I was a lot like you once. I tried turning Chess into some sort of Career for years and years, and it ended up making me miserable because I couldn't measure up to the competition.
At some point, I saw the light and "gave up" on Chess as a profession and just play for the love of it. And my current job has nothing to with Chess, or any intellectual pursuit for that matter...just physical grunt work. And that's ok. Just keeping it as a hobby and see where that takes me.
As others have said, Chess is just a shit profession. It never was meant to be one. Chess is agonizingly stressful as a profession.
Take the World Championship for example. Imagine having to do countless hours of engine preparation, having a team working for you telling you what to play. Imagine having to find some minor improvements on move 25 or 30 in the dry, barren positions of the Petroff Defense. Imagine grinding down your opponent for hours and hours, having a winning position...and making a stupid blunder in the end and losing! And on top of that, somehow you'd have to "shake off" that loss in less than 24 hours because you'd have another multi-hour game the next day! Imagine that...
That's just brutal torture, I wouldn't wish that on my worse enemy. You'd be begging to bag groceries after going through that.
I think you're "romanticising" Chess as a profession a little bit...as have I in the past.
Magnus Carlsen gave up the title because he couldn't deal with that torture. Ding Liren, the Current Champ, is a Lawyer (!) by profession, Chess isn't even his main thing! Let that sink in.
Making it as a Chess coach or content creator is a little more feasible, but that too is difficult. Maybe if you have a fun on-screen persona and pump out endless content you can make it, but there's no guarantee. You can give it a shot, but your entire survival shouldn't hinge on this alone, always have a day job until you at least make it big.
That being said, it's not all doom and gloom, Chess is a great hobby. My analytical abilities can find an outlet through this game, and it scratches an itch that other endeavors fail to do. Like, for example, creative writing is another great endeavor, but you can't get any adrenaline rushes through writing. Or Math. Winning a tight,tough battle, a long endgame for example, produces such an exhilarating feeling that is hard to replicate otherwise, even by taking drugs.
Anyways, I'm going off on a tangent (I can just blab on and on because I'm passionate about this game). You're not alone banging your head against the wall with Chess, I've done that...and on some days still do. Just keep Chess as a hobby, you don't have to quit playing entirely, you're still young, just look elsewhere for a profession (learning a trade,engineering etc, or even just good 'ole physical labor, there's no shame it that.It's good for the mental health)
