caesar13

After a few days of nofap (maybe 5 days) and then finally doing it again (masturbation which watching porn) I feel like I partially remember or forgot what I have done or learned (normal studying, and work) during those nofap days. I should instead feel that I have more memory, right? As I have not fapped and semen is retained. Could it just be my feeling?

@integral So just masturbation with ejaculation whilst fantasizing about a nude girl (maybe an actress) wouldn't have any bad effect? Or just masturbate without fantasizing? I just want to have no diminishing effects from the things I do. So just masturbation (and ejaculating) without fantasizing has no bad effects? Well, I know you maybe not a doctor, but please just answer based on your experience.

@MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI Once every 14 days is not really a problem for me. I can focus on my work and releasing maybe can lower my stress or such. But how come people say that they have not masturbated or watched porn for like month and they are still OK? And at first I thought it was a lie but not everyone lies, or it cannot be a lie completely, right? Edit: When I don't masturbate or ejaculate or, neither watch porn, I get recurring dreams in my sleep and that dreaming actually is not allowing me to wake up early. Something like this ever happen to you? And ejaculation in my dreams never happened to me before, not even during the period I was in abstinence for 26 days straight. What I am trying to tell is, the focus, and peace of mind I have... while I don't spend time on sexual stuff by stimulating myself with porn or by whatever means, that peace of mind is very valuable to me. My past is not good, I got exposed to adult content early in my childhood. I've been to psychiatrists, they diagnosed me with OCD, took pills, now the OCD thing is gone but not this addiction thing. I really want to get out of all this. As others pointed out, does kundalini yoga help? Have you any experience with it?

So do you say that it's okay to do it, but in moderation?

And does just letting the sperm by ejaculating is not bad? Can one still be healthy even when not doing semen retention?

@Carl-Richard Okay. But how come many people say they have been free from doing it for several months? The problem is if once I do it, I tend to do it atleast once a day for several days before again deciding to not fap again.

@Carl-Richard Do you think it would help if I just watch porn when I feel the urges but not masturbate or ejaculate? Does that change anything in the way how my brain works? Maybe I get stronger and the will power increases?

Do people like Leonardo DaVinci, Aristotle, and such are known to have any kind of addictions? Maybe addicted to sex? How had they dealt with that?

Today i was contemplating my relation to porn... At some point I felt that the pornstar in the video I would be looking at somehow belongs to me, in the same way you feel a sense of belonging to any other person. In this case it's not entirely the same but only a transcation of pleasure. I wanted to feel the pleasure (or this sexual lust) and the pornstar in the video is just giving me that. Further in the contemplation session, I questioned myself this: "If you see this particular porn star on the street being slapped or beaten (beaten in the sense like a rude guy beating a girl) by a rude guy, would I get angry about that?" My answer to that question was a "Yes". If felt that I would become angry. I really couldn't believe I feel that way - that I would save a girl from being beaten up, with whom I am acquainted by is only through the "one-way" transaction of pleasure. Do you feel the same? Is it this sense of belonging (it's distorted but yeah in some way) a reason one stays a porn addict?

@Ajax Oh really?

These days I was reading "The Power of Not knowing" book and watching videos of Peter Ralston's (used to, and still watching Leo's content since years) but at certain times I feel like I am wasting time. At the same time I feel that not investing time studying things like these would make me lose touch with myself and I'd, probably, end up chasing material possessions and money all my life, and this void I feel would never leave me. To some extent, I so feel at this moment too, that investing time in personal development and contemplation work I feel "pleasure". Yes, that's right. I feel pleasure. When there's something troubling me mentally and when eventually I sit down, contemplate, and suddenly a thought (or insight, I don't know what to call it) comes and some realization occurs, and this thing that's troubling me for sometime would simply vanish. Ah, that moment, the contentedness I feel is something I am always after. So I now realize, as I am typing this, that I like and not like a thing at the same time? How is that possible? Have been reading Peter Ralston's book, and something in me is resonating with what he says, but this feeling that I am I might be wasting time instead of learning things that would help me at work is troubling me.

I do some contemplation work and while I am at it I write things on my iPad using my Apple Pencil. Is there a good app for that? I find writing in Notion to be a bit difficult. Sorry this is the wrong place to ask but I know people here do lot of contemplation so you may have a solution. Thanks!

I have read the book Mastery by Robert Greene. Nice one. Now I am reading the book "So Good They Can't Ignore You" (written b y Cal Newport) in which the author is against the passion mindset and encourages the craftsman mindset. I feel all along the book there's a conflict lurking in my mind. Do I now go towards finding my life's calling or do what I can to make myself valuable - to be in the path of giving the world something valuable? Readers who have read boths the books can understand my confusion.

I am a person who in the past have commited suicide multiple times. Now I am not depressed or something but I simply do not have the desire to do anything. If you could take away the pain involved in dying, I would even accept being killed. I know that this is not a good place to ask, but let’s say you are in my situation. What would you do? I am now a normal person, but I just lack the desire. Maybe the only desire I have right now is to have a desire.

@Swarnim Yes.

@Swarnim You really cherry-picked the problem I'm facing

@Razard86 Thank you. I am really amazed how you could share your knowledge so articulately (I have read your other answers too previously)

Not really, I am a very curious guy since childhood but I feel like you're right - if I think about the past 4-5 years of my life.

@Sabth I'm 26. Healthy? not sure about that, but I am a skinny guy and just a little over 55 Kg, mostly bone weight haha.

I was at a gathering today. I spoke to a person who I know. He asked me what I was doing (related to work), and he's almost working in the same field as I do - in the field of cloud. He's especially a web developer, and a manager as well so he's acquainted with the DevOps things as well. I know him, I used to admire him for the sort of mindset he has. However, the way he talked to me today, I felt like he had the attitude - the attitude senior experienced guys have towards someone who's not. I didn't feel offended as I noticed some changes in his body language. The assertive tone he had while he is speaking with a group of people, and my father was in the group. Whether or not to read a book on body language, that indecision has been on my mind for a while. After today's incident, I was a bit interested to take a look into it. So are there any good books? I see there are books but they explicitly concentrate on how one person places their legs or hands while sitting or something. I want to read some book that's good - good in the sense that it's a good starting point, which pushes me in the right direction.

And most importantly you've to remember that you're not losing any thing by giving up porn. You're not sacrificing anything.

Very motivational! I love this line "SPARTAN LIKE DISCIPLINE"

@effortlesslumen Thank you! Will check it.

@Charlotte The kind of feeling that I had in my childhood to do something just because I liked doing it. Often I remember that I wanted to do something but since it's already time for bed I used to force myself not to get off the bed but to sleep and do it after I woke up in the morning - just some remote control car things. I used to be interested in electronics those days. To put it simply: I lack that curiosity now. Two days ago I pulled off my affirmation that I wrote by myself a long time ago after reading Murphy's books, plus I'm trying visualization - visualizing that I have what I feel that I lack now. I feel that helps.

Which has more effort on the mind? I mean in the negative sense. I know both of these shouldn't be done extremely, but generally speaking.... Ejaculating while watching porn or ejaculating by imagining having sexual intercourse with an actress during masturbation?