squarewave

@Michal__ Oh hell yes. I have used sex and drugs to manifest some of my deepest desires and cravings and at some point it felt like a deal with a devil. I pretty much saw the all powerful devil/god that I am without any filter. But it did put me on the right track because before those fantasies came to reality I had an obsession with them. No, I didn't get purified or banish the demon, but now I know the true power of intention. "Be careful what you wish for it might come true" hits different now.

Thank you for a reply) Can you cite any particular resources for that kind of knowledge?

I was wondering if any people on this forum practice stuff like ritual magick, tarot, astrology, invocation or some other esoteric systems/tools? Do you see any value in exploring those or do you think of it as a consequence of some mental illness?

I totally agree. Language is always the map and not the territory. But the map can also be drawn in a variety of ways, some of which go past the traditional discussion that we tend to have with each other. Religious texts and symbols imo actually do a better job at describing spiritual experiences than traditional western school of thought, which kind of resembles maths in a way that it is basically a bunch of straight lines connecting various dots in a binary code kind of way. You can have a deep spiritual experience through talk, but only when you accept something beyond your comprehension. Hence teacher/student mechanic. It's about letting yourself into a trance. Not about reaching the logical conclusion, which usually is the point of any discussion.

Recently I've been thinking about how awkward spiritual talks between so called students are. When two students get into a very deep spiritual talk, there is the inevitable clumsiness that comes with it. We start playing around with language in a funny way, we go over the same idea over and over. We try to talk about something so obvious and True but the more we talk the further we delude it. This I think is because we are all the same God looking through different eyes. So we constantly meet ourselves. And spiritual talk inevitably reaches the point of acknowledgement of that. And then it becomes awkward. It's like when two men are in love with the same women and realise that they both have the same kind of love and desire that they can't hide from. And so their talk become meaningless. That but amplified to infinity. It's like stimbling upon a friend from your early childhood that you barely remember but it awakens so many deep emotions in you and don't know what to do with it. Also that but amplified to infinity. I remember Leo talking about how if two people on a highest level of understanding met, that would be a silent meeting. But since we are all student sort of in the middle human journey, we can't really stand still in those meeting, so we break the silence and distract ourselves with endless senseless talk, basically beating around the bush haha That's why teacher/student dynamic is so important. One talks, other listens. One teaches, other learns. But it's important to keep in mind that no other human is truly your teacher, and not your student. The highest teacher is God and only God. And your own most important student is yourself.

We always need creativity to find a path on a map but then we need courage and discipline to actually walk this path to at least try it and see if we were deluding ourselves with our ideas or were we true to ourselves. Creativity without a call for action is simply a fantasy. Think of what represents "all creativity/no discipline" the best. It's the psychosis. Discipline without creativity is death. Think of what represents "all discipline/no creativity" the best. It's the military, carrier of death. And that's actually what complicates conscious creation so much and that's why all of our creations will always be imperfect and will reflect our biases. That's Karma. We can think of creation as an act of spirit and discipline/action as an act of flesh/body/energy. Both always occur at the same time. But our minds are out of balance because we try to cherry pick the aspects of life that we like. We are both the spirit and the body and the silent awareness that mediates it all. So what we need to do to eliminate suffering is to make three of those as unified as it can be. This means never ignoring anything. This means to follow through with our ideas but at the same time to always stay open and lively and playful and not try to mortify ourselves with a constant stream of robotic actions. Order in the chaos, chaos in the order. Whether you need to be more conservative or more liberal in your actions is completely dependent on the phase and context. Don't try to find a straight path. Just listen to your deepest call. It will guide you through life and teach you by exposing your mistakes and misconceptions. Don't choose psychosis, don't choose death. Choose Life and God and Love.