Razard86

Dealing with people is never an issue, dealing with yourself is the issue. Other people just show you your shadow. You said you are tired of dealing with other people's shadow? If their shadow bothers you, then its YOUR shadow. Your perspective will keep you alone. Whenever you have an issue in a relationship you must always look inward. The moment you blame someone else (we all do it even I do, but I stop myself lol) you are saying they have power over you. They don't. You are the ultimate authority in your life. Boundaries is easy, just be honest with yourself. If you don't want to do something....don't do it! If you want to do something do it! Its that simple! If you do not like someone's actions, tell them respectfully. If they disrespect you, you can either make a joke out of it, block then, or ignore them. The choice is yours. But you should only keep people close who energize you. If you are around people who are draining you, leave them. Honor yourself first, you DESERVE LOVE, BOTH FROM YOURSELF AND OTHERS. (Doesn't mean you force others to love you, but you don't tolerate abuse under any circumstances). Treat others with that same respect as well.

Yeah I can give you one if you want. I have been developing one the past 3 years and I believe I have a healthy one. I'll make a post in this forum later on today on how to have a healthy relationship with others. There is a phrase I use "Everything starts with you." The model will be based on your relationship with yourself. I will also reveal right now....how much of a mirror reality is....our desire to connect on this forum with each other and give each other advice and encouragment....is really a reflection of what we desire to do for ourselves. When we encourage others....the message we are telling them is really what we are telling ourselves. This is why you see people who may have been a raped...start an organization to help those who have been rape process through it. You want to help others heal....because you want to heal as well. And if you already healed....then you are doing it because you know how it felt and want others to get through it. We can never take ourselves out of the equation when it comes to relating to people.

This!!!! and more THIS!!!! Don't put such high expectations on people. People WILL LET YOU DOWN, YOU let yourself down. We are flawed it happens!!! If you cannot accept other people's imperfections then that means you cannot accept your own. Relationships only exist to point to how you feel about yourself. So if you don't like other people....you don't like yourself. Please be kinder to yourself. You deserve to be loved, both by yourself and others. But you first need to give it yourself. Allow this to happen and making friends will and maintaining those relationships will be a piece of cake.

Great take baby steps if you have to, and don't judge where you are ever. You are love itself, so give yourself all the love you deserve it!!

Correct. So next question....where do you think the desire to be MORE PRODUCTIVE comes from? I'm sure when you mean productive you are also saying you want to be more efficient (get more done in the shortest time possible) as well right? So now ask yourself.....where would this desire to be productive come from? Hint: I'm not saying its bad...its to point out the source of these desires.....

We really need to stop generalizing suffering, even in early childhood as a bad thing. For me it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I literally would not be who I am as a persona without it. One of the reasons people take so long to turn inward....is because they were able to forge healthy relationships. I was bullied and isolated....so I had no choice as a result but to self reflect, self inquire, and the rest is history. I had no choice but to fall in love with myself since I spent so much time with myself. My bad times have had more of a positive impact on my life than the good times. They always forced me out my comfort zone and into some type of growth. The good times just gave me peace and security which is good for resting between the tough times. So you can speak for people in general. Now I'm not saying my childhood was as bad as being raped or full of drugs. But I did have a father that repeatedly told me I was stupid for most of my life lol. Also use to beat me just because he was angry as well. There is more stuff....but yeah all those things taught me compassion, and increased my Self-Love.

The Universe is made of nothing. Please explain to me....how you are going to create a TOE of nothing. Additionally Reality is infinite....so again...how are you going to create a TOE of infinity? So the answer is No. You can however learn generalizations. Which is what Spirituality currently has under control. We have a lot of nice generalizations that can help you conceptualize reality. But again....Science will NEVER EVER DISCOVER EVEN 50% of known data in the universe. Think of it like this. You are in a race against infinity....and it keeps constantly changing. How would you ever catch up? You cannot. So all you will ever have is broad generalizations with some small specialties but they will always just be cracking the surface. Science doesn't even totally understand the brain, or even the depths of the ocean or space....and you think we going to create a TOE of the Universe? Let me ask you a question....explain to me who you are. Give me a map of you. Have you found yourself? Humanity can't even find themselves... and you are talking about a TOE? Humanity hasn't even fulfilled Socrate's first statement "Know thyself." I hope you can realize what you are asking....

