Turtlelover577

Hi, this is a little bit of a weird question. I’ve been contemplating what kind of life I want for myself and came to a couple of conclusions. I want financial Independence, and creative and general freedom (I suppose just like most others really). I was contemplating ways that I can create this kind of life for myself and one thought I had is creating music. However, when I sit down and practice playing the piano I bought (3 years ago now) to gain the basic skills I don’t enjoy it and it feels like a chore. I’m learning in a very generic manner through an online provider that gets you to grips with the basics (finger positioning, chords etc). How can you become creative with something that you can’t even get past the basics with? Or is that a signal that playing piano is not my passion and I need to test out other interests to find out which ones I don’t find mundane even during the beginning stages of learning?

I've realized how important our vision and gaze are in understanding other people. Oftentimes I will make very limited eye contact and try to focus more on the content of what other people are talking about, bringing about a very unconscious state, as my mind is actively making assumptions and being biased regarding the intentions of their communication. Whereas, If I am fully engaged and locked in when someone else is talking to me and am trying to actively be aware of non-verbal cues and connect with the other person, there is a whole host of information that I start to pick up on and become aware of, improving the clarity of my understanding of their communication. Just focusing on verbal meaning is oftentimes extremely limited as people use language to lie and manipulate. You can cultivate a higher awareness of social situations and other people if you consciously use your vision to become more aware of other people's intentions and underlying needs and emotions.

@aurum I’m part time in retail at the moment and am also at college doing a course that will allow me into university to study psychology. But I’ve been doubting university is the right route for me recently, although I hope being in college will teach me some good skills to be able to take forward even if I don’t end up going to university. Previously I had been working full time in retail for the past 7 years but had not been seriously working on myself, although I think I have learnt a lot about life whilst working there. I’m always trying to set reflect but there are definitely some emotional barriers holding me back

@Phil King appreciate that ? Looks like a good channel

@Carl-Richard Yeah I can see how that would be a problem. My issue is that I’m at a stage in my life where I’m still living at home at 25 and I feel like my dependence on my parents and lack of autonomy is my biggest hurdle right now, it feels like I would do almost anything to take the first step into my own life. It’s like, I’ve never even had a girlfriend or anything so I feel like my emotional age during the worst of times is that of a 15 year old trapped in my psyche and holding me back

I just wanted to start off by saying that this is my first post on this forum and I feel like my ability to explain things is fairly limited at this point of my life, but I’m going to give it a shot. So what I gathered from my solo trip is that basically, I am / we are creators of reality, we are not humans, but we are in fact life / energy itself looking to creatively express itself in many ways. Existence is so incredibly deep and profound that the human form we’ve created can’t grasp it all. The human language is obviously very limiting in terms of explaining/understanding, but there are also many layers of how intelligently/to what extent a human can communicate. Just wow. Reality is so profound and so deep that I feel like we need a completely different form to experience it all through. Or maybe that’s just me being extremely limited personally, and I’m more capable and limitless than I originally thought? Everything I / we have created up until this point is all a concept. I feel like even time is a limited reality that we created in order to be able to experience more of the nature of infinite existence. Am I on the right tracks here? I haven’t been listening to a lot of Leo’s videos recently, but have come to a better place in my life mentally where I felt like a trip would be beneficial, and something was calling for me to go and explore psychedelics again. I have had about 3/4 trips before this, but they were nothing compared to what I became conscious of. They were mostly me working through and becoming aware of my personal issues which we’re getting in the way of me experiencing life more fully. So I guess that’s what I had to see at that point in time? And last night I was emotionally stable enough to be able to dive deeper, and that’s why I was able to see this. Infinite existence/reality is SO PROFOUND that it can’t be communicated through words as it is a limited form of communication, it needs to be experienced directly