Peace-and-Love

@Hello1 I knew a girl that was a very well known pole dancer and she had the most amazing tits from doing upper chest exercises. They literally looked like implants, but these we’re her natural boobs. Perhaps going to the gym could help? I agree with@Preety_India there is definitely some self esteem and insecurity issues that are beyond the boobs. A man should love you beyond your looks. Think about this for a second- think of the married couples/and or long term relationships and women that have babies every year. Some women unfortunately get stretch marks, saggy boobs and wear and tear on their bodies, but their partners still love them unconditionally. Love is long term. Love is deeper than looks. You have more to offer a man/partner than your looks. Your interests, your love, you care, your gifts, etc. You are worth so much more than you think. You are priceless. You are a Goddess, regardless of where you are in your life. But I honestly do feel where you are coming from. Regardless what anyone says even if the guy likes you for you, you are still going to feel insecure about yourself, and you need to do something about it. I had the same problem with my hair. I only felt beautiful if I was blonde for a really long time and no one could convince me out of it. And once I changed my hair to blonde I felt confident and happy again. I eventually grew out of it and I’m now brunette, when I was ready. You have to weigh out the right decision for you- exercise, implants, etc. you’ll feel better if you take care of your body. Research and meditate on your answer. I support you in whatever direction you choose.

@Antor8188 I think it’s all in the approach, your attitude and demeanor. Being friendly, being kind. Being real. Being patient. You don’t have to ask every girl for their number. It’s better to analyze the situation. Being aware, and seeing if there is a connection and a possible match. Being the best version of yourself. Dressing nice, taking care of yourself and your appearance, both inside and out (physically, emotionally and spiritually balanced). Treating people the way you would want to be treated. I think loving yourself and being confident is a big aspect with approaching women. You’ll feel fearless, and you won’t care about if something works out or not because you are grounded and know you are an amazing person regardless of the outcome. Several years ago, after my dad passed away from colon cancer and my mom was single, my mom got picked up from a guy in a local grocery store. They ended up dating for six months. Do you want to know what he said to her? He sincerely asked her about salad dressing and what to use to help him lose weight. They ended up connecting really well and were talking for a few hours in the grocery store and exchanged numbers. The thing is he sincerely asked her about salad dressing. It wasn’t some cheesy pick up line. And they ended up helping each other lose weight in their relationship together. They connected because of similar interests. Don’t worry about the girls that snicker or give rude comments. These women are not a match and don’t waste your time with them or trying to win them over. Just like with friendship, love is the same, It’s about quality over quantity. Know your worth, know your value as a man. Know that you’re a good match for the right girl that deserves your heart. I want to tell you about how I met my current boyfriend and what he did to win my heart. My bf and I used to work together in a retail job at a pet store. We didn’t work in the same department but we did interact with each other every so often. He was the only person that genuinely asked me how I was doing every day. And I really liked that he generally cared about my well-being. Every week he would help me clean this super large turtle tank. He was naturally a social butterfly and what was so interesting about him is I remember we would talk about things (and it was fun and enjoyable) even though we didn’t seem to have anything in common at the time. I remembered we would talk about alcohol and drinking, and even though I have been sober for over 4 years, the conversations were fun because I got to reminiscent about my past and tell them about the amazing shots and wine I used to drink. He wasn’t evasive. He wasn’t pushy. He was fun, friendly, happy and full of energy. It was magnetic. And even though he liked me he didn’t feel it was right to ask me out (which I didn’t know at the time). I started to look forward to these meetings with him and cleaning the turtle tank. And each time he asked things about me and how I was doing it got a little more personal each time. I remember showing him a photo of me in a swimsuit where my best friend and I had gone hiking and looking at waterfalls. He was always very smart about his responses especially the photos. He didn’t come off super flirtatious. The interest and attraction eventually grew and I pulled him aside and asked him if he wanted to meet outside of work and get coffee! The rest is history. And we’ve been dating for almost a year and half now. I think the best way to meet people is by hobbies and common interests. Go to a class, go to a concert, go to a convention. Go out and do something fun! Feel the moment, and be happy and engage with women in those moments and you’ll have better responses. Best of luck to you!

@PepperBlossoms For a long time I thought I knew what I wanted in a partner, that perfect 10. (Physical attraction, life purpose, similar career, interested in personal development- Reiki, hypnosis, meditation etc). And when I had a few instances when I had the perfect 10 I wasn’t satisfied because they were narcissistic, rude, non-committal or something else that couldn’t be ignored. My current bf is out of the norm. We don’t connect eye to eye on everything but we are supportive of each other. It seems to work for me.

@Preety_India I totally agree with this!

@PurpleTree I try to be kind and polite and sometimes you never know you might learn something new from a person that has a different perspective! If the connection is truly not there it’s not worth pursuing. Life is more enjoyable with people that you can truly connect with and have similar interests.

@fictional_character I’m sure it’s very possible to be friends with the opposite sex especially if you put up boundaries early on that you are only seeking friendship. My bf growing up was a super social butterfly and has had best friends both male and female. I think it worked to his advantage because he never had issues getting girl friends or just talking to anyone. I think the more relationships with women you have as friends the better off you can be because you can learn so much from experience. It will be easier for you to connect and start conversations. Plus these women friends could help you meet someone! The more social your life is, the more exposure to people you will have, leading to more potential matches! @Preety_India I can also personally relate. Most men I’ve met are usually just interested in more than just friends the majority of the time. (Although there have been a few exceptions with a childhood friend or two). And it’s crazy because I’ve had a few instances where I’ve been hit on by men that are in relationships. I will say it’s nice to be in a committed relationship because then they leave me alone! Lol!