Umm Benton....have you ever considered that somebody does know? Do you honestly think in a world of about 7.9 billion people ONLY you have the type of experiences you have? Notice the words and phrases you are using. "I end up alone my entire life.", "And nobody will talk to me." "Nobody know what it is like to be at a baseline consciousness where if I space off for to long my vision begins to get very psychedelic. Nobody knows what it’s like when what's real for me isn’t real for them. " Now try this experiment....read those lines....and pretend someone else is saying that. Then ask yourself....what advice would you give them. By the way as a hint....what you claimed happened to you....has happened to me and I read another poster on this forum who had some of those same experiences as well. So me and that guy alone already debunked your nobody knows what it is like perspective..... Please understand....as long as you take certain perspectives....you will limit your own experiences in life. With your current perspective...you WILL BE ALONE. Understand that your current beliefs will cause you to project onto different situations and will stop any potential outcomes that are opposite to what you believe.

I use to feel this way....then realized it was my own bias. All topics are valid as jokes....but it doesn't make all jokes funny. The point of comedy is to bring to the forefront what the group is afraid to speak about. Comedians, the great ones, can bring out the collective shadow of humanity and poke fun at it. Thus forcing humanity to look at its reflection and laugh at its foolishness. Only the great comedians are capable of this.

No human has 100 percent ever met their own standards. Its that imperfection in us we are often afraid to face. In psychology it is called the shadow and is the reason other people "bother" us. If we as humans truly loved ourselves unconditionally "nothing" would bother us when we interact with humans. We must first learn to love our flaws, before we can love the flaws of others. Suffering comes from the judgment of our flaws which we project onto life and say things like "Life is unfair." Life is only unfair because of your judgment. If it doesn't go your way you hate it, and if it goes your way you love it. But if it went your way all the time....that means somebody else is having a bad day everyday lol. (This isn't directed at you by the way) This is just a general post. We all collectively got some shadow work to do.

I'm glad you are noticing. Yes reality is a paradox....you just discovered one of them. The key to life is balance....if you go too far in any direction....it becomes the opposite. This is because all opposites meet. Love and hate meet, unorganized and disorganized meet, light and shadow meet, tall and short meet, and the list goes on. This is the secret of how everything is one because they are just opposites of the same thing .....that always meet.

I use to have this problem for certain issues. I have some good news and bad news for you. Here is the good news. It is very unlikely to happen to you. Everybody's life is different. When I was young I thought I was at risk for certain things because of statistics....then I discovered that it was completely false. All comparison is illusion, but hey it can be fun sometimes. Here is the bad news.....whatever you pay attention to you can attract. If you keep thinking one of these things will happen to you...IT WILL. So unless you want that to happen stop paying some much attention to these fears, unless you want to live a self-fulfilling prophecy. By the way I know of two guys this happened to, it use to be one of my fears, not anymore. I've since learned the kind of guys this happens too have certain....past actions they have taken. Its why I said your journey is YOUR JOURNEY. Unless you are doing some of the same things....you are probably good.

Power statements never heard of this before. Its cool. For me I would say my power statement would be "My value and the value of all is from existence. We are valuable because we are here."

Ehhh I wouldn't say flaws... its just another form of expression. Each of our forms of expression has their own limitation. Me and you just have different perspectives so we are going to see things differently. Reminds me of that probe metaphor Leo used in one of his videos in the past. We are just probing from different angles, different perspectives and so we will see different things. God is the ultimate trickster. Depending on our perspective we will see something different.

Hilariously I had the same reaction as you. I saw it and was like...yeah I'm good.

I think you are getting bursts of kundalini. You may be close to a kundalini awakening.

....... I swear I feel like you guys aren't even trying anymore. Let me ask you some questions. Name some characteristics of the Ego. What is the ego obsessed with?

Lol all of you in this thread are wasting your time. He is not going to accept any answer you guys give him. Notice what he is saying he wants? He wants control. This entire thread is a desire for control. Unless you can give him an answer as to why he doesn't have full control....he won't accept it. I'm only commenting because I know all of you are well meaning and are going to keep trying to explain to him about Love, and selflessness, etc. He has no desire for any of that. He wants to be all-powerful and have complete control. Be glad that Source doesn't think like that at the highest level.

