Fred Fulton

Thanks for taking the time @Ishanga and @Razard86 - I’m not there yet but I get it (as far as someone can who’s still in his mind.)

This could all be a dream and reality is just my imagination. But if there is a physical reality with real people, they are still functioning as a brain in a box that can only function with translated sensations. Is it not entirely circuitous?

Non-fiction is practically more helpful, like an instruction manual. Fiction has joy, imagination and beauty in its writing that is very rare in non-fiction. There is something about smart phone reading of news or self help that makes me feel slightly sick - fiction is the opposite.

Thanks - probably true - hard work then

All I want is for my wife to be happy and free, but it just terrifies me at a physical level that I don’t seem to be able to get close to with contemplation, meditation or anything else. I feel like an addict. I feel like the desire and fear are totally entangled. I know this is desire of oneness, the fear of not belonging/identity death. I know there’s only me that can create a solution at the root. Can I do it? So far NOPE. I understand it I think, I just can’t feel it. What’s the Work really, because what I’ve done so far just isn’t working? XXX

Looks like Stephen Hawking is posthumously coming out with a book that changes his views from Brief History of Time and moving closer to your ideas @Leo Gura Looks a good read regardless. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/mar/19/stephen-hawking-told-me-ive-changed-my-mind-my-book-is-wrong love Paul

Love and suffering - if that’s what you’re asking ?

Thanks - that’s true

Just come out of a beautiful and intense 5 day retreat at Plum Village in France. Traced not some but every single one of my thoughts now and maybe for years behind me to a need to belong. Slightly terrifying. Is this what draws all minds away from the present, is that what all language and everything we have created is? Is it why we write every emoji? Now should start to explore what else is there. Thanks ?

Ha - thanks

Hi Just about to do a triathlon for the first time and spent a sleepless last night trying to understand what I am fearful of. Realized it’s not that I am fearful of disappearing but I am that fear. That is me - that is I. Dont know what to do next. Caught between needing to build myself up to survive and needing to entirely let go of myself. It’s exhausting me. love to you all and thanks for your wisdom. Paul

I’m still way early in this exploration but gradually find things that are initially terrifying and then hopefully calm down. Just realized that every thought (including this) is a conversation with someone else. Not sure if that is just problem solving or defending my identity - probably both. I find that a bit disturbing as it feels like my core internal software isn’t what I thought it was or how I want it to be. But it’s so core I somewhat fear ‘myself’. Anyway, old news for you guys but as is my way - trying to solve/understand by talking to you. Much love

Thanks - appreciated

Not sure if this is a basic need where it stands in this diagram or part of self actualisation to move beyond the need. Trying to understand if it’s something that can be moved beyond in some way

Sure is - sorry for the delay and kind of you to reply. I am just trying to work out what I need to belong to - wife, friends, etc or be comfortable with just myself or understand reality, consciousness etc - feel like it needs to be the latter but not even really started yet

Hi Living in Norway, considering to move on from meditation. Anyone locally with some experience to share? Thanks!

Hi i know you all have more to deal with than this but massively appreciate your thoughts. My wife had something like an emotional affair with a colleague for a year or so. Maybe something physical occurred maybe some sexting. I picked up on it early, worried about it most of that time and my wife lied to me a lot about their connection and when they would meet up. Eventually it came out one night. That was 3 years ago. I now just live terrified that what we have (which is pretty perfect life with wonderful kids and a wife who is actually great in many ways) is just a lie and one day I will find out that this other relationship continues and our relationship is false. So I have tried meditation and learnt a ton of stuff. I see that this is a fear in me not of my wife - a fear of not being good enough, separation and death. I know logically the fear is a lie. I could separate and know I would be fine. But I go through and endless cycle of gaining strength, feeling good, relaxing and then being triggered by total fear that this is false. I understand the concepts of impermanence, non judgement, LOVE, openness. I feel I need to strengthen and loosen my identity at the same time. I know this fear is my prison not my protector. But I never break the cycle. I cannot seem to find the steps to walk me out of this. I also cannot discuss this with my wife as it just depresses her if I mention it and hard though it is, this is my fear to deal with. With LOVE Fred

That’s true - thanks

Hi So here’s my take on The Problem, heavily influenced by this site. Really appreciate your thoughts on whether I have it right and then how to solve it. The crisis we are heading towards in the next 30 years is going to be horrible. Climate will be a big pressure but it will also create a feedback loop of fear that will bring all our other problems to the fore. More walls will go up, more populist leaders will be voted in and the society we live comfortably in now could collapse, all over the world. The climate crisis is obviously caused by burning fossils fuels etc which is driven by our desire to consume which has itself become tied to our identity. Loss of that identity be it through being told to consume less or differently, not go on holiday, not do whatever - equates to death. The same fear is coursing through Putin’s veins and tragically (although it’s attached to the values we love) those in Ukraine as well. This fear, related to identity, separation, other has existed as long as we have but now there’s this many billions of us, it’s creativity will be our downfall. A spiritual leader called Adi Da speaks of the concept of prior unity, a universal conscious force, indivisible, acausal and absolute. All manifestation is arising from a prior and intrinsically indivisible unity. Not sure if he’s taken the same psychedelics as you Leo (I think he was one of those rare geniuses who just intuited it) but this seems to be getting to the same place as your work Leo. This is pretty good news, if both the fundamental truth and the solution to The Problem are the same thing. My difficulty, along with most of the other billions is that I am solidly trapped in my separate identity. I’ve done some work over the last few years that’s clearly made me see the fear I live in but I have barely budged it a few cms. I am about as privileged as anyone on the planet can be - with access to education, time, people I work with. So a few questions because I believe in 100% responsibility and if not us then who. 1. Is The Problem accurately described? 2. Is the solution understanding unity beyond a sense of self to such an extent that it removes the fears in 1.? 3. How can that be achieved for larger numbers of people so it catches like wildfire? 4. What would a society based on unity look like to give a vision for people to aspire to? What of self would be retained. I turn to you all for your ideas and pointers because I have nowhere else to ask and I have searched pretty far in conventional wisdom. I just hope we find the answers before they are made brutally clear to us all. LOVE X

Thanks both, really appreciated. We had some counseling while this was going on so that’s been undermined a bit. I have tried a few different counselors- they help, I feel better, relax and then get scared again. I forgive the past with peace, the problem is the fear of it recurring in the present. But it feels right when you mention it - feels like it softens the resistance. I know I can only find peace if I can come at this with love, just bloody difficult! thsnks again!

Leo Is that not exactly the point - a shift from relative to absolute? We are scared individuals who consume or wage war to defend our identity. A loosening of that identity and a shift towards unity would solve these problems. I probably totally misunderstood as a newbie but is that not the basic reason for your Work? Fred p.s. Even if that is not the reason, your site is amazing and a reflection of your staggeringly brave work

Thanks - then it’s about creating systems for inclusion. That sounds right.

Hi Have you read good quality articles or have ideas yourself and how a society of the future looks and functions with less focus on the survival of the identity of the individual? Assuming that is not Communism. Thanks Fred

Thanks Johnny - I follow all that you say but never considered food as such a cornerstone. Do we not already have an abundance of food - just poorly distributed?Would that not just lead to more exploitation of the natural world?