Razard86

I'm going to add on to my previous post. Do people in this forum want healthy relationships or not? If you do, stop looking for ways to control outcomes in a relationship. Tell a person you are with what are some things you want and some things you don't want. A relationship is a negotiation. If you do not communicate the relationship will end. If you try to control your partner the relationship will end. If you are co-dependent the relationship will end. If you think of yourself over your partner the relationship will end. If you have poor boundaries the relationship will end. As a man if you take things personal when your woman loses her cool, the relationship will end. As a woman if you don't learn to consider your man's perspective your relationship will end. A relationship is about two lives coming together. Here is what you men and women are getting wrong. So I'll help. THE MASCULINE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE FEMININE AND THE FEMININE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE MASCULINE. So what does that mean? For a woman to get close to a man, she must learn to understand the masculine inside her. For a man to get close to his woman he must understand the feminine within him. All relationships between men and women is just them having relationships with the polar opposite of their energy expression. When a man can respect his emotions and feelings he can respect his woman's emotions and feelings. When a woman can respect her logic and rationale then she can respect her man's logic and rationale. That's it. Its that simple. Watch this video also. It can help wrap your mind around what I am talking about also.

This is hilarious!! I am going to tell you a secret about women. Most women have dealt with men who have lied their entire life. Women never forget an honest man. NEVER EVER. Do you hear me? 99.9% of men lie to women. So one you won't be forgotten, you will have set yourself apart. 2. Women are attracted to Masculinity. What does this mean? Your value comes from you!!! Stop wondering what she may think of you if you do this or that! A man who is authentically himself regardless of what others think is the sexiest man to a woman. 3. Trying to control whether a woman likes you or not is needy, and neediness turns women off. A man who is comfortable in his own skin is what women want. A woman wants to be desired by her man, but not NEEDED by her man. She wants her man to value himself and not NEED her to provide the value he desires in himself. So how do you accomplish this? TWO WAYS. Be comfortable being alone. Be okay losing her. If you are afraid to lose your women, YOU WILL LOSE HER. Now I was in the EXACT SAME SITUATION as you. I kept my virginity all the way into my 30's. Then I lost my virginity with a HOT GIRL lol. I told her I was a virgin, she THOUGHT I WAS LYING!!! It turned her off that I had no experience, but with boldness I got her to want to give me a try. It turned out terrible as I had no experience, and she was impatient. LOL but because of my honesty I got a lot more tries afterward. Also here is another reason you don't lie to her....because she will find out. A virgin is not going to be a superstar with sex, you are a virgin!!! LOL she is going to find out anyway. So be honest!! Besides if you start lying to her you will HAVE NO REASON TO GET MAD IF SHE LIES TO YOU!! Honesty is the best policy.

Absolutely all karma is one!!! We are all in this together no matter how many times I make Leo want to vomit in his own mouth!!! And I'm not gonna let him live that comment down lol.

Lol I love your perspective. Stop making me feel all these good feelings!! LOL In all seriousness though...who is Ralston? Never heard of him.

I can barely force myself to finish the first episode. Its on Hulu for free if you want to watch it. I'll force myself to finish it reluctantly but its long. What I do know, is dealing with groups of mentally unstable people as an individual is tough. Because each person is living out the their trauma in the present moment either at the same time or sporadically and as one person that is a lot of fearful people lashing out. If you are NOT strong at enforcing boundaries, or have some unresolved traumas yourself they will trigger you, and pull you into their emotional vortex. Its funny, people on the outside looking in will judge Teal, but if you put them in her same position many would probably react much worse. This is not absolve any of her negative behavior but for people in general to understand that context matters.

Everyone you ever meet is just dealing with their own perspective on life. This is called projection. Projection is not personal, why? Because when a person projects they are not in the present moment, they are in their head. I don't think a lot of people understand what a projection is. A projection is just a person placing opinions and judgments on a neutral situation. Example: A guy's girlfriend said she is going to the store. This guy was cheated on by his ex-girlfriend with the phrase "I'm going out for a bit. I'll be back in a little while." This guy then projects his past experience onto the present experience and accuses said girlfriend of trying to go out and meet some dude. Neutral situation: Girlfriend going to the store. Projection: They must be trying to cheat on me. Projection happens because of past fear. A trauma, a hurt, that has not yet healed. As a result when something in the present triggers that past hurt, the person relives that fear in the present moment and plays out that fear on you. So think about this....IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!! The person is just living in the past. Now in truth all mental illness stem from this. A habit of living from the past and projecting onto the present moment. Even their fears of the future are just projection again. Unresolved fears from the past used as a predictive model to foresee the future. As long as you don't live in the present moment, you are always projecting. This is why Eastern Philosophy teaches to be in the present. Drop all judgment, and live in the present. Only when you can do that, does the mental suffering you create vanish. Also...go watch Leo's video on Ketamine. It can put this into context as well. Anyway...don't take it personal when a person is projecting. Because at that moment, they are not even present. They are just reliving their past pain in the present moment. It has nothing to do with you!!!

