Oso

Lol yes I am a male. My mind tends to have more flamboyant fantasies in comparison with most people I know. Not sure why, but I am highly creative in various areas.

Those are valid points. But yes, I agree to what you said. That mindset is heavily dependent on fate and relying on fate alone seems rather dangerous and ignorant, at least for me. Instead, meeting someone through fate seems more fitting to be a cherry on top of actively living life and putting in the work towards whatever it is your want to do. For example, the self development. Whatever you work on has tangible results naturally. Depending on what you do, this can increase or decrease your chances towards something, in this case, a sexual partner, girlfriend, etc... So, I guess I'm kinda rambling there. But, main point I'm clarifying on is that by taking the actions things tend to fall in place in a weird but natural way. A lack of action, which I have especially experienced here, leads to self induced suffering amongst other things.

Yes, a little work. That what is seems like when I reflect on it. Even still, I haven't really gotten far in successfully meeting someone in this regard. I met a few people, but there usually ends up being some crux which breaks it before anything actually goes down. I understand this is healthy in it's own way, but it kinda sucks being impatient or lustful, even when I have had to cut it. Each comes with valuable lessons though. Seeing that I'm not actually hopeless kinda scares me. The self-development I have to undertake to be with the women I really want shakes me up pretty good and brings up defensive patterns. But I don't think I can die free of that growing regret and fear if I don't go for it.

That is a perfectly valid way, and yes masturbation can and does help, no doubt. Even so, I don't want to masturbate forever, and honestly I'd rather just let it go. But in it's place, albeit selfish, I would much rather prefer to have a sexual partner. Lucid dreaming appeared at such time and in such a way where it just feels like more attractive and advanced masturbation lol. It's attractive because there's not really any commitments to a real person, it can be with whomever, wherever, etc... But again, I'd prefer a consistent and genuine sexual partner/s in waking life. I'm just semi-confused on if I'm successfully walking towards that goal or not, hence I've been trying to lucid dream to fit this desire.

No, I would say I'm generally pretty open. Though, I do find my moral values are pretty high and have limited me in the past. It's a good thing for keeping me out of trouble but it's annoying when I'm in a more lusty state. However, I haven't had a ton of experience, so I can't be super sure about what I'm saying in this regard.

Lol you guys are funny. I say that because of a few reasons. Firstly is sexual fantasies with fictional characters. That is something which is simply not actionable in waking life. Or so it appears. Secondly is with people who'd likely be very hard or impossible to sexually engage with, like celebrities, people of history, etc... Honestly, just having sex with anyone of desire. That doesn't even seem like a wise or possible decision to go after in waking life.

Though I haven't been able to successfully lucid dream yet, I have come back to it again and again due to this idea. On one hand, it appears to offer the ability to experience any sexual occasion in any way you'd like, or something along those lines. On the other hand, it seems to be an escape from genuine sexual experience and growth. There are sexual experiences I can't fulfill in waking life, but at the same time, one of the things I really want at my younger age is to explore sexuality and learn through direct sexual experience. In other words, I want to learn about and have great sex through actually doing it. I cannot tell if taking on these desires through lucid dreams, which I have still yet to have success with, is a desire spawned out of ignorance and fear, or a genuine medium to explore all the sexual fantasies I have. I'd appreciate any feedback or thoughts.

Just last night I broke off a friendship which I deemed was no longer healthy for me anymore. However, I was a light to my friend in question and she is having a really hard time accepting my decision. I explained my reasons why I felt it needed to end it before ending it but she cannot seem to accept my POV. If anything, my POV is the worst case scenario for her, even though I feel it is the best. I just feel terrible about the pain I'm causing for her and for myself, having to cut this off and all. I want to respond to what she'd said and try to offer her clarity and understanding, but I already said I was ceasing contact with her and I don't want to go against my word. It is simply the pain I feel for causing her pain that makes me want to do something to ease the burden I have left on her life. I could not be the friend she needed nor did I want to. I made sure of this and spoke clearly about it. I could not continue dragging the relationship on in hopes for one day that I wouldn't feel burdened. I could not do that to her any longer so I had to break it off. This is my first time doing this to anyone and it's terribly hard and scary and I do not know what I should do now. I feel this situation is likely quite relative to both of our positions and is bound with misunderstanding. What should I do? Can I do? If anything... - TLDR: I ended a friendship I felt was unhealthy for me. My friend is struggling to accept this decision. I've explained my reasons and said I'm ceasing contact, but I feel guilty about the pain I've caused. I want to offer more clarity but don't want to go back on my word. This is my first time ending a friendship so abruptly like this, and I'm unsure how to handle the aftermath. Should I do anything more or maintain the no-contact decision?

@Basman How do I avoid getting bogged down with a particular choice? That is a trap I would like to be conscious enough ahead of time. Maybe just some foresight so I don't get comfortable and ignorant. For the most part, I'm only making commitments in my life that are related to whatever my future career might be. Until then, I feel I can't really commit to anything crazy like a serious relationship, a big financial burden, etc... Okay on the course. I'll be re-watching and reworking the values section soon alongside anything else that should strike some interest or importance.

@Phil King I understand where Cal is coming from wherein one gets masterful at their work and contentment follows, though, it is that same problem again of what work? I don't want to be a master in just anything. I want to be a master in something in value and in which I can give with. In that regard to Cal, I agree, it's just I feel I must do it in a specific line of work which I have been greatly struggling to find. Once again, I shall review the course just as @Tboy recommended. Beyond this, I have done the blank wall exercise once and managed to get through a few hours of it. Though, not to much avail as I wasn't really picking apart what I wanted at the deepest level. I was more so thinking about career and money so more shallow. I might consider doing it again.

@Tboy So you're encouraging me to just do the value assessments from the course? I've done them twice or so before some year ago, and never was able to get super clear. I definitely found that which I valued, but in regards to having direction and purpose, they were only helpers and not the purpose itself, at least related to career. I understand now that no-one is going to do it for me, and it makes me scared. Though, I always cycle back to this same feeling where "If I just had a drive to do one thing, it wouldn't be so hard." and I don't know how that makes me feel anymore.

I've just finished my second year of general community college, turned 20 last week, and don't know what I want to do with my career path next. I'm finding great trouble committing to anything unless someone else directs me towards it or forces me into it. The options I see are college, a trade, or a full time job. These are also being enforced upon me lest I wish to have my transportation, housing, and food taken away at some degree from my parents. I need to choose something but it feels like a brain fuck every time I try and think about what to choose. I don't have any polished skills yet but I enjoy and am decent at producing music, researching and analyzing, listening, working out and training, and some other small things. All of these things feel lukewarm for me with music production being the most viable option, speaking on behalf of passion. Though I still feel left in the dust with all of these and that going into a university dedicated down one of the paths is just a means for me to end up with a shitty or no degree and debt. I can't do that but I need to decide on something within the next month or so. I just don't how to choose with such a neutral passion and no crazy drive in one specific thing. Any help?

What would you recommend instead?

Interesting points. One of the problems with this being an online thing is the inability to verify these things properly. It's kinda like determining whether you like someone or not based on their dating profile, it doesn't work too well. What do you mean by what they're selling is fake?

I believe I have been doing that and if so, have likely gotten my answer. She gives off the vibe of "sorry, I kinda want to but I don't know. Want to buy my nudes though!?"