felt sad for them, as if it was me who was suffering, but then the last and the only realization I needed. I thought "Wait, why am I identifying with all of that?". They all disappeared and my mind finally got its grip back on reality. I had the biggest "aha'' moment of my life. I took a giant step back from everything that was happening in consciousness and realized that I was consciously imagining EVERYTHING. Even the perceiver is just a figment of my consciousness. Just pure consciousness being itself forever. My life is a joke because it was never real. So many realizations come from this state, as if its a different realm. It can go infinitely meta with the power of everything. This is what liberation is. Imaginary liberation. Infinity needs to contract itself in order to know itself. It creates all of reality through infinite intelligence. And finally its a permament realization. I can enter construct awareness state on a whim, and everytime I do that joy and laugh comes. The benefits are showing themself and they are not ending. So the only thing I would like to ask here is what other benefits this state brings? If I'm sad I can realize that I'm consciously making myself feel sadness and boom its gone. If I'm nervous I could do the same thing and instead of nervousness laughter comes. Every knowledge mind holds is relative and that is the reason why non-duality can be so scary. Thank you again Leo and everyone. The best thing consciousness could offer - consciousness helping you to realize it. And I see why its solipsistic lol.

@Leo Gura Infinity of gods was way too far for me, but now I'll look into it. I saw that video made a lot of confusion on this forum

@CuriousityIsKey Yeah when two beings meet and they enter this state its like a strange loop.

@Razard86 Thank you. I've always had this feeling that everything happens for a reason. And now its so clear that everything that has happened in my life has lead up to this

@Asayake Thanks for the response. Trying to unveil my own lifestory is so tricky, the mind is SO tricky, I've been numb to emotions for the most of my life and its my way of being, my thoughts is the most frequent place I go to, but the moment I took shrooms everything flipped. My heart was full of love for every damn thing, emotions were so clear and navigating, but because I 'practiced' thinking so much, my logical thinking wasnt affected at all, so its probably all combined into a very pleasent experience

I've been smoking weed for 2 years now, and been using it for personal development and introspection, and I have never tried to work on my traumas on weed, cuz it wasn't obvious to me as if I had any lingering traumas or not, even though at some point in my childhood there was traumatic events. So yesterday I smoked weed and wasnt expecting to get so high, but it was easy to manage it, and as usual I was working high on my music, until suddenly I started feeling funny and open to everything that was going through my mind, and for some reason that traumatic event came into my mind in which my life was threatened as a child. For my whole life this event wasnt concerning me, and seemingly didnt effect my in any way (I thought so at least). While remembering the whole thing I ''battled'' the resistence that I felt with ease and it was going so smooth, I felt very warm in my chest and full of love for myself. For me weed sometimes causes some weird thoughts which I would brush off as high thoughts, but during that experience I decided to let all of my emotions and thoughts to be and accept them, and the pinnacle of that experience was when I told myself "I love myself, even if this situation happened''. Im just confused what happened and why? Someone said on this forum that trauma release happens on its own when our psychological well being is ready for that, and it seems that it is the case. Out of all my smoking sessions this one felt so lovely and calm. Now that I'm sober I try to think of some other traumatic events and feel the same as usual - just nothing Notably during this week I've been ''resting'' in my awareness and the more I did it the more connected I felt. I want to undestand the topic of trauma better, I'll be thankful for any help. much love

Not during meditation, but during my childhood everytime I had a fever I would have a dream about two black holes being next to eachother (note that I was so young that I didnt knew black holes were even a thing) the experience was full of fear as if I had to do something. These two black holes communicated with each other and they wanted to "conquer" the world or be in control, ⚫⚫ thats how it looked. I had many dreams that are so weird and abstract but what really peeks my interest is that they all have spiritual connotation to it.

I'm going to take 3g of magic shrooms for consciousness work. I've only done shrooms 2 times and it was 1.5 grams, and I wasn't educated that much about non duality and some other deep stuff, so what really shocked me during those trips is that I was so monkey-like and watching myself in a mirror felt weird as if it was not really me but an ape or monkey thing. Now I can see that it was a projection of my mind (I really like animals) and now I can see that everyday world is super weird if I would deconstruct science ideas out of everything. I would like to hear advice from people here for my trip. What meditation should I do (if I should)? In which direction should I lean towards (I know that shrooms really like to dictate the trip, but still I want to go as deep as I can) I know that psychedelics are super powerful, I'll make sure that everything is safe, and my friend is going to trip sit me. Im afraid that I would just enchance my previous ideas of reality and think that its the way it is, cuz my friend sort of believes in simulation theory and what he saw during mushroom trip is that his walls vanished and instead his room was made out of binary code and "creator" of this simulation spoke with him in computer language. So am I supposed to just full factory reset my ideas of reality and see what comes up? I would like to hear wisdom from you guys and then wisdom from shrooms. Thx

