Toby

Incubus - Absolution Calling Pharrell Wiliams - Happy

What if a woman rejects a man, because she is attracted to him and would even have sex with him, but she also knows that her or his heart is not really involved? Maybe she knows better than wasting her / his time? This is not uncommon from my experience.

It's true. But it's often used in the wrong context. But for example "the power of now" is highly recommended and it was like this even ten years ago.

What are your goals? Do you want to get laid or do you want to find a relationship? It's actually very important to know because most pickup advice is aimed for short term success. Look at the "gurus" or your pickup friends. Are they really successful in relating to women over a long term or are they just successful in getting laid with some bag of tricks? Of course there is some good advice out there, for example Eckhart Tolle is recommended, David Deida and Osho. These are very good sources. But there is also a lot of BS. At least it was like that when I was involved in pickup 10 years ago.

A major false assumption and also sales pitch in the pickup community is this: "the man can control the reaction of the woman". And then there are different ways the man should go about. Of course there are some things about appearance or mindset that have a positive or negative effect. And of course you can also hypnotize women. But if the woman is looking for a genuine connection which lasts longer than some initial rush/high many things won't work. There is either a connection there or not. You cannot force a connection or somehow control life. It doesn't work that way.

There are even teachers that you can tell "fuck you" or "screw you" and nothing happens and both are happy.

@Evilwave Heddy probably: cold approach -> phone number -> asks her for a date on the phone -> she has no time to talk or for a date.

Don't ask this question. They probably don't know either. They have certain feel or attraction or not. It has nothing to do with you. And it cannot be explained in logical terms. For example: There might be women that you feel drawn to sexually but have only little interest to talk to or deepen some kind of relationship. If you were asked why, you wouldn't really know other than that you are not really drawn to her romantically. No reasons, no fault, no explanation. Nothing she could do to change that.

Don't focus on yourself only. It also depends on the other person and the chemistry or connection you have with them. With some there is just nothing really to talk about, even though they might seem attractive to you on some level. That is at least my experience.

The enlightenment process is actually a lot like sobering up from an addiction that promises satisfaction. It might feel dry and boring at times but this is a very important phase in that process imo. It's not that you do or don't do things, but as long as you try to get happiness from experiences, even spiritual experiences or states, it will not make you happy.

I guess some dudes that do kinesiology tested it and it tested weak. But after all, even though it is rather "negative"/contracting, it can ground you to some degree or show you that you are not defined by what's happening in you or your surrounding. I remember e.g. Adyashanti talking about a retreat where a neighbour played Led Zeppelin all day long. And it showed him what silence really is afaik. And I also remember Byron Katie playing Korn (her son is the producer Ross Robinson) during workshops/retreats. I am not sure why, maybe to evoke emotion or give "pain" a voice, I don't know. For me I'd rather not listen to it if I don't have to.

Doesn't matter. See what resonates and whom or what you are drawn to on your journey/exploration and stay with that. If he helps you with that, then that's fine. If not, fine, there are enough other teachers/dudes out there.

Stop reading pickup advise.

@aurum Sounds a bit like the default pickup-fundamentalist who wants to convert someone to his religion. From my own experience I wouldn't recommend it to most people.

So in what situations do you see her?

There are so many maps and imo much better maps than this one.

This is very common.

I don't know. Doesn't seem weird at all. Of course some people think primary in sensations/feelings and of course just thinking and mind can be felt as an energy in one's energy field. In NLP they discern different "channels" that people use or can use.

What you write is not exactly true. Many psychologists and even psychiatrists know that the diagnosis is just a label for a set of symptoms. And the label is used so that they can write a bill that insurance then pays for. They know that it is not real or true. But of course, there are also many pychologists who completely believe in the labels and labeling and see people completely as objects. Also, there a different view points and models in psychology. Some of them are actually very good. For example transpersonal psychology or some of CG Jung's work. I mean, CG actually studied Ramana Maharshi's teaching and other spiritual approaches. You see that in his work.

No. Ultimately yes, but it is absolutely possible to "jump" over the human existence to the Absolute and then use "who or what am I" to create that jump and not deal with the insecurity. So self-inquiry can be used as an "escape". But utimately it won't work anymore and you have to deal with your stuff and human emotions. So that's why the answer is ultimately yes.

I don't see any problems here. As far as I understood, you want to study something else and move into a bigger city? Then do it. Doesn't matter if someone doesn't like it. Also, here in Germany there are lot's of good "spiritual teachers" if that is of any interest for you. It also depends where you live and what you study, so the change could actually help as well. Regarding your "emotional problems": everyone has emotional problems, some people are more anxious or introverted or "shy" or sensitive. Doesn't mean there is something wrong with you and it also doesn't mean it has to do something with you. Maybe you just feel or pick up other people's emotions and think they are yours, who knows.

Well, I ask because it's important to discriminate if you are in a state of dissociation/depersonalisation (which is a compensation when the intensity is too high) or if you are in a real and authentic place of reality.

That's "normal", because you don't get anything out of it. At least that would be my understanding.