Toby

was exactly what I thought about as well when reading the thread title.

Try a relationship. Much more interesting than casual things with women. I guess, every healthy man would be bored after a while with "relationships" primarily based on sex.

Says who?

@Girzo so sitting on a butt is not enough results or what?

Since when are there supposed to be results with meditation?

Breaking news: you are not in control what she feels or thinks. So if asking her out feels "off" you're either too shy or she is not interested or ambivalent.

No, but I have been to several retreats with Adyashanti in Europe. Highly recommended.

https://www.eomega.org/workshops/the-embodiment-of-insight ?

450ug the first trip... are you crazy?

You feel like an Enneagram Type 4 to me. That's what I was thinking. I have no feedback or anything tipps or. Sorry.

Run.

Also don't confuse Love with pride where one rejects one's own neediness and projects it outward and sees needy people and wanting to serve / help them.

I'd suggest to read the chapters about "Life Purpose" in Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth". It really takes into consideration that the primary purpose is the same for everyone and that the secondary purpose can differ, as people differ. For some it might be some "huge" purpose, for some a very "simple" life style. The key is to find the answers within yourself and not just copying someone else's life. Would be really boring to do that.

Had to google what "incel" means. I mean, shouldn't be a surprise that he was an "incel" when at the slightest frustration he runs people over with a van. Edit: although I know how "existential" a "no" could feel. Maybe the pickup community contributes to this problem as well, because it promotes "male entitlement" meaning "just do the right things and the woman will like you" when in fact sometimes there is just no chemistry and the other person can still say no.

Take 1-2 days off before and after. Slow things down, relax, meditate, get a good sleep the night before, don't eat anything before the trip, but get some apples or fruits in case you might want to eat them later. Get some water. Then you can do the trip; I would do it at home where you feel safe and there are no people that could disturb your experience.

Ok, nevermind. My impression was some kind of counterphobic head/fear type like a 7 or sexual 6. Wasn't meant as an "attack" or something either because I actually am a sexual head/fear type and know first hand the worldview and limitations of it.

Not true. Watch this:

@aurum question: have you ever had a look into the Enneagram? If so, are you an Enneagram type 7, sexual subtype? (If you haven't: the Enneagram is a very good mirror / map to show a person their potential but also their unconscious patterns) I'm asking because what you wrote sounds exactly like that type and unfortunately that would be exactly the unconscious patterns running imo.

Somehow this video was recommended for me some time ago and I won't say anything what my interpretation is, but how he relates to his own children speaks for itself

Yes, it's great. Very relaxing; only side effect is a bit drowsiness imo.

Of course they are unconscious from what I have seen. Like 95% in "spirituality" or "self help" they use concepts originating in truth in service of egoic agendas. That is just how it is imo.

I would look if a good teacher is accessible where you live. Or I would look if there is some meditation group where you live. This could help immensely because it invites you to go deeper than you probably could do alone, although you are the one who has to walk the path of course.

I don't see what's not practical about. One can download most books, audiobooks or DVDs today while one certainly has to wait for an appointment with a therapist. David Berceli Exercises: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQkwLrSxd5w (short theoretical explanation) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTPFbd-5xmE (longer theoretical explanation and short exercise at minute 30 or so)

Mindfulness at least plays some role in the books I recommended. Also in the books it is said over and over again to seek professional help if it is too much. Also any good therapist will use some kind of psychoeducation. So I don't see any conflict here... Also, there are tons of workable exercises in the books. And in Peter Levine's work it's exactly about noticing sensation and "pendulate" between "activation" and "resources" ... and releasing things bit by bit. So you basically say that what I recommended won't help but then you go on and say almost the same.

It doesn't matter what caused the trauma. You can deal with trauma symptoms without diving into the story. And what you describe are trauma symptoms imo. But don't my word for it. Educate yourself about it and then decide if you are drawn to do some of the exercises you find e.g. in book 2 & 3. Or maybe you do something else about it.