pablo_aka_god

Use post rational intelligence to help revolutionize the fields of medicine and/or education with science and engineering. Or maybe just use post rational intelligence to build Deep Tech that can improve downstream products/areas including med and ed.

I realized I had another journal thread for other areas of my life other than dating/game. and this thread was meant for pickup stuff only. I totally forgot the other thread existed and been publishing everything in this game journal(this thread). from now on I will continue publishing everything here and will discontinue the other one. Here is the link to the entries in the other journal: Gotta keep things simple!

@Elliott I'm not learning anything useful at all for client 2. Also they are a 5 people startup w nothing to show so has 0 weight in my resume. I want to do the masters as a an opportunity to get exposed to new ideas and mainly to network and add some pedigree to my resume. It's very hard to get a very good research or engineering position from Argentina since most of the best companies will hire people from the US or maybe Europe. So I think it gives me an extra chance for breaking into a good position.

I threw my post into Gemini 3 and gave me this wonderful response:

Something good about client 2, it's very relaxed. As long as I put in the hours no one questions me or gives me deadlines. but all my work gets put in a shitty product that will never be used by anyone and this is not a good addition to my resume. This company is unsustainable so it may even go bust in a few months. But i've been working with them for 1 year and a half and it survived so far.

I've been thinking about this issue for the entire year because it has conflicting interests it's really hard for me to make a decision. I will be totally honest and try to summarize my situation here: I'm a single 30Y, live in Argentina and work as a remote contractor for US companies as an AI engineer/developer. Net worth: 53K USD in stocks, bonds and some Bitcoin. Monthly expenses: Between 2.5k and 3K USD. I have 2 part time clients: Client 1: Pays 36 USD/hr. very good company. project aligned with my LP in AI for health domain. can bring 3k USD /month. Client 2: Pays 55$/hr. Startup that has no idea what they are doing. but pay well and on time. I dislike job bc no one uses our product and it's a very shitty product. soul crushing work. but very relaxed work ethic, I work whenever I want as long as I can ship some new feature every week. On January I'll start an online masters degree in CS. and really want to drop client 2 to focus on masters. but I keep doubting myself bc I fear I may not be able to get a new high paying client w current market situation. I keep getting DMs on my Linkedin for jobs that pay much less and read a lot of negative things about the markets. I fear a Job market crash due to AI automating software engineering jobs Should I try to manage both clients + the masters or just drop client 2. and do what I like: client 1 + masters? I would be happier with dropping client 2, that way I would only do work I love. But I would not be able to save any money with client 1 as my single source of income. Some of my current reasoning: Getting extra $ gives me peace of mind but having free time also gives me peace of mind. if I don't have any free time I won't be happy even if I make good $. I fear losing money but also don't want to get stuck in my career and a high paying client that builds a BS product actually impairs my career. I could use that time to build something real. Would appreciate your perspectives.

I've been using Notion for 5 years but I am concerned with serious issues like privacy and the feeling that I don't really own my notes since they are stored in their servers eg: they could change the policy or pricing at any time and lock me out of my content if I don't pay or what if they decide to delete old files on free accounts to save storage and I never read the policy update until they already deleted my old data? or what if I get banned bc of some policy violation?. Also it's incredibly slow. I'm trying Obsidian right now and the first thing I noticed is a huge speed upgrade. and the fact that I own my notes because they are stored in my computer and I can read as .md files and backup them up with any method I prefer is giving me peace of mind. I plan to slowly transition to Obsidian during the next month

@Emerald Thanks for writing this. I found it very enlightening.

@PenguinPablo idk, I'm just contemplating the problem. We need way more research in this topic so each sex can emphasize more with the other. I think that's a good starting point. We have a huge lack of empathy from both sides. IMO the avg woman is way less emphatic with men than the other way around, probably just bc they don't need to be due to having more options and men may be more empathic only due to a lack of abundance. If I'm not empathic with the girl I'm dating. I'll have to wait months before getting another one, so I better be careful. (maybe this is fake empathy?)

Also I've been taking Leo's LP course for the last year and a half and I'm still 50% through it. I don't want to rush it, I really want to learn from it I think it's more effective to do it once even if it takes 3 years than to rush it in 6 months and learn little and having to come back years after. Since I started I went from no clue to 3 possible paths from my LP: 1- work in med tech building health products and research with AI. 2-ed-tech, develop new learning technology 3- AI research and development of new technology that will be used to improve the performance of many products and systems, specially if can improve the performance of products in the realm of 1. and 2. I'll see where life takes me in the next few years. Today I already have work contracts in projects on areas for 1 and 2.

