Nicoleta

@gettoefl thank you, all I needed to hear today ❤

Here's my proboblem: I'm an attractive, funny, intelligent, kind woman. This is not all in my head, all my life I had guys come on to me and some even fall in love. From the outside I look unbelievable, hard to find kind of girl. The one that will play video games with you, top your every dirty joke, instantly liked by your dorky or arrogant friends and absolutely adored by your family. I know how to give a guy his space and let him have the balls, but I'm also rock solid when time comes. Not screwing around, never taking lightly a man's pride and on top of that a sexual freak ☺. In my life I have my sht together and I'm not expecting from a relationship nothing else but deep connection, love and good company. Too good to be true? It is. I wasn't like this all my life, I grew up as a pretty girl and that was it. Always expecting guys to take care of me financially and in any other way. I never cared to bring to the table anything else but my vg and that worked for a while ... until I started loosing my hair. I was in my mid 20's when I saw my first bald spot. A few weeks later I found out it was lupus and there's not much I can do about it. My confidence went down the drain instantly and at first I just wanted to kill myself. I thought: If I'm not pretty then I'm nothing and I wasn't very far from the truth. Anyways, I decided to go on and see if hair is actually everything or not. I started dealing with ... you know, sht. I started from scratch and dealt with all my childhood, god, life purpose, relationships, discipline, basically figured out who I am and what makes life worth living. And now I'm kind of stable and somehow at peace. I'm still young, good looking ... with a head full of bald spots. You can't see it at first because I use colored hair products to cover it, but if things get intimate it must be talked about. My question is: How do I bring this up to a guy who asks me out? He's like: hey, can I have your number? And I'm supposed to be like: does it bother you that I have bald spots? Also guys from work or friends group feel super rejected because I keep saying no when it's obvious I'm single. Any thoughts?

I've been following Teal since her first year in the business when she used to have a crinckled sheet as a background and talked about aliens a lot, she doesn't do that lately, few years ago she switched on relationships and stuck with it. I also love to see how much Leo has grown and his content moved from basic self help to complex consciousness topics. As for thoughts and reality, a good start is to consider that reality has many levels with contradicting truths on each level, think about it like the laws of physics in the water, on the surface of this planet and in the outer space, they are all true, but very, very different with massive implications for a human being. At the highest level yes, thoughts create reality, intention always precedes manifestation, but here on Earth reality is distinct from us and has a powerful say in everything. That's not to say we're powerless here, but we're very limited, and that's not a bug, it's a feature, as Leo would say ☺

@Lorandt Aszom I think consciousness work as to a very specific type of spot, like you can get so good at running that no one will be able to keep up with you, not even those you want by your side the most. Like any athlete or other type of very driven person, you will miss out on a lot of things "regular" people do and have, and it gets nostalgic at times and very lonely ... yet times like this are perfect for those deep, deep, juicy questions that all of us interested in type of content are searching. What I am standing for when there's nothing left for me to stand for? What remains when everything is gone? Let's say that everything was in vain, the worst choice and a complete waste of your time, what good came out of it you wouldn't have otherwise? You said you don't know and that's just fine. "I don't know" is a perfectly good valid answer and a very solid rock to stand on. We dont have to have it all figured out at all times, doubt is good, mistakes are good, wasting time is good, it's all life, messy, hairy, complicated - an OCD enclined person's worst nightmare basically ?.

Hey Lorandt Nice "word vomit" as you put it. Keep doing it, I'm not kidding you one bit. Daily, twice a day if you can, on a piece of paper is even better as it engages more of yourself, just let it all out. After a while the clutter will start fading and you'll start seeing some recurring patterns. Free writing is a great technique for knowing yourself, don't be shy, throw in some colours, drawing, painting, poetry, write a story as if your problems were about someone else ... whatever works to get you unstuck. I completely get your fear of finding yourself in the same place over and over again no matter how hard you try and I wont tell you it will go away, because it wont. Your observation is completely accurate because this is how we grow, in a spiral, but even if at times it seems like you're back to square one, you're not, I promise. Every bit of improvement counts, nothing is ever wasted, it all adds up in the bigger picture. It is supposed to be hard, as hard as you could ever imagine and far beyond and no one will ever have the answers in your place. All it can be said in times like this is "you are not alone, I promise!" and after you figure it out for yourself is your turn to make someone else feel less alone in their struggle. ❤