Explorer_42

@softlyblossoming yes I've heard of stream entry - got into Buddhism in Uni but after that I've lost my way for some time due to working 14-16hrs a day to get my life sorted. But I've been listening to dhamma talks, Alan Watts, Ram Dass, Leo etc. for a while. This whole experience brought me back to Buddhism cause the things I've "lost" perfectly matched what Buddha described in "10 fetters" namely 1,2,3,5. But it revealed how strong the desire for rebirth and sensory experiences there is in me. Much stronger now since everything is absolutely perfect (in what we often perceive as imperfections).

@BipolarGrowth Thank you so much. I'll definitely check it out.

@softlyblossoming Yes I was listening that day to Leo's interview with "theories of everything" and as I was listening I was answering all the questions too and slowly reconciling all the pieces of the puzzle together. It was boiling in me for few hrs at work until the reality "flattened". I went out to catch some air and kept on investing this phenomena of perspective shifting. I realized that the reality as perceived and all boundaries within it are completely arbitrary and all good and bad feelings associated with it are just an ego based bias. Then I've enquired into what is aware of all that. What is it made of and what is the origin of all of it. And then it clicked and I've experienced "nothing". From then onwards it went like an avalanche. I realized that every single experience I had led me to this and that it was constructed that 'I' as reality=god=consciousness=nothing could awake to my true nature. I laughed from the bottom of my heart on the oldest joke in existence I've played on myself and I've been doing this joke over and over again for eternity. Since then there's been a permanent shift of perspective. The underlying nature of reality is joyful rather than serious. I am more loving and accepting to myself and others. Especially now that I realized that this separation is completely imaginary. There are still occurrences and hardships in life that invoke emotions of anger/frustration but after 2-3 seconds the meta perspective kicks in and it looses all seriousness and I just can't be seriously frustrated anymore like I used to. The problem I'm facing now is that I'm now aware that my true nature is to be absolutely selfless and is sooooo hard to embody being stuck in dualistic paradigm. But it will come, eventually

@BipolarGrowth Thank you so much. That was a good read. Can you recommend any specific books/sources for jhanic meditation? My first awakening was totally spontaneous while listening to podcasts at work so I do lack in meditational expertise/experience a lot.

So that's what you've ingested. I'll definitely have a read. Thank you

I found it similar to overworking syndrome/brain exhaustion. Like when your mind is forced into highest gear for prolonged time trying to nail computer project for 12-16 hrs. Mind needs a bit of unwind time to cool down in my experience.

Let me check Akashic records - it says it's whatever you imagine it to be. But on topic of heaven construct deception - you can fool yourself that you go to Asgard but that's still going to be a finite construct. And here's a clever limitation - construct is always finite and finite cannot handle to live for eternity. It will always lead to self-destruction of construct at worst. It's sort of a built in safety break of impermanence that's "programmed" into the dream by consciousness. Long story short - nothing to worry about.

@itachi uchiha Can I have 300mg of whatever you're having?

It can fool itself into experiencing self-destruction. Like dreaming a life of a suicide bomber. But then the dream ends. In absolute state of God/consciousness there is no "thing" that can be destroyed

I laughed way too hard on that one ? thank you ? @Gregory1 Isn't everything allowed ?

Now that's Love. Selfless acceptance without judgement. Not so horrible after all. Things are horrible only when you judge them as such.

I understand what you feel to an extent. Spiritual work can be hard, but it all boils down to how you integrate your discoveries. The mind can twist them into negative way as easily as it can do it in a positive way. Certain things can occur simultaneously on different "planes". There's a level of consciousness where all is one=god=infinity and there's a level of consciousness where "we" are "here" "together". You just figured out why there's something rather than nothing in the present moment. Cause infinity/god has no equal to talk to, to feel, to touch, to experience. That's why this whole duality has been dreamed into existence. If you enjoy life, and being in "material world", don't worry. You can be here as long as you want and as many times you want. After all there's nobody to stop you from "coming back" here. Maybe put on some Alan Watts or Ram Dass - when others teachings seem to heavy at times, those two can greatly help to add a joyful spin on the Truth. When it gets to hard and you detach too much, just go for a walk and breathe.