I'm so glad you get it. People don't seem to understand that God is multifaceted. They keep trying to put God in a box. They do not understand what it means to be ABSOLUTE INFINITY. Here is a secret (and it has been said before so this is a reminder) God cannot be spoken, the truth cannot be spoken. Whatever we say God is....isn't it. There hasn't been a language invented that can describe God. Everything we say is just a sign post that points....and then when you look at that direction.....nothing is there lol. So its funny when people try to correct you....they do not realize. You can't correct someone on what God is or isn't. God is everything, and God is nothing. Out of nothing...springs everything. So when two people debate about God.....THEY ARE ARGUING ABOUT NOTHING!!! Its hilarious!!!

Well yes it definitely can when you are giving yourself the same love you give to others. I'm sorry you don't experience a higher quality of consciousness. I can only speak for myself but when I raise my vibration and remain open....let's just say things get interesting.

I actually gave you a ton of practical advice...if you want to be a philosopher the first thing you need to do....is stop looking for a specific answer. At the highest level a philosopher is OPEN. Right now your gaze is focused....so because of that....you interpret things very narrowly. There were a lot of things in my post that actually gave a lot of suggestions....but if you are not open....you will not see. But I'll give you what you want since you want people to give you advice. But understand...with each advice we give you....you are downloading OUR way of thinking within you....a philosopher's greatest contribution is THEIR perspective. So your ability to maintain your own unique perspective will be the key to that. But the answer is VERY simple. Make social media accounts and post insights. If you want to get paid you need eye balls. So every week at least post something profound or interesting on your social media. It doesn't even have to be original thoughts of your own. Just the ability to bring forth a unique perspective of an EXISTING concept can work wonders!!! Philosophy is just a mirror game. You are getting paid to show people different ways of looking at things. Think of a philosopher as a map drawer. You are drawing maps of reality for people to integrate into their own personal realities. After you post every week and gain a decent following. Then you can do live videos, start writing ebooks, make a website, publish a book, maybe do a book tour, arrange meetups and potentially tour as a lecturer. There I game you some ideas.....now...no more complaining...more CONTEMPLATING.

Lol I'm glad you noticed....I appreciate your intelligent insight. I think you are starting to see how my wacky brain works huh?

I agree....but I'd argue that selflessness raises your vibration....which allows you to see and experience reality at a higher vibration. This does raise your baseline awareness level.

Lol thanks I will definitely try!! Maybe turn this into a mirror series.

You: I am raised in a very close knit family. Growing up there was no concept of boundaries in my childhood. I have been through physical, verbal, emotional and mental abuse, the whole package , in my married life. I had a similar issue with my Dad and certain bullies from my childhood so I can relate. Boundaries are important. I struggled with this myself because I had believed that love was sacrifice. It is, but love is also...love of self. You need to be your own best friend first. Your own romantic lover first. So the first question you need to ask yourself if you ever feel any anger, or fear from someone is "Do I feel like I am being attacked?" If so then you have the right to kindly assert your boundary and let the person know how their actions are impacting you. If the person gets defensive and tries to blame you by calling you sensitive.... then give them the same medicine!!!! (LOL I'm joking but I've done it in the past....guilty pleasure) But seriously if they call you sensitive that lets you know two things. THEY ARE SENSITIVE, and are BEING INSENSITIVE TO YOU! So create some space because this is not healthy for either you or them. You: Today, I reach out because I need to understand, move on, and process the consistent feeling of guilt, self-doubt, auto-programming of mind to please family. I am trying very hard to setup boundaries, take care of myself and "focus" on my life. I fail at times and then I pull myself together again. I feel I am stuck at a loop. You are only failing because you feel like you have a duty to others. YOU DON'T!! DUTY is an illusion. Either do something out of love or don't do it at all. Do not allow anyone to guilt you into anything! If you do not believe that action is in alignment with how you wish to express yourself don't do it! You are sovereign!! You are life itself!! You true nature is love, so please provide yourself the love you give to others. You deserve it!! You: All my siblings think I am evil, crook, and many other things... my truth is that I have never borrowed money from anyone of them, have never lived with them in their homes. Non of them have jobs and they are either dependent on their partners or parents. I have been living on my own for 13 years and I have never moved back in with my parents. I also have a child who I took care of myself. How should I deal with my siblings? My parents are diplomatic, they need to keep all their kids happy. I start believing in what they label me as. The only opinion that matters in life at the end of the day is yours. You are the Ultimate Authority in your life and you can either choose to exercise that power or give it away to others. You only believe what they label you because you trust their opinions over that of your own. This means you need to trust yourself more. You need more self-love. Please give yourself the love that you give others. Don't deny the best part of you, from you.