bambi

But there is no purpose for God to do this. In the same way I can take my hand and put it on a stove until its all ash, and then my arm, then my leg, then my face, and burn myself slowly to death; I dont? Why because that would be fucking stupid Just because God could possibly imagine an infinite hell, that would be completely stupid, God would be a moron, which it clear isn't. You are robbing all intelligence from God If I have enough intelligence not to do it, and I am God, then God also has enough intelligence not to do it Have you ever experienced this infinite hell? No.

@Leo Gura please answer these questions for me, as you are the only one who can 1) why me and my life, whats so special about this 2) why can't conciousness fragment itself into different perspectives, encapsulated by my experience, just by a dissociated boundary/divisions like a kaleidoscope, with mine being the outer

And is DMT the only way? Ive done ketamine 1000 times and had crazy experiences, but nothng that is giving me anything conclusive... does DMT give more answers??

@Leo Gura but why this incarnation, why my childhood, family, what so special about this 'bambi' out of the infinite number of other possible selves or identiites I could have been

@Leo Gura life still makes no sense, I suffer deeply. I have been meditating and in solitude mostly for 3 years. I have a condition where if I engage in any sexual activity at all I get chronic brain pressure. It feels when I take psychedelic's I have infinity reconciling itself in my eye shakra. Ive been mostly celibate for 3.5 years (2.5 years no sexual activity) But what would you do if you were me? Nothing helps with the pressure in my head, I feel like im losing my mind. My symptoms match POIS (post orgasm illness syndrome) 100%. If Im God why do I punish myself like this. Via POIS Ive found and learnt so much, but isnt the time for learning over? What is the point of realizing God, its like a paradoxical nothingness Is it myself making myself renounce sexuality and become a monk Im the only person who exists who understands your latest video, and the wink was comforting, but help me , please (I wish you could have experienced the amount of paradoxes and strange loop shapes I saw and see in everything, very cool)

Consciousness itself is a construct..., its an infinitesimally small part of God, when you think you know Gods limitation (conciousness), times it by infinity and your in the right direction

But what is the point in all this madness, besides the point being its own point (a=a)... how to move forward Leo

Okay understood And how would you compare Ketamine vs Mushrooms vs 5MEO in terms of helping you in life

Nah Leo, this doesnt cut it, I did all of this, and theres a small reddit group of POIS sufferers all INTP/ENTP Do I just go celibate, as thats the only thing that seems to work (slowly) @Leo Gura youve done all this work, and just please tell me how this road doesn't lead to monkhood, why shouldnt we both become monks tomorrow and renounce the world (selflessness) give me your logic

@Leo Gura is my guru, so what does he suggest

whats the alternative

@Michael Jackson you imagined the hand infront of you, and everything since your birth, so why would you imagine everyone else as anything less then infinite? that just means you were looking at everyone wrong

Leo is an INTP there is no question about this. He should inspire everyone, forget about his philosophy, but how much he has pushed himself, to constantly grow and search for truth

This is the only story that could ever be told

After 500-1000 ketamine experiences, in light of Leos last blog, here are some messages over the years I had written down after my trips, maybe they resonate with you: Ethereal fabric substance of nothingness creating somethingness, thisness, as this out of an infinite number of infinite choices is the only thing worth creating, every moment is infinitely precious Pulling away reality piece by piece: as you pulled away the last piece, you will realize reality was telling you the same message every single time you pulled away the piece, but it took until there were no more pieces left, for you to finally confront the message God is the only possible author that wrote the only script that could be possibly written, by the only protagonist that could only ever had been cast, expressed infinitesimally precise in the only way it could have been told; by you As you come to understand, youll begin to understand theres only you that could possibly understand it Reality is so complex, no matter how much you understand, you are always infinitely far from understand its complexity, until you do understand, and in that moment there was never anything to understand

Hi Leo, Just watched your latest video ketamine. In this video you start talking about not knowing infinity or its nature, but previously youve insinuated the opposite, that you can become directly concious of this full infinitude, can you explain I've done ketamine maybe 500+ times, maybe more, so well acquianted with it, including the bladder damage, so if anyone has any questions please let me know

Hey just want to say not sure if its something you consciously worked on, but your communication recently has been so much more approachable and friendly, its good to see, definitely helps with the discourse quality on here

This sense of time and perception coming back online happens in a k-hole

TBH its not that dangerous as a one off, just take it and lie on your bed, its kinda fun before and after the hole, youll just be so disorientated you wont be able to stand up. But honestly I cant see how you could hurt yourself. I used to mix it with alcohol and go clubbing lol, just had some stupid experiences doing that, Ive never known anyone to hurt themselves k holing. Can be disturbing for other people watching you lol as youll be like a zombie

