Oso

Just last night I broke off a friendship which I deemed was no longer healthy for me anymore. However, I was a light to my friend in question and she is having a really hard time accepting my decision. I explained my reasons why I felt it needed to end it before ending it but she cannot seem to accept my POV. If anything, my POV is the worst case scenario for her, even though I feel it is the best. I just feel terrible about the pain I'm causing for her and for myself, having to cut this off and all. I want to respond to what she'd said and try to offer her clarity and understanding, but I already said I was ceasing contact with her and I don't want to go against my word. It is simply the pain I feel for causing her pain that makes me want to do something to ease the burden I have left on her life. I could not be the friend she needed nor did I want to. I made sure of this and spoke clearly about it. I could not continue dragging the relationship on in hopes for one day that I wouldn't feel burdened. I could not do that to her any longer so I had to break it off. This is my first time doing this to anyone and it's terribly hard and scary and I do not know what I should do now. I feel this situation is likely quite relative to both of our positions and is bound with misunderstanding. What should I do? Can I do? If anything... - TLDR: I ended a friendship I felt was unhealthy for me. My friend is struggling to accept this decision. I've explained my reasons and said I'm ceasing contact, but I feel guilty about the pain I've caused. I want to offer more clarity but don't want to go back on my word. This is my first time ending a friendship so abruptly like this, and I'm unsure how to handle the aftermath. Should I do anything more or maintain the no-contact decision?

@Basman How do I avoid getting bogged down with a particular choice? That is a trap I would like to be conscious enough ahead of time. Maybe just some foresight so I don't get comfortable and ignorant. For the most part, I'm only making commitments in my life that are related to whatever my future career might be. Until then, I feel I can't really commit to anything crazy like a serious relationship, a big financial burden, etc... Okay on the course. I'll be re-watching and reworking the values section soon alongside anything else that should strike some interest or importance.

@Phil King I understand where Cal is coming from wherein one gets masterful at their work and contentment follows, though, it is that same problem again of what work? I don't want to be a master in just anything. I want to be a master in something in value and in which I can give with. In that regard to Cal, I agree, it's just I feel I must do it in a specific line of work which I have been greatly struggling to find. Once again, I shall review the course just as @Tboy recommended. Beyond this, I have done the blank wall exercise once and managed to get through a few hours of it. Though, not to much avail as I wasn't really picking apart what I wanted at the deepest level. I was more so thinking about career and money so more shallow. I might consider doing it again.

@Tboy So you're encouraging me to just do the value assessments from the course? I've done them twice or so before some year ago, and never was able to get super clear. I definitely found that which I valued, but in regards to having direction and purpose, they were only helpers and not the purpose itself, at least related to career. I understand now that no-one is going to do it for me, and it makes me scared. Though, I always cycle back to this same feeling where "If I just had a drive to do one thing, it wouldn't be so hard." and I don't know how that makes me feel anymore.

I've just finished my second year of general community college, turned 20 last week, and don't know what I want to do with my career path next. I'm finding great trouble committing to anything unless someone else directs me towards it or forces me into it. The options I see are college, a trade, or a full time job. These are also being enforced upon me lest I wish to have my transportation, housing, and food taken away at some degree from my parents. I need to choose something but it feels like a brain fuck every time I try and think about what to choose. I don't have any polished skills yet but I enjoy and am decent at producing music, researching and analyzing, listening, working out and training, and some other small things. All of these things feel lukewarm for me with music production being the most viable option, speaking on behalf of passion. Though I still feel left in the dust with all of these and that going into a university dedicated down one of the paths is just a means for me to end up with a shitty or no degree and debt. I can't do that but I need to decide on something within the next month or so. I just don't how to choose with such a neutral passion and no crazy drive in one specific thing. Any help?

What would you recommend instead?

Interesting points. One of the problems with this being an online thing is the inability to verify these things properly. It's kinda like determining whether you like someone or not based on their dating profile, it doesn't work too well. What do you mean by what they're selling is fake?

I believe I have been doing that and if so, have likely gotten my answer. She gives off the vibe of "sorry, I kinda want to but I don't know. Want to buy my nudes though!?"

Good point. I don't. That's part of the annoyance that comes with this desire.

So I caved and subscribed to a chick on OnlyFans for a month. My desire was to be able to talk with her, and though that desire has been filled, she mainly speaks on business terms. What is stopping me from going beyond this mode of communication? Perhaps into the territory of a genuine relationship? Doesn't have to be intimate. Q: How might I go about breaking her out of the professional relationship mode? To have her show interest in something outside of getting money? I'm open to any honest response if you have one, rude or not, I simply wish to be humbled on the matter.

I froze up before even attempting a cold approach today. What is the nature behind this freezing up? I've encountered it my whole life with women. So far, I can see that changing perspective and letting go of expectations can help, but realizing those things doesn't help the fact that when it's time, I can barely move a muscle. Can anyone give some advice? Better yet, actions one can take to break out of freezing up?

I currently work a part-time job that is no longer supportive of my living expenses. I'm a sophomore in college and have most of my current living expenses (besides gas, food, and some rent) paid for me. I need to make more cash, but I'm not willing to simply sell myself to any buisness. As far as my skills go, my most developed skills are in music production and rock climbing. I'm planning to go into several studios tomorrow to talk about job opportunities and my current part-time job is at a rock-climbing gym. It is also worth mentioning that I'm training to become a yoga therapist. I'm stuck on what to do, where to look, if I'm holding myself, or if I'm going about this wrong. Can anyone offer some guidance, experience, or wisdom that I can work on with?

Yes, I'm seriously asking this. How does one teleport their body from one location to another? If not teleportation, any method of such travel for practical uses or for the use of seeing someone far away.

Thank you. That actually made sense and lifted some weight off my shoulders. I'll take your words wisely.

Very well. Thanks for the feedback.