A Fellow Lighter

Okay, so what is it?

@YeahIam yeah, the insight is that you're stuck. I mean, why else would you feel stuck if you weren't stuck? This is a common case of spiritual stagnation. Your intuition doesn't betray you, my friend. So, why are you stuck?

Yes, I understand that. The question here is.. if I am here, in the now, and I am God dreaming up everything, then, what exactly is it that you (yes, very much in my mind as you're saying) doing? What is @Inliytened1 doing/occupied with, when I'm doing all the work - imagining things, as you say?

Do you know how God is love? Have you truly awakened to that truth, or have you only rationalised it to be so? If not then let this not be your stance in questioning the seemingly dark nature of reality, for this will yield no fruit. Rather ask why is there suffering if you wish to learn why it is, in deed, here. Or, you may ask how is God love if that is your main query.

@Inliytened1 but.. okay, so if I am here, and I am God dreaming up this entire reality, then what are you doing?

Depends on what you mean by “nothing”. What I've come to learn is that the substance of all matter is vibration. And that every state of consciousness (stable or dreamlike) is stationed by a vibration's frequency. The weaker the frequency, the more dissipative and fleeting everything in reality is; the stronger the frequency, the more steady and stable everything is. Now you could say that the vibration is nothing because you awoke to its infinitude - that is the multidimensional nature of vibration. Otherwise to say that beneath creation is nothing would be to negate much needed for you to awaken to. It is only no-thing because it is without finitude - vibration is infinite and whole, from every point of observance.

There are no weak or strong pursuits in life. There is only individualisation - individuals pursuing their individuality via freewill. The pursuit of “material matter” is merely the pursuit of energy - that which enables your individualisation. So, the first thing that I will suggest here is for you to surrender that distinction you've imagined between “material matters” and spiritual matters. Are all things not energy? Does money not enable you? Surrender this idea of material matter, for it is not serving you, but feel free to keep it if it serves you. May your will prove strong. ?? Learn Lighter, do not simply meditate, let the energy flow. If you are doubtful then learn the source of this doubt. Lying to yourself only results in more of the chaos. We only ever do what we will, Lighter. Any distortion of this simply results in chaos within one's self. Why must “spiritual realisation” be different from freedom to do as you please? To realise your spiritual nature is to realise your freedom, Lighter. Spirit is like wind, it cannot be tamed or bound by any other force, lest it wills so. In this creation, one only ever is and does what s/he is willing to be and do. This is Law. @Rokazulu you can be most certainly sure that you are doing, and can only ever work, your will. There is no way around it, for this is Law. Therefore I suggest you surrender the story you tell yourself about you having a primary and secondary and tertiary and etc pursuits. There is only one purpose in life, and that is enlightenment, this is not primary - it is unitary. Absolutely every being is working this will in accordance with its individuality. Should you continue to imagine these distinctions then of course there will appear to be “no real focus” in anything that you do. Is it not clear enough that in your seeking to commune with individuals of a certain vibration that your life has most certainly a real objective. Your very being tells you this, but you struggle to receive the message in all the fog you create in your consciousness with your imagination.

I'm afraid you misunderstand the point of the challenge, Lighter. And this is simply because you still have a lot to be conscious of. My friend, in this life are only two moments in which you're most alive: one is a moment of mild to wild pleasure; the other is a moment of mild to wild pain. It is certainly only in these two moments when you're highly highly conscious of what it truly is to be alive. In between these two moments is what I call meditation. With that being said, suffering is merely one quality out of three qualities of what is called “experience”. Each is self-induced. Suffering is not inevitable, it is qualiated by the mind. Then you have made Suffering your God, my friend. God, in the creation of life, has only ever said, “Let there be light.” Thus, the purpose of life has only ever been enlightenment. The challenge is not to endure any kind of suffering, nor is it to outgrow form of any kind, that is to say we may be human for as long as we wish to be human, for all is the expression of Creator, none better than the other. No, the only challenge in life is to work our will, for Work is Law. It is Law because it reflects truth - truth of who you are, who you are willing to be. One only ever is or does what s/he is ever willing to be or do. This is the gift and law of freewill.

