Toby

key is to not do anything regardless if you are doing a retreat or doing a lot of external stuff.

Ramana Maharshi: Collected Works, Be As You Are Nisargadatta Maharaj: Every book you can find. Adyashanti: Every book. For his teaching in a condensed form you can download "the way of liberation" for free.

For me it is more about depth. Sitting in meditation or with a master. Or binding my shoelaces. Nothing compares when it hits you that this is it.

I don't know how you write about ego "scientifically" and then tell us there are no resources. Is this more an essay in high school? Then you should go with Freud and Jung but also make clear that these are only models/maps and that there are hundreds of other theories out there. You could also throw in research from neuroscience where the "I" is investigated or rather proven to be an illusion.

"Be what you cannot not be" - Karl Renz

"Don't worry. Be happy." - Meher Baba.

Ok. Well, I don't have kids myself either, but a little bit of experience working with them (age 3-10) and it is almost not possible to meet them with any prepared concepts and agendas. They mirror you everything that's not aligned within oneself. It's almost like adults can learn more from kids than the other way round. For me they pick up a lot of things that are not spoken, so it's basically the job of the parent to be as much in peace with themselves / world as they can be, rather than impose ideas or non-ideas on the kids. It's an interesting and challenging topic for sure. Looking forward to the video.

@Leo Gura do you have kids?

Doesn't sound like it makes a lot of sense. Talk to those people you want to and don't talk to them you don't want to. Also only join groups/clubs you want to. Problem solved.

David Hawkins (LSD): https://youtu.be/I8nrC7G96j0 Sam Harris: https://youtu.be/XOET9n8wnmo

Besides beings like Timothy Leary, Ram Dass, Aldous Huxley and Alan Watts, I heard quite a few "teachers" speak on mainly LSD, Mescaline and DMT. As I was watching and searching a bit on youtube I felt to share what I found: Isaac Shapiro (talks about 4 Minutes about LSD) https://youtu.be/mByCvF0hdlo?t=57s Eli Jaxon-Bear (talks few seconds on LSD) https://youtu.be/BTP1XruXc6I?t=33m42s Ken Wilber on Ayahuasca: https://youtu.be/Y_e-tOxwi3I Mooji on Ayahuasca: https://youtu.be/F-rqj2fRh8M JP Sears on Ayahuasca: https://youtu.be/7_u0reE6bjI Deepak Chopra on Drugs: https://youtu.be/C23pzvs2ERI Eckhart Tolle on LSD: https://youtu.be/RofybYVNCe4?t=4m40s https://youtu.be/Mz0e9LrOsyk?t=1h1m19s Dalai Lama on Psychedelics: https://youtu.be/vnQr2AqVpIU OSHO: About Drugs https://youtu.be/9PkjfMW3I0I Sadhguru https://youtu.be/-S2wAjLwNUs https://youtu.be/yL_fgyXXnSM https://youtu.be/OwWLU6rA9P0 Gary Weber https://youtu.be/Un-avof3h38 https://youtu.be/FG1gZ-agjvY You could add other videos or responses if you like. Thanks.

It's ok that you feel that way, but I don't really see the benefits in killing one self. But there is a time for each one of us to come and go. And you never know when and how death will occur. So you could wait until death arrives. If I were in your position - and I am not (I tried to feel what you wrote as much as I could though) - I would maybe look if there are some videos of people that inspire you on youtube where they talk about death or physical suffering or suicide. So that you can put your situation in perspective. Not to escape, but to find the peace that is nevertheless here in abundance. You don't have to kill yourself to find peace imo.

As guided meditations I still like these (first includes 8, second 3 guided meditations): http://www.soundstrue.com/store/guided-meditations.html http://www.soundstrue.com/store/true-meditation-3991.html You can get them also on Audible afaik. Other than that just silence is good too if that works for you.

Actually there are many - even spiritual - people whose "gut feeling" or intuition is conditioned by thought and is mainly a projection and distortion. It takes a lot of skill and vigilance not to project imo. For some it might be easy of course.

It is not just about the technique what you might be doing right or wrong. When you sit with a good teacher you notice things that would otherwise take years on your own. It might be that you are doing something "wrong" (even if there is nothing wrong ultimately) and not knowing it. So you could look for a retreat if you don't have a teacher where you live.

How do you define your life purpose?

Just to make this clear: do you want to make money or do you want to make money as a coach/youtuber?

Isn't the Mooji Ashram in Portugal somewhere? Maybe you could attend some meetings there if truth is what you want?

How does it feel during the meditation?

Another teacher that does art is Karl Renz: http://karlrenz.de/BIO/bio.html Also Ramana or Nisargadatta wrote poems. Also a form of art. So you never know what life wants from you.

I bought the the audiobook "the one of us" from Adyashanti and his wife Mukti some time ago. I found it very enlightening regarding relationship from an awakened perspective.

I don't take any written notes. I let what is written resonate and I know that whats really important I will remember if I have to. This doesn't apply if it's about books for studying or work or something like that. But spiritual books or psychological books or self help or whatever, I just let them ring in my soul and see what resonates and penetrates.

Could you be a bit more specific? What is it that you like / don't like about the job and the people?

What I know from dudes studying math with me back then is this: some of them failed big time in the first and second semester, but some of them that failed (many quit of course) even ended up getting a math Phd. So you never know. If you like what you are doing, I would give it at least another year before you go or are forced to go. Or are there any obvious options that you have right now?

Irina Tweedie and Anandamayi Ma are amazing. And also Bernadette Roberts.