Here ya go. https://www.androidpolice.com/2020/07/18/the-best-android-browsers-with-dark-mode/

I took a mushroom called Jedi Mind Fuck....and you are correct it had sex with my mind. LOL. https://www.google.com/search?q=Jedi+mindfuck&rlz=1C1VDKB_enUS991US992&sxsrf=ALiCzsYFz9aLMksQikUmveT5SpV4G3uHuA:1655695026448&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiy6KDPiLv4AhWJD0QIHUYODqoQ_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1280&bih=616&dpr=1.5

Read this first. https://www.mind-your-reality.com/everyone-is-your-mirror.html The key to having the type of relationship you want is to figure out you. You need to be radically honest with yourself about what you like. You also need to pay attention to projection. Read about it here. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projection We all do it from time to time. But the key to getting the relationships we want is to stop looking at the situation as something happening to us. Life doesn't happen to us, we happen and we experience our happenings lol. Nobody enters into a relationship with us without our permission. Nobody does anything repeatedly without our permission. It is human nature for us to blame others for things, it makes us feel good. But that is why few people ever get what they want. It is when we look at ourselves and the part we played that we can see how certain situations arise. It takes two people to be in a relationship, and two people to fight. Both played a role, which means both should take ownership. It you can face yourself and the role you play then you can find the solutions you need. Here are some tips. 1. Find out what you like and don't like and make a list. This needs to be what attracts you, and ask yourself if it is healthy. Take responsibility for what you are attracted too. People say attraction isn't a choice, it is. I've tested it out in my own life and what you are attracted to is heavily influenced by your beliefs. Change your beliefs you change the attraction. 2. Figure out what role you want to play in a relationship, and figure out what role you want the guy to play. 3. Be willing to negotiate. If you cannot negotiate the relationship will die. Negotiation is the lifeblood of all relationships. 4. Forgiveness. You need to be willing to forgive yourself and the other person. Guilt kills love quick in a relationship. 5. Get rid of the notion of expectations and duty. Do everything out of love, which means only do something that you want and not because you think you have to. Otherwise you will harbor resentment when it isn't done back to you (reciprocated). 6. Whatever you feel is lacking in the relationship don't always look to your partner to fill it. If the relationship is lacking excitement and you think that is something you good at bringing, then bring the excitement. A relationship is a team game, both parties are needed for the game to succeed.

I'm both. I literally have no preference. I can be a night owl because I like to stay up. But If I need to go to bed early I can become a morning person. I like both equally though.

Mind unpacking this? For all the right reasons you said....

The whole basis for your disagreement eludes you. How would you know if someone was enlightened or not? Just because somebody says a bunch of things wouldn't be proof. You barely know yourself, you think you would really know? Also if you think an enlightened person is immune to burning themselves in protest then you are placing limits on reality. You are free to do that, but then you will just cease to grow in knowledge. Your choice.

Hmm Good post, can't disagree for the time being. I do think humanity could reach a point where these issues wouldn't exist. But yes at the present level of consciousness humanity is at, these are good rules to follow.

Keep searching. The beauty is this whole thing is whatever you desire to know, you can find out. So just put that intention out there and you can find out. One of the secrets I'm noticing people are getting tripped up on is the word ONE and Infinity. They don't seem to understand it, and thats why they don't understand the Infinity of Gods. Study some near death experiences, it will give you some clues to piece the puzzle together.

I think he would tell us first before he did.

Watch this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diPhrDPH8U8

Who didn't know this would be a curb stomp? LOL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oL2FRNOCKfg

All true!!! Every word in this post is true!! Even the comical aspect!!! We are all so funny!!! That is why comedy exists!! We need to allow ourselves to laugh at our silliness!!! Thanks for this post!!! I love you all!!

This is also true!!! Its my greatest weakness!! I keep trying to tell people what they shouldn't do, and not being okay with allowing them to fail!! Its so true!! Some things people need to experience to appreciate the wisdom of your advice. It hurts when it is someone you care about....but they got to go through some of the things you went through at their own pace and own time. I love your post man!!!

I'm glad you know the secret. The irony is...what you are talking about is integrating the feminine. The feminine tames the Masculine's need for control. Also The feminine within you is how you interact with the feminine outside you. The reason you won't need a woman's approval, is because the feminine within you approves of you. Everything you said is true, but what it reveals is you need to complete the Inner marriage, before you can have a true outer marriage. I love this post! Keep dropping wisdom bombs!!! Do it as much as the U.S. bombs the world.

You won't believe how scared I was to do so and I recognized instantly why. I was too concerned with how I would look, "Then I was like well this is the real me, my most authentic self. Why should I be afraid of this?" I'm going to keep doing that. Questioning a fear till its silliness causes it to fade away. I've done it in the past but I've gone away from it. Thanks for your response!!