If present moment which is just being aware of being aware is absolute, why I dont see infinity and other stuff like that (god)? From this moment I finnaly understand that meditation is not a "doing" but "being" And as Leo said there is infinite amount of dimension to this state How do I keep moving deeper? And now I know what I need to "do" on shrooms, I will just "be" and see what comes forth

Oh my god guys thanks to all of you that replied to me. I created this post out of desparation, I've been fully focused on spiritual path with little glimpses of something that I couldn't find answers to, and sudenly just 2 days ago, right after this post, I have become aware of just being aware. It was a great problem for me, and it really felt like I was searching for glasses while being in one, the thing is that I couldn't take a step back from my thoughts to realize that they are just the same experience like sight and hearing, and for me it was like an "aha" moment. It feels so peaceful in this state, and its such a synchronicity that all of you started replying to this post just after this realization (love all of you) I have a geniune question to Leo, how do I move from this place? What is next? I want to explore this new beatiful area that I was seemingly blind to, and Leo seems like a best teacher for this stuff again thanks to all of you!

I was doing the neti neti method and when the last thing was gone (thoughts) I started vaguely seeing in my imagination something that I actually saw in my childhood during a fever dream and this memory from childhood got completly deleted from my memory but when this experience occured it just clicked in me and I suddenly remembered it and it even felt the same. I can't describe it now, and I think I would'nt be able to put it in words even during the experience. But the thing is that during this state what was really present is fear. I, or better maybe my body felt so much fear that it affected my mind and so I started to become terrified. I tried to surrender to this fear and calm myself down, but about in a minute this experience completly wear off and I was left with the biggest confusion and "what the fuck was that" thought. Did I messed it up? Cuz at some point I tried to describe what I'm experiencing and maybe it ruined it. I really want to point out the fact that I definetly experienced that in my childhood maybe even multiple times and it used to scare me a lot (I was a kid cmon who would put a child through such thing) Elp

I see, the point is to find the irreducible 'thing' so trying to reduce even that experience I had is the way to go, thanks! Also in the past I was doing the kundalini yoga and meditation and I felt this random surge of energy in my body, which felt so weird and I couldn't understand it so I came here for the info and everytime I would read about kundalini or nature of reality this energy becomes turbulent and I become very impatient with what I'm reading as if almost discomforting (which basically never happens to me). So is it ego again trying to distract or hide the truth? Its interesting cuz I understand the context of kundalini and all of that which means the ego also understands it and so the deeper I go about this journey the closer my ego is to dying

I'm new to forum so I dont know if its okay to post this here As a kid while being sick and with a fever I would always have those dreams that I think have something related with all of that spiritual stuff The first one is about a floating sphere in a vast white space, and in fact there is a lot of people that had the exact same dream. Most of the people have some object in their dreams to become infinitely small or big and that would scare the crap out of them, but for me it was a bit different. As my sight was glued to the sphere, it would start changing its texture, the soft perfect sphere would become spiky, or hard, or it would have a texture of leaves, but the most crazy part is that my body would FEEL the texture of the sphere as it changes. ITS SUPER UNPLEASANT. My whole body would feel the spikiness, or softness (the softness is the most unpleasant). It seems like my body or mind falsely identifies itself with that sphere and so the surface area of that sphere translates onto me. I remember Leo saying that God is a shapeshifter, and that dream kind of hits this mark. The second dream is vaguely remembered, and its even harder to explain. I would see two fully black flat circles that are almost or slightly touching each other (they really look like black holes to me now as black holes appear just like flat blackness). And the thing is that those circles were sentient, they had some kind of intention of taking control or doing something that I cant remember as I always forgot the moment I wake up, and they would argue with each other about who would be the one to do the something. And I would have this sense of dread, and need to do something to stop them. There is also a third dream but its hard to explain it in a proper way cuz english is not my native language. Do you have some similar dreams? I sense so much meaning in dreams especially in those super weird ones.

I just wanted to post the same thing but decided to go with more simple stuff like dreams. During my neti neti meditation I somehow entered some "realm" cuz I dont have words to describe it (maybe state of consciousness) and it indeed felt like a childhood dream that I had but it got completely deleted from my memory. And for some reason I felt extreme fear throughout the whole process. It all went away the moment I tried to put it into words. After this I thought why the hell would someone or something put a child mind through such thing