I won't go into a long-winded explanation for now, suffice it to say that since turning 45 during a pandemic (as a hospital cleaner, which was very scary for a while as I cleaned Covid rooms and witnessed people die of the virus early on), my marriage has dissolved, I have moved to a new town and work at a new hospital. I had a mini-stroke in roughly 2016 that scared the crap out of me and have lost a brother to suicide and attempted myself. I also went from committing myself to becoming a traditionally published author. I say all this why?
Because I have achieved "worldly" goals that I have set for myself and am done with that stuff. I'm also done with the anxiety of worry over doing a perfect job at work every day. I realize that time is short and that none of this materialistic bullshit actually matters - I thirst for transcendence from the usual "rat on a treadmill" stress and I have found my own version of Nihilism/higher consciousness and learning to let go of worry over my health.
No kids, no car payment and I rent. Screw the housing market - it's insane and I want no part of it.
I SALUTE ANYONE OUT HERE WITH THE COURAGE TO BE DIFFERENT AND ANYONE WHO HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THE RAT RACE BULLSHIT THAT IS CLEARLY A PATTERN. Had to use caps there. I'm over it. I even stopped wearing a mask in public today, which is a big step as a formerly paranoid healthcare worker.
Great to meet everyone and thank you for all your infinite wisdom, Leo! I find myself comforted more than ever through this evolved awareness.
Jeff