Those seconds of utter terror ? ?????? It is more than possible to become even clearer. Our work is that of energy-patterns, in this light, we are more likely to behave in, and perceive, the world as we most frequently tended to. The only thing is breaking this pattern in order to initiate and develop a more encompassing energy-pattern. The principle is work. So yes, after that moment of awakening you're most likely to get moved/carried away again by the momentum of your dominant, everyday life, waves of energy-patterns that you've built up this far in your life. This is what karma actually is. This is not anything like a fault on your side, it is simply truth - Work is Law. We receive only what we are willing to receive, learn only that we are willing to learn. And it is this very freedom of will that must be reflected by your work. So don't be discouraged, brother, and instead strive even further towards the Light, for it is truly beautiful.

Is your cousin getting professional help? You mentioned some doctor having confirmed his illness. Is s/he also treating him? My primary advice is professional help.

@Insane butterfly that is just excellent ?

This has to be the most confusing thing I've ever read in my life ? What does the term “God” mean to you? What do you know it referring to? If I may ask

So .. if you know that you're not in control, what is it that you fear losing, exactly?

My mind is this entire room that I perceive a self (myself) to be inhibiting.

You can't, you are always in the know. Your “pee angels” are the evidence of that, so long as you understand that you're the mind, whether asleep or awake.

It's the number of Balance

Perception is the way it is due to our human-vibration, I'd say. What you described with your psychedelic experience sounds about just right. On psychedelics, or trance-states of consciousness, the ability to morph perception is immediately available. (Btw, next time try manipulating your body temperature at will and see what happens) The world/perception/consciousness, which ever term you find suitable, and everything in it all is stationed by a frequency. This is literally what gives consciousness shape or structure. If you raise your vibrational frequency high enough to match that of human consciousness, the nature of the world is most certainly revealed to you - that it is entirely psychedelic. The only thing is, the vibration with the highest frequency shall prevail or predominate. This you discover and rediscover every time you come down from a high, because your raised vibration wasn't natural, thus not frequent enough as to withstand the frequency that shapes the world. All of this is possible simply because consciousness is not the brain like our sciences teach us though they are very perceptive. Consciousness is a stream, much like the streams of your television programs, it though is a stream of intelligent energy - the energy that enables you to inform or be informed by the world. So you can imagine why it would be that easy to disrupt that stream of intangible energy-patterns. It's because you're not interacting with a solid reality, you are interacting with a psychedelic reality (as your experience with shrooms have proven). Now I'm not sure how exactly this answers every other question ever asked but I'm curious as to see how you'll steer it to that direction. ??