I don't know how deep I should go in this journal for fear of ever being personally identified and regretting making my more intimate thoughts public so I will save the parts I might regret talking about to my paper journal. I'm both seemingly on track with my life and also have fear about how boring my life is becoming. I'm 30yo. maybe this part of maturing? in 2025 was the best year for my learning! I'm blown a way for how much I was able to succesfully manage and learn this year: - first half I went through the disillusionment phase of my GF. had a few mind blowing trips, sex and experiences with her that were the best in my life. I fully took in a lot of learnings from her like a new approach to learning were rather than focusing on learning one thing at a time w a lot of pressure you take on manny learning projects. and learn lots of things in parallel, it's ok to be bad at all of them. I do it for the fun. I learnt to relate with other cultures and people who come from poorer parts of the city. I learnt not to fear or stigmatize people that had a very hard past of poverty and violence and who now have a strong personality. I learnt to detect lies and manipulation. to make myself vulnerable to my GF and to have the courage to let her go when I saw no future together. I learnt that I am capable of having a hot GF. - I recovered my dad's house which was occupied by previous tenants who didn't want to leave and my dad wasn't able to evict them. This house is now the home of my 2 sisters and nephew. - I moved to a cheaper area, saved the most money in a year I ever did, and learnt to manage my finances. - I learnt the value of my family and I now spend more time with them. - I learnt that my closest friend for the last 5 years has been manipulating me and lying to me all this time while portraying himself as a high consciousness person. he's totally delusional, thinks superior to others bc he says will start a multimillion dollar company, has been trying since I met him 5 years ago, he has nothing to show because he's very lazy and spends most of his time watching personal development videos and tonny robbins programs! He became addictive to personal development to the level where he avoids real work and hides under the cheap dopamine you get from listening to a rich guy on YT saying you will be rich and famous. All this time he re contextualizes reality to make himself believe that he will succeed. He cares more about looking good and cool than doing real unsexy work. What a plot twist! what a fucking re contextualization, the person that sold himself as the highest conciousness individual in my life and superior to others was actually a delusional tonny robbins hooker who can't get any real work done and spends his day trash talking others. Took me 5 years to open my eyes for this. He has a very high IQ so the level of BS he gives is top notch. He's not just an avg joe saying he will be a multi-millionaire. Also I was a little naive, and really wanted a new friend when I moved to the city, so he filled this spot. he was my wing in a pickup course, so the relationship was useful for me bc we would go out together. until this year when started to see under the curtain. - I learnt that a different friend who sometimes is an asshole and a complicated person can also be a real person. maybe it's an asshole but at least its real and that deserves some respect! Keeping this friend in spite of his rough edges has been a great thing in my life, I realize it's a good person w rough edges and complicated parts. People are complex! - Learnt to surf, Portuguese, to spend 2 weeks alone and enjoy it, I'm learning BJJ and chess. - Had an 8 day trip with my mother only the 2 of us! and connected w her at a level I was never able to do. All these things mentioned required emotional investment and I grew a lot from them. Things I feel not untrack with: Sexual relationships: I've been working on this for the entire year, after I broke up with my GF and spending some time to process the situation I immediately started doing DAYGAME and using Tinder. Since June to today I cold approached 191 girls. Since June I banged 3 girls: one from cold approach and 2 from Tinder. But I've been stuck in a sexless plateau for the last 2 months and I fear not being able to get out. I'll keep this research in my personal paper journal

the lower we go it becomes more interesting. Women in the 50th percentile may struggle to get a quality relationship similarly to how a 50th percentile man struggles to get sex. Who struggles more? I don't know. Women will say their life is harder, men will say theirs is harder.

The level of men who can have plenty of sex without investing most of his time optimizing for it play on a same level as a top 20% woman(physically speaking), this women have plenty of quality options for a relationship. It's below the top 20% for women and top 10% for men where it becomes a mess.

LOL! that's what I meant! it can just happen for the top 3% of men. Everybody else must invest (often a lot) on it or be an incel.

I agree, also the only men who deliberately try to sleep with a lot of women do it because otherwise they won't get any sex. Or they are deeply traumatized bc they were incels in the past. They only times I've had decent amounts of sex where when My life moved around trying to get sex, else I become an incel. Not being able to get sex is deeply traumatizing