I have a desire for people to succeed. My greatest fear is for others to make the same mistakes I have made. I give advice so that people can avoid certain pitfalls. I've realized I have an insatiable desire to control people through forcefully trying to get them to agree with me on topics. I realize I lack self-love in this topic. The truth is I'm trying to live out vicariously through others, by trying to push them where I am scared to go myself. I refuse to avoid looking at calling myself out. I've noticed its the greatest fear others have. Its not that I like being called out, its that I hate not knowing what issues may lie below the surface. Humanity fears the truth above all else. I'm not just talking just absolute truth a.k.a. God. Humans fear examining their actions, or the motivations behind said actions, or the consequences of said actions. I'm motivated to these things and I project it onto others. Its ridiculous, I become callous and try to force the person to look at themselves, to self-reflect, and to come to terms with the feelings they avoid so much. It has tested many of my relationships, it has causes distance between us even driven one friend away. But they always come back, always come back saying things like "What you said was true, I needed that" etc. But it pains me because its an obsession I have with myself that I force upon others. I want others to believe in themselves, to see the best in themselves, and I know the motivation behind those actions is because its what I most want for me. Again all projection. I'm projecting so much its sickening. Its funny, even though I am like this I love this aspect of myself. But I realize, its not healthy. I may need to distance myself from the pain of others, and focus on the pain I have within. I'm just using others as a distraction, its funny I thought I didn't have any real trauma, but anytime you have a negative reaction it means you have a fear/bias/trauma there. My greatest fear is that I cannot save others, which really just means that I believe I cannot save myself. So I will have learn to trust myself more, both the little me, and God me. Trust that everything is under control. I know it is, but sometimes I forget when I watch others suffer. You all really do not understand how connected we are. When you suffer, we all suffer. I thought I could shield myself from the sufferings of others...I cannot. I believe you are not meant to. You are meant to experience both the Absolute and the Relative perspective. Here is a Ram Dass video that illustrates this point. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym4Rpd72tq8

.....The relative is a dream. Again its a dream. Its a dream that at our baseline level feels real so for you its real. I won't deny its realness because that is how God creates. But you are not understanding. You cannot conflate something from which something comes forth. If I want to understand a plant, I need to understand the seed. If I want to understand a child I need to understand the parent. You need to study the absolute to understand the relative. The focus should be on the absolute. The relative is constantly changing, it is impermanent. The Absolute does not change. Its permanent. That means you need to study the Absolute and frame things from that perspective first if you want to understand the impermanent. Basically don't get lost in the ego games, transcend them. Ask yourself that if you are the creator and you just fell asleep, if you were to awaken in the dream what would be the purpose for it. Notice God has given its characters in the dream the opportunity to awaken to this. What would be the purpose behind it? I'm sure its not to spend time debating on the impermanent constantly changing reality that the character has very little influence over. Its not conflation, its perspective correction. In the words of Paul When I was a child I did as a child, when I became a man I put away childish things. Even Jesus stated not to worry about tomorrow. Every time we debate....we are just playing an ego game. I've debated for years on almost every topic both in person and online and after all those years (30 +) you realize...its pointless. The zeitgeist is going to be what it is. You only have a small influence over it. It transcends your finite being. So basically its better for me to share, listen more, and accept what is, versus debating all the time about what should be better. That's the gist of what I am saying. But the great thing is...you are free to do as you will. I'll love you all the same. Watch this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI220ydXj1Q This man leads a ridiculous number of people. You have Billionaire and Millionaire CEOs asking him how he does it. Its this. The problem with growing up in Western Culture is we have been taught to be opinionated and to critique and debate, and dissect, etc etc. It doesn't work long term because eventually the person feels like they cannot do anything right. Notice also, your life will start to feel that way as well. Because yourself won't be able to reach your own standards if you direct it towards yourself.

You are like a brother from another mother man! Love you too man!!! Everything you said is true and I love your ability to combine poetry and prose together. Its like you know how to make poetry and prose make love with each other and create a powerful image. Its like as Tupac would say "You paint a perfect picture" and you do it with your words! So thank you for that. You know in Indian Culture Shiva's love is likened to the Sun! So I guess I'm displaying a Shiva characteristic lol. And yes you are right, we are all One and the same. We are just playing with our self. So I am going to show more compassion for me and others and only give breadcrumbs. When they ask for more I will give more, and not try to force feed them. I will trust the greater intelligence at hand. Everything is actually perfect.

Yes and this is what I must master. Which is why I love Leo's how to love others video. Its like the perfect video of how to truly show platonic love. I would only alter some of it for romantic love (I'd add spontaneity, humor, playfulness, for romantic love and then keep everything the same). But yes I need to learn the balance. Thanks as always. Your responses always warm my being!!