@Striving for more - most of the guys I’ve dated in long term relationships have been about my height or slightly shorter. I’m 5ft 9in, and they’re usually 5ft 8in- 5ft 11in. There is perks to being similar height though. I think it’s easier for intimacy/sex/69! Lol! I feel more connected because I’m looking straight in his eyes. My current bf is 6ft 6inches. And I’m the tallest girl he’s ever dated from what he’s told me. And he’s definitely the tallest for me! He usually goes for the shorter curvier type while I’m more tall and slender body. He says I’m not the usual type he’s attracted to, but he tells me often that I’m the hottest girl he’s ever dated. And his attraction for me is off the charts. Sometimes dating out of your comfort zone can be a good thing because you could be missing out on a possible good match. I think sometimes we can be so rigid on what we want. Like we can come up with this list of everything we want for that perfect partner. And when that happens the love becomes conditional, we can become too vain in our search. And then when you have found that perfect 10 and something doesn’t match up on the list it crumbles. Attraction, good looks, (including height) don’t equal a good match or long term partner. My bf is not my perfect 10, and I’m ok with that because with personal development we can work together and he can become my perfect 10.

Nice to meet you! You are a beautiful soul inside and out! I’m so proud of you being so open and vulnerable!

@Preety_India You are more than welcome. I speak only the truth. Because you are good enough just the way you are! Thank you! You are too kind! That means a lot to me. I am back!! Lol! It’s been way too long! Thank you! You’re kind words mean more to me than you know. I was very hesitant to go darker, because I had insecurities that I was only attractive if I had blonde hair. But I’m glad I broke my belief system and I was encouraged by others (that care about my emotional well being) to go darker. And plus my bf loves the dark hair! We need to catch up!!

@slicketygiggedy I’m so sorry you are struggling with acne! I hope you can find relief and something that works for you. I used to get acne a lot when I was younger and noticed it would happen whenever I ate dairy and white sugar products. When I changed my diet it was gone. Your skin is the largest organ you have in your body. It sweats to eliminate toxins and cool down the body. Acne is considered by some holistic professionals a process of eliminating and detoxing things out of the body. I would try an elimination diet like many are suggesting here and see what happens! Best of luck to you!

I would have to agree with you on this one. If you look at it from the opposite perspective (Of a women’s rather than a mans) a lot of dating women’s groups will say that if the man doesn’t offer to pay for a date that it is a massive red flag as men should be the providers and protectors in a relationship. They will often say if they don’t provide or show signs at the beginning of the relationship you are wasting your time. I’m just being honest and telling the truth. *also read what I wrote above. I think it depends on how the girl was wording it and her intention. Some girls are users and only looking for financial gain. She probably was testing you too see if you’re a good provider. Did you offer to pay for the first or second date? If she was cold I think the right thing to do would be to offer your jacket to keep her warm. If you really liked her, and the vibe I get you don’t, but if you did the right thing to do would to buy her a coat and tell her you want to be there and support her. Feel into her emotions and sympathize with her. It could also be a great way to progress the relationship romantically if there was something there chemistry wise. Being in this forum really allows me to reflect on my current relationship. I feel so blessed and lucky because my bf bought me a winter coat for Christmas and on our day off we went shopping together and he bought me another expensive designer coat for $150. And that was because he wanted to, not because I asked him. But then again, if I probably asked he would of done it anyways. I also provide for my bf and buy gifts for him as well. We celebrated a Christmas together like little kids and opened a ton of presents for a few hours! It was so much fun, giving to each other but that’s just what we chose to do specifically. I love giving gifts because I enjoy seeing the person happy in the receiving. I actually enjoyed watching my bf opening his presents more than opening my own! Lol but I did enjoy and appreciate all the gifts he gave me.

@Vincent S - Great Answer!! I LOVE IT!

@Vincent S What do you love about life?

I love the emotional vibrational feeling of love! How it feels in my heart chakra and makes me so balanced. I second that! Woo hoo! That’s right! What somebody’s negative opinion of you is doesn’t matter because people will come and go in your life. Opinions and thoughts change and fluctuate and evolve. The people that think you aren’t good enough don’t deserve to have you in your life! Boundaries a form of self love protect us from letting people in that don’t deserve us, and let’s people know how we want/deserve to be treated. I love me! (Giving myself a big hug right now!)

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day! Regardless of age, gender, sexuality, race, religious beliefs, and relationship status I hope you know that you deserve love regardless! Regardless of where you are in your life you deserve love! Even if you think your life sucks, or think you are not attractive enough or good enough you deserve love! You are love, and we’re created by love, the highest emotional vibration in the universe. Thus you can create more positive loving experiences for you and others around you. Be love and attract love. I hope that if you are single that you love yourself unconditionally, because that is the most important love of all. Without loving ourselves it can be hard to give our 100% all to love someone else. I am Love! I am totally awesome! And I am totally me! I am totally Awesome! And I am totally free! I have power and I use it everyday in a totally awesome way! I am totally Awesome and I am totally me! *I hope you take time today to reflect on all the things you LOVE in life! In fact, why not list them here! Have a great day!!