Fred Fulton

Thanks for taking the time @Ishanga and @Razard86 - I’m not there yet but I get it (as far as someone can who’s still in his mind.)

This could all be a dream and reality is just my imagination. But if there is a physical reality with real people, they are still functioning as a brain in a box that can only function with translated sensations. Is it not entirely circuitous?

Non-fiction is practically more helpful, like an instruction manual. Fiction has joy, imagination and beauty in its writing that is very rare in non-fiction. There is something about smart phone reading of news or self help that makes me feel slightly sick - fiction is the opposite.

Thanks - probably true - hard work then

All I want is for my wife to be happy and free, but it just terrifies me at a physical level that I don’t seem to be able to get close to with contemplation, meditation or anything else. I feel like an addict. I feel like the desire and fear are totally entangled. I know this is desire of oneness, the fear of not belonging/identity death. I know there’s only me that can create a solution at the root. Can I do it? So far NOPE. I understand it I think, I just can’t feel it. What’s the Work really, because what I’ve done so far just isn’t working? XXX

Looks like Stephen Hawking is posthumously coming out with a book that changes his views from Brief History of Time and moving closer to your ideas @Leo Gura Looks a good read regardless. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/mar/19/stephen-hawking-told-me-ive-changed-my-mind-my-book-is-wrong love Paul

Love and suffering - if that’s what you’re asking ?

Thanks - that’s true

Ha - thanks

I’m still way early in this exploration but gradually find things that are initially terrifying and then hopefully calm down. Just realized that every thought (including this) is a conversation with someone else. Not sure if that is just problem solving or defending my identity - probably both. I find that a bit disturbing as it feels like my core internal software isn’t what I thought it was or how I want it to be. But it’s so core I somewhat fear ‘myself’. Anyway, old news for you guys but as is my way - trying to solve/understand by talking to you. Much love

Thanks - appreciated

Hi Just about to do a triathlon for the first time and spent a sleepless last night trying to understand what I am fearful of. Realized it’s not that I am fearful of disappearing but I am that fear. That is me - that is I. Dont know what to do next. Caught between needing to build myself up to survive and needing to entirely let go of myself. It’s exhausting me. love to you all and thanks for your wisdom. Paul

Not sure if this is a basic need where it stands in this diagram or part of self actualisation to move beyond the need. Trying to understand if it’s something that can be moved beyond in some way

Sure is - sorry for the delay and kind of you to reply. I am just trying to work out what I need to belong to - wife, friends, etc or be comfortable with just myself or understand reality, consciousness etc - feel like it needs to be the latter but not even really started yet

Just come out of a beautiful and intense 5 day retreat at Plum Village in France. Traced not some but every single one of my thoughts now and maybe for years behind me to a need to belong. Slightly terrifying. Is this what draws all minds away from the present, is that what all language and everything we have created is? Is it why we write every emoji? Now should start to explore what else is there. Thanks ?