If I may answer the more general side of your question. In my experience, I am always finding beauty to be more of the matter of conception than perception. I'll explain. You see, as a kid, I had this rather childish belief that every big girl - not slender - is an ugly girl, and that's that. In fact, this was quite a popular notion amongst my juvenile peers. We boys would judge rather harshly the beauty of the girls, including the teachers. Of course, our judgement was limited, seeing how we didn't take a lot of features into consideration - if she was big than she was ugly. However, quite rapidly as I matured forth in the years, this perception of beauty changed rather drastically. Quite sincerely, I now find big girls to be even more beautiful than small, slender girls. Not that thin girls aren't beautiful anymore, it's only that I prefer bigger girls over the typical, slim waist, model-like girl. In fact, as I soon came to discover, most African-Bantu men find women of a heavy-build more sexually enticing than slimmer women. Quite literally, the thicker the better. Anyway, why do I mention all of the above? It is to refute the notion of apparent beauty. Because, whether we admit it or not, society has set standards of beauty which we all are to aspire towards. The only thing is, we don't actually have to aspire to them in order to be found attractive, simply because we are not merely rational beings striving towards an ideal. No, we are, in fact, more energy beings striving towards more energy. We only need to work with our vibration in order to be found attractive almost to anyone, even the same sex if you will. You have probably heard of the golden ratio - the number that is found in nature¿ Well it is also said to be the number of beauty, “the mathematical symmetry algorithm that underlies our perception of beauty attractiveness.” If we were more rational than energy-orientated (emotional), then our experience of falling in love would almost certainly be a mathematically determined experience. No matter how horrid our partners are behaving toward us, we would find it certainly impossible to fall out of love with them, simply because the math dictates that s/he is too beautiful to be, well, an ugly person(on the inside). In deed, love and beauty could be calculated and predictable just as the laws of nature have proven to be predictable. BUT, that is not the case , for we are energy-beings dealing with energy-patterns, not mathematical patterns the least. So, in this context, I say that beauty is more of a concept than a percept. We, almost intuitively (if one has matured beyond the ideals of the media), determine who is a beautiful person, who do we find attractive. Because, believe it or not, it is their energy that we're interested in, it is the aura that they radiate that we find attractive or too low to be attractive, we are attracted to what they have to offer our emotional-spiritual livelihood. Otherwise you would put up with the most abusive relationships, the truly ugliest of the people. You are most certainly familiar with the saying, “Opposites attract.” This is because the truthness of this statement has rendered its meaning indispensable. It is even evident in our first nature of erotics, the male being attracted to the female and vice versa. But because we are more than physical-mechanical beings (we are energy-beings) it predominates our first nature and becomes even more evident in our masculine and feminine energies which exist in both man and woman. We are transcendental beings. We seek what we believe will give us balance, we seek what we believe will offer us harmony and grace. The average man of our time will desire the so-called sexy woman, but not because she is quite mathematically perfect; he desires her because the positive energy she receives from our socio-collective ego continually reinstates her natural confidence that she is worthy of every man(being) and every thing. This boost expresses itself in the way she walks, the way she talks, and the way she generally conducts herself. The man is drawn to her because it is that exact confidence that he wishes to integrate with his energy. Ask any man what he desires and he will tell you anything along the lines of it making him more confident about himself, such as that new sports car or more hair, or whatever. But in essence he actually wants to be more confident, because confidence is more masculine energy than it is feminine energy, confidence is more resourceful in the so-called “Man's World” than it can be in the woman's world - where compassion is virtue. As a wise man once said, “Confidence is Dominance.” So of course he will be attracted to those women whose egos are being boosted by the media. I mean do they not possess the confidence that you wish to integrate with your energy-field which will render you more dominant in your pursuits of everyday life? Of course you do. And then, once you've integrated that energy by communing with your confident partner, you will set out to find a partner who radiates an even higher vibrational frequency that will enable to integrate a higher power of energy. I will stop here for now. The point that I've attempted to make, rather elaborately, is that beauty is whatever it is that you yearn in its expression, like a moth to the flame, or that weird looking guy in The Hobbit to the jewelry. You conceive beauty according to the energy you need. Energy, quite simply, is any vibration that enables you. Do you not wish to be enabled? You want that which is immediately higher than what you have, And SO DOES THE WOMAN. And just as you have picked up that she radiates at a higher frequency, she will pick up that your frequency is quite low in your struggles with self-confidence. She rejects you not because you are physically unappealing; she rejects you because she will have little to integrate from your energy in your lower vibes of insecurity and whatnot. You wouldn't trade 100 bucks for 1 buck, now would you? It is really that simple and certainly innocent. However, our social media has perverted this simple communing of beings into something that is rather meaningless. Please note, I am not rejecting the basics of mathematical symmetry in that which is appealing to the eye. To do this would be to reject our admiration for our crystals in jewel form. No, I am merely speaking to the force of attraction betwixt ourselves. This force of attraction is energy based, not ratio based. I hope this brings clarity. You are more than welcome to inquire further should you want more clarification.