Hi Matt.
this part I'm quoting from your post is what strikes me most in your speech. I don't agree on the fact that you have no reason to wake up early. You yourself are that reason! I think Indulging in a late-night routine and staying in bed until late morning/afternoon, mainly because you are not currently imployed in any kind of job, is contributing to your feeling of having lost touch with reality, of loneliness and despair.
There is nothing else on this whole planet that deserves your commitment more than yourself! Don't you owe it to your own self? Remember, you are the most important person in your life
Why not try to establish a healthier routine, waking up at a reasonable time in the morning (not saying you should dash out of bed at 7 a.m!) and benefit from the daylight... and maybe think of a way you can dedicate some of your time to something more meaningful to you, such as volunteering for instance (or any other activity that can take you out of your house for some hours).
I went through a similar crisis during last Christmas holidays, when I was on holiday from work for two whole weeks and felt very lonely (43 years old and single, recently moved to another town, all my - few - friends engaged or married with children, thus with very different interests and with a life on their own which they're all not so prone to sharing). One morning I woke up and just realized that if I didn't make any move to get out of this situation, no one on Earth would do it for me; I felt responsible to myself, as much as my very own best friend or family. So I started questioning that 'victim thinking habit' and I can now spot it very clearly even before a single thought of that sort starts shaping in my consciousness. You might want to address that as well, to initiate an effective perspective shift (very useful Leo's videos on that subject).
You can do it if you really want it, Matt. You have all the resources you need inside yourself, you only need to start realising that the effort you'll need to endure towards change is way way smaller than the gain you will get. And I can assure you the path itself is already a gain, as far as I'm concerned!
Keep tough, and please post some updating every now and then! (And please, excuse my wobbly English, I'm not English mother-tongue).
A hug!
Maya