Thanks for the reply 1) My bladder is really fucked, its healing and recovering as I type (been over 3 months since I did ketamine), also it screws cognitive ability after a certain point, chess score drops by 20-30% after an inflection point of consuming has been reached. I definately pushed the boat here, but alot of my friends since uni have had to go to hospitals etc and have their bladders stretched or partially removed. There is a danger with ketamine, it can be used an escapism from life and suffering, and get pretty addictive. This is via snorting, and is an extreme. I was always careful 3-4g per week, where my friends would do this everyday 2) Interesting shizen young I dont regard highly, Ingrams book is okay for a specific type of meditaiton which you mention. Both these though don't represent the fullness or joyness of meditation. After two vipassana retreats which are no fun at alll, I switched and learnt shamatha or Jhana practise as taught by people like Ajahn Brahm, they have a complete over take on meditaiton. I achieved the first Jhana in meditaiton retreat, and its indescribable, its stronger in my experience then any psychedelic's I tried, and more pure and wholesome. Close your eyes, and imagine letting go of everything in the universe apart from your breathe, joy and happiness arise, and when you get proficient, the strangest thing occurs, in your visual feild (with eyes closed) the purest brightest white light/disc appears, and with it comes a release, kinda like being unbinded, and the joy and happiness and contentment it brings become unlmited, and you can actually absorb into this bright white light. The whole fo reality dissapears, sense of self etc and your just immersed in this pure bright light, but drenched in pure joy and happiness. This is the 1st Jhana, many mons describe it as what people assume heaven to be, and theres 8 of these things. This Jhana is completely indesriable, it literally puts you in the best mood you could possibly be in. Furthermore to even get into this Jhana, you have had to orchesrate your life to be more and more selfless and joyful, so its like the most wholesome pursuit possible Monks like Ajahn Brahm describe God as Peace or Love, he wrote Mindfulness and bliss, and then the Art of dissapearing, both are worth reading. Id be super cautious of learning buddhism through this guys like shinzen or daniel, Whenever i come out of a period of ketamine, my motivation for meditaiton is 10x What I would love is for you to train and obtain all 8 Jhanas full absorption and then tell me how it compares to your experience with psychedelic's.

I just can't buy that you become omnipotent and omniscient on ketamine, there is no area of this substance I have not covered, Ive taken it so much in so many ways (my bladder is completely fucked), Ive taken it after a year off and two months in silent meditaton retreat. , I have taken such a sheer amount of it, used with spiritual practices at times, there is nothing that even insinuates with this compound you become infinitely concious of anything, quite the opposite, you lose all ability to become concious of anythign in any capcity, your simply incapacitated in a really fucked up space of existence, the notion you are infinitely powerful, knowledgeable etc on ketamine is absurd to me, unless we are talking about very different things or expectations in regards to omnipotence or omniscience. From what Leo says about 5MEO is as your in your room, you become clear concious of how everything in your concious field is being manifested by you, and you have full control of this, otherwise it would just be conjecture

The dangers of all psychedelic's are escapism. Anything that changes your state in a positive manner has high potentiality for addiction

These are some drawings I did straight after some k-holes, cos its impossible to put it into words. But essentially the wavy shit on the right is what you become in the k-hole, completely abstract fragmented wavy stuff, with no sense of anything, there is no reality, self, or anyhting else, its like your teleport to an abstract place. The left part and the bits in the middle are as you come back into this singular fixed concrete moment of perception, you go from disintegrated abstract waviness to complete fixed singularity is only way to describe it

But I had so many crazy crazy experiences with ketamine, near death ones or at least it felt like that, the whole of reality collapsing and kundaline energy shooting up my body, until i collapse and the whole of reality is about to disintegrate apart form one spec of my will to live still remains, or so it felt like. I even had tons of ketamine experiences where my whole body just melted, and every single part of trauma i have kept in my body melted. Every single pain i had and didnt even know i had dissapeared. eye sight become super sharp, posture one 100% perfect, could move freely and sit in lotus. Would look at my body as though Im God, and that every piece of information i had learnt and my whole life is just a journey to help me understand i am imagingn everything but none of this is omniscience or omnipotence, and tbh i never paid to much weighting to any of this, cos it always wears of after the trip

Lol there is no k-hole awakening, k-hole is like being blasted into a chaos of completely disintegration, there is no ability to even conceptualize a world or even oreintate yourself to a reality or a self or any concept of an awakening. Imagine being so blind drunk you cant stand up or see anything, now times this by 10, without any physical sickness, you lose all touch with reality, you cant see a thing, you go into a super super abstract dimension, have you seen intersaller where hes locked in the book case, this is like a k-hole