Toby

It's one thing to discover love as an aspect of who you are but meeting all that is unresolved is something different. "Shadow work" is more or less necessary for that. In that domain I like "The Work" by Byron Katie, "Somatic Experiencing" by Peter Levine and the Enneagram as taught for example by Eli Jaxon-Bear the best. But there are so many other approaches as well.

It depends on what model is used. Consciousness could be defined as that in which the three states of consciousness (waking, dreaming, deep sleep) appear in and could be equated with terms like "I am" or "Being" or "Turiya". Awareness (=Absolute) is beyond that. But again, depends on what "map" is used.

Swami Lakshmanjoo - Kashmir Shaivism - The Secret Supreme

Give a few million to my teachers. Fly to India, maybe do some more retreats. Give money to spiritual friends to go on retreats, buy myself a house/bigger flat in a "better" location. Help local community with social projects. Look how to help other people in different parts of the world without loosing too much to organizations. Maybe give my family some. Give money to good educational projects that help people on a global scale. Maybe give money to "spiritual people" who need it to start like a retreat / yoga center, book shops or restaurants or something. @SuperLuigi the problem is you loose more per year than you earn with interest due to inflation. and if there is a crash all money will be gone.

The pointer "there is no free will" is usually used to express that there is no "I" that could or could not have free will. And this is also what science points to.

The process is not a "fight" where you loose ground and gain ground... it is about going deeper than loosing / gaining. Investigate where loosing and gaining arise in and make peace with things changing all the time.

A friendship is a friendship. A friendship is not an asexual marriage-like-relationship which often happens in "friend zones". I for example don't cuddle with my male friends, I don't go swimming alone at night with my male friends, I don't bombard my male friends with text messages, I don't go for a walk in the woods alone with my male friends. These things are no friendships. That are examples of friend-zone-relatings which are caused by both - man and woman. The woman is afraid to say no, the man might be afraid to make a move and waits for her to open up. So both keep things secret to try to get what they want. And even if the man is honest, the woman usually tries to lure the man back in and calls it "friendship". So their unconscious patterns fit perfectly and create a mess. I still think without both playing that game this mess will not be created. My theory - and I could be wrong - is that most women who do a lot of "friend zones" might have been sexually abused at an early age so that they don't know the difference between sexual/romantic interest and a friendship. Or they have some borderline condition where they are unable to be alone.

Depends how you define things and what map you use. Usually "Being" is just the essential qualities which lie beyond and penetrate "the world" but are itself not the Absolute. Without at least going beyond/through Being to the Absolute there certainly will be no Enlightenment. But as Being is the first "thing" that arises in what could be called Absolute (and also is not separate from it) it is as closest you can get on an relative level. Because of that it is used by many teachers as a doorway to the Absolute and then Enlightenment. At least that is my understanding right now.

I was using extreme examples to make things clear. I still think you might have a wrong impression what is meant by "friend zone". It is not meant that the friend is "a" friend or an acquaintance like everyone has many... no... it is supposed to be a very very special and close friend emotionally. Otherwise, why would the man be upset that she has no interest? He is upset because he was unconsciously lured in emotionally by the woman and therefore feels used and lied to. And the woman feels used and lied to because she thought the man was interested in leading an asexual marriage-like relationship with her. So it's different interests that both have and project that the other feels the same. It's a mistake of both imo.

The "funny" thing is: I read a book about psychopathy by Robert Hare some weeks back and it reminded me again again of the PU gurus and PU community. I'm pretty convinced that some of the "gurus" are psychopaths and spread - even without obvious bad intention - their view of life and people in the community.

@Emerald It still doesn't really examine the motivations. We have to assume that patterns on both sides are responsible and these patterns are unconscious. Otherwise the man and also the woman would not act them out. So, my question would be if it could be that the woman says "No, I'm not abusing people. Maybe others do, but I'm not. I'm really a good person. I really love to connect with people, maybe even help people. It has nothing to do with emotional gratification or wanting to be special. I'm just a really good person." while in reality all this is fueled by neediness/boredom/fear to be alone... on her part which leads unconsciously to extreme emotional abusive behaviour? I'm just asking, because I certainly have exploited and abused people emotionally without knowing it myself, until I recognized it.

I'm not a psychologist but regarding Asperger / "reading Eyes" you could do this test to see how your skills are in that area: http://socialintelligence.labinthewild.org/mite/ With the other condition I don't know how to test yourself.

@Mad Max Was just a question as I experienced it myself on the receiving end where I suspected the other person didn't understand because of Autism/Asperger and maybe some delusion.

Are you sure you don't have a psychological condition where you misinterpret things like Asperger or "Erotomania"?

You never talked to her and you love her and she loves you too... yeah... seems reasonable.

I guess you are deluding yourself. What is called "friend zone" - which I think does not really exists - is when the man is used to such a degree that he complains about it and even invents such a term "friend zone". There is no problem being friends with someone. But looking back where I experienced such dysfunctional relatings I can say that the women didn't respect boundaries and core "values" which should be a given in friendships. I mean, why is it that a woman tells a man "I'm single" when later it turns out she lives together with her boyfriend for the last five years? Or why does a woman have to show a man nude pictures on her smartphone and tell constantly about sex and her dildo-collection? Or to give an even more insane example from someone else: why does a woman cuddle in a bed with someone and then is surprised he wants more than a friendship? I think this is pretty insane and has nothing to do with friendships.

Doesn't really explain the woman's motivation. I mean, being friendly and interested in people is one thing; wanting a really really emotional close relationship is another. I guess it takes two people who create some dysfunctional relating: mostly the woman is emotional needy in some way and wants to use the guy, while the guy is romantically / sexually needy and cannot see clearly that the other person or even himself is not interested in a deeper relationship. This creates a mess. Both are disappointed in the end. It's actually one way of dysfunction of both. Another very popular one is the "sex zone" where the man just wants sex and the woman a relationship. Of course, all could happen with genders reversed.

One could have an awakening one moment and be suicidal depressed the next moment. So I wouldn't assume what is or should be going on with other people.

"Enlightened people"... hard to tell... but awake beings... there are a lot of them. Probably spend time with hundreds awake beings (in physical form in a room) during my spiritual "career" as a "seeker". Only like 10-20 of them did teach.

Life purpose is an ego trip that doesn't exist imo. Imagine you have an accident and are paralysed. Speech gone, skills gone, anything you thought yourself to be is gone. What's your big life purpose now? Drawing? Cooking? Or just the way you are with what is (aka being)? From my perspective all this "life purpose" thing and searching for it comes from times when jobs defined who you are because you did it all your life. This is no longer the case. Everything changes so quickly. It's better not to seek happiness through it. Express happiness through it, but don't seek happiness through it.

What you write is full of assumptions. And these assumptions might not even be true. In fact they might be very very far from the truth.

An enlightened being in a cave in solitude does more good to humanity than 99.99% of activists. And most of enlightened beings don't even live in caves but within society and touch many many lives. And they are probably more kind than most people. So your question is more an assumption imo.

What's your opinion on that: https://youtu.be/i288Lnb7NOk?t=3m25s ?

I am.

I can recommend Adya's retreats. Registration for 2018 will be open in October 2017: http://adyashanti.org/retreat_info/Calendar-Preview-2018.html Other than that, maybe John de Ruiter (https://johnderuiter.com/events/). He is in Edmonton quite often as far as I know.